


After Hours

by anarchyarmin



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe – Mafia, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Smut, M/M, Minor Erwin Smith/Mike Zacharias, Minor Jean Kirstein/Eren Yeager, Minor Mikasa Ackerman/Annie Leonhart, Oral Sex, Panic Attacks, Significant Gun Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-15
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2018-11-14 08:50:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 53,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11204580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anarchyarmin/pseuds/anarchyarmin
Summary: Armin discovers the hard way that the list of things he won't do for money is rather short. When he takes a job disposing of dead bodies for the mafia, he thinks his life has hit an all-time low. He'd have quit by now—if not for bitter, snarky Levi, who isn't quite what he appears to be.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The last thing I need to do is start another fic. But I got an idea for this little experimental Rivarmin AU and couldn't help myself.

Armin examines his fingernails. Still dirty, but not enough to raise any suspicion. He lathers his hands again and rinses them in the cracked porcelain sink of the 24-hour diner. His skin is red and raw. He takes a deep breath and understands why they call it back-breaking labor. In the last two weeks, he's only dug three graves, but his body screams with soreness. He tried wearing gloves at first, but the blisters they gave him are only just starting to heal. Between the dirt and blisters, he chooses the dirt.

Levi doesn't look up when he approaches the booth. Is he ignoring me on purpose? Armin wonders. He sinks down across from Levi and picks up the sticky, laminated menu.

"I didn't order you anything," Levi says.

"It's fine," Armin says.

"This coffee tastes like shit."

"So you know what shit tastes like, then."

"Tch." Levi rolls his eyes.

"I figured you did, the way you brown-nose Erwin." Armin sets the menu down.

Levi looks up slowly, with a scowl that makes the room ten degrees colder. "You want me to pick a yard to bury you in?"

Armin's body is tense. Adrenaline rushes through him. He's never stood up to Levi; he takes the man's taunts like punches. Not this time. "Like you can find a good one without me."

Levi sits back and crosses his arms, and Armin sees something he's never seen before: the first faint traces of a smile on Levi's face.

Armin's shit at digging and he knows it. His days of high school tennis conditioning are long behind him. But in his late father's respectable car, he's an ace at canvassing houses. No one suspects the young, soft-spoken blonde man.

A tired-looking waitress takes their order. Scrambled eggs and toast for Levi, hash browns for Armin. And a coffee.

"You seriously ordered the coffee," Levi says as the waitress walks off.

"I'd just about drink battery acid if it'd keep me awake." This time Armin leans back in his seat and meets Levi's gaze. Is it just his imagination, or did that little grin widen?

"Can't say I've ever used that on a job," Levi says. He grips the cup again but doesn't lift it to his lips.

Armin looks at the cup, then at Levi's mouth.

"What?" Levi says.

"Nothing."

There's a moment of silence. Armin feels the weight of his phone in his pocket. The temptation to turn it back on is overwhelming: anything to distract from the full force of Levi's attention. Armin rests his elbow on the table, his face in his hand. No, I can do this, he says to himself. He'll never know if there's anything behind that chilly exterior if he can't even sit in the man's presence. At the end of the job Levi announced he was 'fucking starving.' Armin obligingly drove them to the diner. It's wishful thinking, he supposes, to hope that Levi planned this, bringing Armin with him, rather than waiting to eat alone.

Armin catches a snippet of conversation from the table behind him. "I think we're the only people in this place not speaking Polish or Spanish," he says.

"What do you expect, this part of town?" Levi's face is stoic and unamused again.

"Or Ukrainian," Armin says, listening in closer.

"You can tell the difference?" Levi squints.

"Yeah," Armin says.

"You're not Ukrainian, are you," Levi says.

"No. I studied Russian."

"Oh. Right. You mentioned that." Levi takes another tentative sip.

So he was paying attention after all, Armin thinks.

"So what were you planning on doing with that Russian degree?" Levi cocks his head a little to the side.

Armin sighs. The waitress sets a cup of coffee in front of him. He runs a hand through his hair; the waxy roots beg to be washed. "Not sit here and give you a lecture about it," he says.

"Tch."

Oh. That's it. This time the smile is real. Armin fidgets and reaches for his coffee. It's rare he meets a man as pale as he is, but Levi gives him a run for his money. His high cheekbones and sharp, square jaw make Armin feel soft and childlike in comparison. Armin tries not to stare. Levi's narrow eyes are rimmed with lashes dark enough to look like makeup.

"And what are they talking about over there?" Levi asks.

Armin looks into the dark surface of the coffee and pretends to listen. "Uh...so...this guy's dog ran away."

"Really."

"Yeah," Armin says. "They, uh...found him a neighborhood over. Digging in a yard, under the shrubs—"

Levi snaps his fingers and points at Armin. "Don't you even fucking joke about that."

Armin laughs softly in spite of himself. But the little grin is still on Levi's face. Is this it? Armin wonders. Is this how the facade starts to crack?

The waitress brings their food. Levi wasn't lying about being hungry, the way he eats as quickly as he can without embarrassing himself. But in Levi's presence, Armin has no appetite. He picks at his food and tries not to watch Levi eat.

"You were right about the coffee," Armin says.

Levi just cocks an eyebrow and continues eating. Eventually he looks into the distance past Armin's shoulder. "Yeah, well, you were right about finding yards."

Armin clenches his fork tightly so he doesn't drop it. He blinks a few times.

Levi blots his mouth with the paper napkin, a strangely delicate gesture for a man who killed their last victim by choking him with his bare hands. "I get impatient with people," he says.

"I noticed."

"I tell Erwin not to send me on a job with someone else if they don't know what the fuck they're doing." Levi glances at his plate, then back at Armin. "So most of the time I work alone."

"I though Erwin was supposed to be your boss, not the other way around." Armin knows he's pushing it. He braces himself for the smackdown. But the prospect of thawing the frost is too enticing.

Levi smirks. "Depends on what he's in the mood for."

Armin feels the fabric of his shirt getting damp under his arms again. "I thought he was into some weird stuff."

"Like your fucked-up front yard burials?"

"Sure."

"What is that called," Levi says, "when something is just so...out there, that it might actually work?"

"I don't know," Armin says. "There's a name for that?"

"Tch. Your fancy-ass college didn't teach you that?"

Armin just shrugs.

"In any case, you're lucky that he likes you." Levi's change in animation spurs Armin on.

"Why? What happens to the people he doesn't like?"

Levi rolls his eyes again and sighs. "I go after them," he says. He cracks his knuckles against the table.

**

Two weeks prior, Mike lay half-awake in Erwin's room, his massive frame sprawled diagonally, taking up most of the bed. Levi peeled Mike's heavy arm off of him. He got up and threw on a pair of gym shorts and a sweatshirt, some of the clothes he kept at Erwin's for these late nights turned early mornings. He stepped into the living room and froze. An unfamiliar figure lay asleep on the leather couch with a throw blanket draped over him. Levi walked cautiously and peered at the man's profile: the little blonde twink from the bar the night before. He'd seen him talking to Erwin. He'd watched him, from the corner of his eye, down several rounds of drinks. He had no recollection of Erwin bringing him back.

"Mike." Levi brushed Mike's face. "Who the hell is that in the living room."

Mike rolled over and groaned. "Hm? Oh. Erwin has a job for him."

"Yeah, but who is he?"

"Levi, I don't know. Ask Erwin."

"And where is Erwin?" Levi nudged Mike's ribs with his foot.

Mike shrugged. "Probably at the Doctor."

The Doctor was the code name for their neighbor, Zoë Hange. A weapons specialist.

Levi walked back out and took no care to not make noise. He pulled a tin of matcha and a whisk from a cabinet and set to work. The young man stirred.

Armin looked around the room, then down at his body, as if surprised to still be dressed in his clingy t-shirt and dark jeans. Mike walked in, yawning and stretching, dressed in only boxers.

"I—uh, is this—" Armin stammered.

"You're looking for Erwin," Mike said.

"Yes." Armin looked to Levi somewhat like a nervous baby deer. "I don't, uh...I don't remember coming back here...did I—"

Mike sniffed the air and laughed. "If you fucked him, it wasn't in here."

Armin's face glowed red.

"He says he has a job for you, remember?" Mike opened the refrigerator and took out a pitcher of water. He ruffled Levi's hair, and Levi immediately swatted Mike's hand away.

"Yeah," Armin said. "Right. Ah, so...when...is Erwin coming back?"

"Eventually," Mike said with a shrug. "You can wait here." He took his glass of water back into the bedroom.

Levi sat perched on a bar stool, sipping his tea, and contemplated their visitor. His long, light hair was slightly cow-licked, his blue eyes anxious and wide. Erwin must have been tired or busy to leave such a pretty kid alone. Is he saving you for later? Levi wondered.

"In the meantime, you should go back to sleep," Levi said. The dawn light glowed gray through the windows.

"Excuse me?"

"Because you drink like somebody who doesn't want to wake up," Levi said.


	2. Chapter 2

Levi's words cut through him like a knife. Armin had not, in fact, wanted to wake up that morning. Or the day before. The night before he found himself at Erwin’s, he'd fallen asleep at four in the morning with his computer open on his lap. Sixty browser tabs of job openings, most of which lay just outside his reach, and a half-dozen half-started cover letters, none finished. If he hadn't scheduled a tutoring session for the afternoon, he would not have left the house.

"Come on," Eren said. "Just one drink. You need it." Thursday was Eren's night off, and he wasn't going to waste it.

"Spoken like a true bartender." Armin went back to his book.

"Armin." Eren grabbed his shoulder. "Come on. You never go out. We never do anything. Tell me how one beer is going to set you back—"

"All right, all right, fine. I'll come with you." Armin slapped the book down on the coffee table, a yellowed paperback copy of Dostoevsky's _The Idiot_. "Is Jean coming?"

"No, he's got a gig," Eren said. "I'm meeting him later."

It was just as well, Armin thought. He liked Jean just fine, but he hated feeling like a third wheel.

"How'd it go today?" Eren slipped his jacket back on and shoved his keys in his pocket.

"Not awful," Armin said. "Some of these kids need a lot more help than I give them, though."

"Yeah, but isn't that a good thing?" Eren asked. "I mean, if their parents are going to shell out sixty bucks an hour, don't you want as many hours as you can get?"

"Well, yeah. I guess." Armin had been hoping to get more clients, rather than just more hours with the same kids. They walked up the steps to the train platform and Armin was loathe to admit that Eren was right about getting out. The fresh air was already reviving him. "So. Where are you taking me?"

Eren cracked a smile. "It's new, just opened. I think you'll like it."

"Yeah? What's it called?"

"Trost Brewery. Same owners as Shiganshina."

Armin crossed his arms. "So you get the employee discount?"

"Damn straight. First drink's on me," Eren said.

It didn't matter, Armin thought. He'd only planned on having one anyways. But one turned to two, and then three, and then it wasn't Eren buying the drinks, but the tall, smiling man in the cobalt blue suit.

Erwin clapped Eren on the shoulder and sat down in their carved wooden booth, his head just missing the iron lantern above them. "Eren. Good to see you. What do you think of the new place?"

So this is the owner, Armin realized. He had an electric charisma and an unnaturally white smile; his deliberate movements made him seem like a living Ken doll. What happened next surprised Armin: Eren spouted off about the bar, and the man listened. Armin watched his eerie, catalog-perfect face as he considered Eren's words.

"You don't need any more hours by chance, do you?" Erwin asked after a moment.

"Oh. No. I'm already six nights a week at Shiganshina," Eren said.

"I figured as much," Erwin said. "And how is it going?" To Armin, he seemed unusually earnest.

"It's been great." Eren grinned from ear to ear, and Armin knew he meant it. "Armin's looking for a job, though."

The man turned his blazing smile on Armin. Armin felt a tightness in his chest.

"How're we doing over here? Another round for you guys?" The waitress reappeared, a blonde woman in a dark green velvet dirndl, whose classically pretty face was punctuated with an usually sharp nose.

Erwin laughed. He stood up and gave her a hug, as though she were an old friend. Then he turned back to Armin and Eren. "Get whatever you want. It's on me."

"Actually, I better get going," Eren said. Only Jean could pull Eren from the lure of a free drink. "I'll, uh—see you back at the house?"

"Yeah. Sure." Armin stayed planted in the booth, alcohol starting to dim the edges of his awareness.

"Anyways," Erwin said, "I'm always looking for intelligent people." Armin flinched slightly at the eye contact. The color of Erwin's eyes made him think of the dyed-blue water he'd seen in the fountains at Disney World as a child. "So tell me. What kind of work are you looking for?"

Armin's memory was hazy after that.

**

Levi felt the floor vibrate. The bar on the roof of the Hotel Mitras was packed on a Friday night. From their corner booth on the raised platform of the VIP section, the crowd was a writhing mess of silhouettes with the skyline sparkling behind them. Levi hated crowds. From a distance, he could tolerate them. A young man with a shaved head set another scotch and soda in front of him. Levi gave a curt nod of thanks.

"Let me take him with me," he said, trying to keep his voice as neutral as possible.

Erwin grinned. "And since when do you need any help?" He took a sip of his own drink.

"I don't," Levi said, smiling back.

Mike let out a bellow of laughter.

"What? Can I help it if I have a thing for intelligent blondes?" Levi looked at the two men across from him.

Erwin nodded. "You have a point."

"Besides," Levi said, "he's not going to last twenty minutes with anyone else."

"How charitable of you to babysit," Erwin said. "But I think he'll do all right. I trust my own judgment."

"I never said I didn't," Levi said.

Mike continued to chuckle. "I still don't get why you don't put him to work in the hotel. I mean, look at him. Think of the clients he could pull here."

"I considered it," Erwin said, his smile predatory. "It's still a possibility."

Levi felt his guts clench. He had nothing against the escorts in Erwin's hotel. Several had gotten him out of scrapes in the past, or made lively conversation to help pass the time between watching marks. But Levi realized he didn't particularly want to date one, and it was pure selfishness making him hope Erwin wouldn't cast Armin in that role. He supposed that was rather rich coming from a guy who'd spent the last few years fucking not only his boss, but his boss's husband, and often at the same time. How territorial, he thought, to want someone all to yourself.

"But I need people who can think." Erwin tapped his cigar over the gold-edged ashtray. "And think fast." The city ordinance forbade smoking on the terrace, but Erwin had the 42nd ward alderman eating from the palm of his hand.

"What, your girls here aren't thinking fast?" Levi sank back in his seat.

"I would never suggest such a thing," Erwin said calmly. He took another drag and surveyed the people below. "But what I need help with now isn't charm, it's logistics."

Two tall figures lumbered their way through the crowd. Erwin stood up to greet them. "Reiner. Bert. Good going last night. That was just as seamless as it could be." His delighted smile lit up their corner of the terrace. He turned toward the bar and held up five fingers. "Connie," he shouted over the noise.

The young man nodded and planted a bottle of champagne and five crystal flutes on the table. Erwin opened the bottle, shooting the cork somewhere far off into the distance, over the edge of the roof.

Levi sat back as the others talked, watching. He was always put off by Bertolt's shy demeanor, confused at how a man who stood six-foot-four and over two hundred pounds could act so bashful and submissive, looking at Erwin as if he were the president. Reiner, built like a tank, was a kind of human wall, stoic and expressionless except for the glee he took in mutilating people. Levi found them both profoundly boring.

Everyone you hire is either a coward or a monster, Levi thought, sipping the cold champagne. Of course, there were exceptions. But the few genuinely sharp people under Erwin's watch tended to be women. The others, it seemed, were driven either by fear, or a thirst for whatever violence could give them a momentary feeling of power.

Levi took a deep breath and hoped that Armin would be different.

**

The first job went almost as planned.

Levi flung open the door to the hotel suite and froze. "Annie? What are you doing here?"

Armin stood in the door frame behind him, speechless. He took a deep breath. Stay in the room, he told himself; you candle this. Erwin and the others had more guns than they could ever possibly use, but not even the most sound-proofed rooms could conceal the shots. Erwin preferred to have them work silently, traceless; systematic jobs contained within the hotel. Armin fought to hide the sound of his breathing, nervous and tight. What scared him the most wasn't the scene in front of him, but the prospect of being flung back in time: the sound of gunshots triggered vivid memories.

He expected the room to be empty except for a sealed crate. Instead the waitress from the night before stood with a length of lead pipe in her hand and a dark ribbon of blood down the front of her costume. The brewery was on the ground floor of the hotel; the suite on the second. A woman in a red vinyl dress stood across from her, over the body of a man lying on the ground.

"I had to call for backup," said the woman in red.

Armin surveyed the damage from the struggle. A decorative vase lay broken, a cabinet door banged in. In the corner of the room stood an untouched bar cart with wine and glasses. The woman's red lacquered fan and a length of rope lay on the bed.

"Mikasa, what the hell? You're losing your edge," Levi said with a sneer.

She scoffed and set her hand on her hip. "Oh, please. If he'd been as drunk as he was supposed to be, I could have strangled him like 'that.'" She snapped her fingers.

"Yeah, all right, well, tell me about it when we get home," Levi said.

Home? Armin looked the woman over. For an instant he thought she looked similar to Levi, although taller, with darker skin and softer features. They certainly sounded alike, though. Armin felt nauseous. There's a dead man lying on the floor, and your first concern is whether a man who doesn't even like you is single? Maybe you're better suited to this kind of work than you thought, he told himself.

"The real question is what are _you_ doing here," Mikasa said. "I thought Bert and Reiner were getting rid of this guy."

"Change of plans," Levi said. "The Doctor needed them at the dock."

"Of course she did," Annie said dryly.

"And who is this?" Mikasa asked, nodding toward Armin.

Annie grinned. "You look familiar," she said to him. "You must be new."

Levi turned to Armin. "Get the van. I'll get the cart. You have to load him in, though," he said to the women.

Annie rolled her eyes.

"I can't go outside spattered in blood," Levi said.

"All right, fine," Annie said.

"Come on. Don't pretend you can bludgeon a man to death but you can't lift him into a fucking box."

Mikasa crossed her arms. "Just get us the fucking cart."

**

"You're sure there are no cameras," Levi said.

"Yes."

"And no dogs."

"Yes."

"Good." From the corner of his eye, Levi saw how tightly Armin gripped the steering wheel, his posture tense. Levi reached in his bag for his phone and an auxiliary cable.

"Wait," Armin said, his face white. "Do you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

Something bumped against the inside of the crate.

"What the—you've got to be fucking kidding," Levi hissed. "Get off the highway. Now."

"Shit...let me think—"

"Now!" Levi shouted.

"All right! Fine!" Armin passed the next exit.

"What are you doing?"

"Just give me a second!" Armin took the next one. The dark parking lot of a closed-down high school stood a half mile from the main road.

Levi jumped out out the van and wrenched open the back door. He threw the crate onto the ground, and the semi-conscious man rolled out. A kick to the head, then another. Blood covered Levi's steel-toed boots.

He looked up from his work and met Armin's motionless gaze. Armin stood across from him, silent, his expression more hollow than fearful. Without saying a word, Armin knelt down and helped Levi lift the dead man back into the van.

**

It was nearly 3 AM when they made it back to the hotel to change and swap cars. Armin sat down on the edge of the bed in the hotel room, his hair damp and silvery from the shower. His clean white hooded sweatshirt reminded Levi of the one Annie wore to the gym, or around his and Mikasa's apartment. The Doctor made a point of wearing white; her lab coat made her look cartoonish and deranged. But on Armin, white seemed quiet and pure, like undisturbed snow.

"I don't think I can keep doing this," Armin said to the carpet.

"You will," Levi said, scrolling through his phone, looking at nothing in particular. "As long as you need the money." Levi sat with his shirt off against the headboard of the bed.

"What did Erwin tell you about me?" Armin turned around for a second, then went back to looking at the floor.

"He told me what I needed to know," Levi said. Erwin had said almost nothing. "Do you even remember how much you told Erwin when he picked you up?"

Armin said nothing. He lay back onto the bed, his feet still on the floor.

Come on, Levi thought; don't give out on me now. I still need to see what you're made of.

"My life is over if I mess this up, isn't it?" Armin asked the ceiling.

"Tch. You would never have agreed to work for Erwin if you didn't think it already was." Levi could see Armin squinting, as though fighting off tears. "There's three things you ought to know about Erwin," Levi said after a moment. Armin blinked his eyes open again. "The first is that he knows you're only human. All right? So don't think you're going to be asked to do something you can't do. The second," Levi laid his phone on the night table, "is that he never asks anyone to do anything he wouldn't do himself."

Armin sat back up. "What's the third?"

Levi wondered if Armin was trying to avoid looking at him. "This is just conjecture on my part. But I think you remind him of himself. And he likes that."

Armin ran his fingers through his hair. "Great."

There we go, Levi thought. Just the faintest spark of attitude. To go with your strange ideas. "Why do you need the money, anyways?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Armin said. He got up and slung his bag over his narrow shoulder. "I'm going home."

Levi watched him walk to the door.

He turned back to Levi for an instant, his hand on the knob. "I'll see you later."


	3. Chapter 3

Armin couldn't tell if Eren was home when he unlocked the creaky door to their garden apartment. He walked softly anyways. In the dim light seeping in through the glass brick windows to the living room, he pulled a letter opener in the shape of a sword from a ceramic cup on the coffee table. Armin flicked open the envelope from his sweatshirt pocket and examined the contents. $2,500 in cash and a pay stub claiming that Armin worked at the Trost Brewery. He supposed he shouldn't be surprised that Erwin had a system to cover their tracks.

The cash was nearly five months' worth of rent in their west side shit hole. Armin hated that apartment, half underground and so dark it felt like living in a grave. But with his decimated credit he felt he had no choice but to live with Eren. Eren, who scraped by at a snail's pace, with none of Armin's debts, but few ambitions either, it seemed.

Armin still owed Eren his first two months of rent. He had to pay it back—but not so fast as to make Eren ask questions. He considered pretending he'd gotten another real client. Maybe two.

It was late afternoon when he woke up. The smell of shisha drifted in from upstairs. Without the patio they shared with the rest of the duplex, the apartment would have been unbearable, Armin thought. Eren sat with Jean in their dilapidated teak chairs, smoking the tall gold and green hookah from the Turkish uncle he'd had no contact with until after his mother's death. Armin at least liked the smell of mint and smoke. He walked up the steps to join them.

"Hey," Eren said. "When'd you get in last night?"

"Uh...late." Armin took the empty chair across from them and unwound an extra hose. "I covered a shift for another manager."

"On your first night?" Eren took a long draw.

"Yeah, they got a shipment in, so I helped with that. More training. Figured I might as well."

Jean laughed. "Don't do too much too soon, they'll get used to it."

"So how do you like it?" Eren asked.

Armin felt uncomfortably warm. "Uh...it's fine." Shit, he thought. They expect details. "The manager who's training me is kind of an asshole, though." His voice cracked slightly.

Eren blew a smoke ring. "Tell me about it."

"Maybe he likes you," Jean said.

Armin's laugh was just a little too high and a little too loud. "I don't know. That sounds pretty Junior High."

"You'd be amazed." Jean said. He and Eren glanced at each other.

"How old is he?" Eren asked.

Armin shrugged. "Mid, late twenties?" Levi seemed strangely ageless, like a vampire. His face looked young, but his hard demeanor spoke to experience.

"Is he gay?" Jean asked.

"I think so." Armin had first seen Levi walking out of another man's bedroom. It seemed like a safe bet.

"Does he kind of ignore you on purpose?"

Armin didn't like the smile on Jean's face one bit. "I...yes. Yes, he does."

Jean chuckled. "He'll come around."

"Oh my god," Armin muttered. He looked at the concrete tiles and took another draw from the hookah. Eren had wanted to set him up when he first moved in. He eventually gave up.

"Yeah, give it a few weeks," Jean said. "If he's just an asshole, nothing will change. Otherwise you'll start to see the cracks."

"Wonder if he's trying to impress you," Eren said.

Armin doubted it. Levi seemed on the edge of patience in his presence, as if waiting for him to fail. But his attitude was so cold, it was difficult to read. No, Armin thought; don't put these thoughts in my head, you two. Don't lead me on like this.

"You know what you gotta do," Jean said.

"What?" Armin shrank back a little in his seat.

"You gotta 'break the dam.'" Jean set his hose down and reached for his coffee. "Every person has got at least one thing where if you get them started, they won't shut up about it."

Eren laughed. "Think we all know what yours are," he said to Jean.

Jean shrugged. It was unusual, Armin realized, to hear him talk about something other than Dj'ing or his late ex-boyfriend Marco. He figured the sex had to be good for Eren to put up with it constantly. But perhaps it was something Eren wanted in a partner: someone nocturnal, who also knew what it was like to be ripped apart by grief.

"Or give him the silent treatment. He'll talk more," Eren said.

Armin gave him a confused look.

"You know, like what Erwin does when he asks you a question. Like when he's quiet after you think you're finished, and you keep talking."

Armin had visited Eren at work enough times that he didn't suspect he was doing anything for Erwin on the side. Still, he didn't know how much Eren knew.

"So what does he look like?" Jean asked. The neighbor's speckled cat wandered over and rubbed his head against Jean's foot. Jean leaned down to pet him.

"Uh...dark hair, short..." Armin wasn't about to say 'pretty and evil,' though those were the first words that came to his mind. "Kinda built like a gymnast..."

Eren nodded and grinned. "What's his name?"

"Levi."

**

It's not difficult to be quiet when you're too stunned to speak. The second job was marginally better. Armin stepped out of the van in the mostly empty parking garage. Levi stood over two contorted figures, a gun in his hand.

"God, you butcher," said an unfamiliar man, laughing. He wore a black apron and heavy duty rubber gloves. He handed a set to Levi.

"Shut up, Connie," Levi said. "If you or Reiner had to take them out, we'd have to pressure wash this whole goddamn garage."

A broken bicycle chain lay next to the first figure. From the gashes and grease on the dead man's face, Armin realized Levi had beaten him to death with it.

"Shit," Connie said, pulling the crate from the unlocked back of the van. "They're not gonna fit, are they?"

"Yeah, I wasn't expecting this guy to have back-up. Whatever. Just shove them both in there."

The back-up lay on her side, her eyes still open. Blood trickled from her open mouth.

Carla.

That's who the woman looked like, Armin realized. He shut his eyes and braced himself against the van. A wave passed through his body, energy pouring through his feet. She looked exactly like Carla, lying on the floor of the Jaegers' old house.

Levi slammed the back door shut and handed the apron and gloves back to Connie.

"Y'all better split before somebody asks about that gunshot," Connie said.

"Yeah, no shit," Levi said. "All right. We're out of here." He turned to Armin. "Hey. You ready?"

He grabbed the gun from the ground and put it back in its holster under his sweatshirt. Armin still stood frozen. Levi snapped his fingers in Armin's face. "Armin. You ready?"

"Yes."

"Then get in the van."

**

Armin wondered if perhaps there was something seriously wrong with Levi. His stoicism pointed to two possibilities. The man was either, in fact, a sociopath, or he possessed a quality Armin had craved his whole life: unparalleled composure.

"You all right?" Levi asked.

Armin kept driving in silence.

"You doing all right?" he asked again.

"What?" Armin was startled at the question.

"You looked pretty shook up back there," Levi said.

"Oh. Yeah."

"For a second there I thought that lady was someone you knew."

So he had been watching me, Armin thought. "No. She just...looked like it." His voice was barely a whisper. "Who were they?" Armin asked after a moment.

"If you needed to know that, Erwin would have told you."

Armin merged onto a different highway. Erwin gave just enough information to each operative for them to do the job and nothing more. The less they knew, the less they could reveal by mistake, and the less could be used against them.

"All right, well since our mystery corpses are really quite sincerely dead, I'm going to put on some music," Levi said. He hooked up his phone to the stereo. A tremulous violin broke the silence, followed by a sorrowful baritone lamenting an upcoming duel. The music was in Russian.

"This is...Eugene Onegin?" Armin asked, his blood pressure almost back to normal.

"You an opera fan?" Levi asked with the faintest hint of intrigue.

"Not really," Armin said. "I read the original in college." He took a deep breath. "You find this relaxing?"

"Immensely."

Well, if this was the dam, it wasn't going to break tonight, Armin thought. Levi reached in his duffle bag and pulled out a silver thermos. An unfamiliar, pleasant smoky smell filled the air when he opened it. Levi savored whatever he was drinking and didn't say a word. He'd had a thermos of something different the last time, Armin remembered.

Armin listened to the words, the twisted lyrical dialect. And for a few moments, his own worry was supplanted by the singer's cruel betrayal. Maybe Levi was right. It wasn't exactly relaxing. But it certainly was distracting. At least, until blue flashing lights appeared in the rear view mirror.

"Fuck," Levi whispered.

Armin felt the draining again, as though he might lose consciousness. Oh god. Please not now.

"Those are for you," Levi said. "Pull over. And don't look so fucking scared, they'll think something's wrong."

A tall blonde female cop stepped out of the car. "License and registration, please," she said as Armin rolled down the window.

He willed his hands not to shake.

The cop peered into the van. "Levi?"

"Nanaba?" He leaned across the console.

"What the hell? You changed your license plate!" She stepped back and crossed her arms.

"Mike didn't give you the new list?" Levi asked.

"No." She shook her head.

"Figures," Levi said. "Why'd you pull us over?"

"Your left tail light's out."

"Fuck. I thought Sasha checked the van."

Nanaba shrugged. "Well, you better get it fixed before someone who isn't family stops you for it."

"Yeah. Shit."

"Get Gelgar to do it. It won't take long." She looked back to Armin. "I don't think we've met."

"You haven't. He's new," Levi said.

"Nanaba." She shook Armin's hand. His newly calloused hand felt weak and cold in her confident grip.

**

The work went quickly. The nursing home went under in the recession, and the building stood abandoned ever since. In the overgrown courtyard, they could afford make a mess.

"How'd you find this place?" Levi asked after they'd broken about 18 inches of ground.

"Oh," Armin said, snapping out of the trance of the repetitive motion. "I'd been looking for a place to move my grandfather. A few months ago." He wiped the sweat from his forehead.

It was better that they worked by moonlight, Levi thought. Just enough light to see by, and just obscure enough to conceal his glances in Armin's direction.

His frame was slight, but the contour of his arms suggested he'd been athletic once. Levi liked the way the fabric of his shirt clung to his body, the sound of his sighing every so often, and the way he flung his damp hair out of his face.

"The place my parents put him was getting too expensive," Armin said. He unscrewed his bottle of water and took a sip. "So I just remembered this place from that."

Again, good thinking, Levi thought.

"You're still supporting him," Levi said.

"Yeah."

"No help from your folks, huh."

"They're, uh...no. They can't help me."

Levi decided to leave it at that. Too much more, he thought, would seem like prying. It's a noble motivation, he thought, for doing this kind of work. Not pure greed, not total desperation. At times, Levi wishes he had family to take care of. At times, he's glad to only have Mikasa.

**

Armin opened his eyes when he heard the door to the bathroom open. He'd drifted off lying on the bed in the hotel room, waiting for Sasha to drop off their money.

Levi walked out shirtless with his hair wet. Armin immediately closed his eyes again. He sat up and looked at the floor. Fuck, he thought. I can't even look at him.

Levi unlocked his phone. "You can go," he said.

"What?" Armin turned around in spite of himself. He let his eyes drift over Levi's body until he looked up from the little screen.

"Sasha's bringing you your money tomorrow. She's a bike courier. You going to be home?"

"When?"

Levi looked back at his phone and Armin allowed himself a breath. "She says noon."

"Yeah, that's fine." Armin hoped Eren would still be at Jean's by then. "I'll, um. I'll see you next time, then."

"Yeah. See you then."

Armin walked to the door. He turned around for just a second before he walked out. Levi was still looking at him, with an expression that looked almost like sadness.


	4. Chapter 4

There's a little smirk on Levi's face when Armin sees him next. They walk toward each other from opposite ends of the long hotel corridor. Levi pushes the cart. A switched-off walkie-talkie and a heavy set of keys hang from his belt. Armin wears an extra maintenance jacket. An elderly gentleman nods 'good evening' as he steps into the elevator. Levi nods back deferentially and Armin tries not to smile.

When he opens the door, he sees Annie sitting in the windowsill of the 11th floor hotel room in her white leather catsuit, smoking a cigarette. A corpse lays on the bed, his neck covered in rope burns.

"Put that out," Levi says.

"Whatever you say, Doctor Ackerman." She takes another drag.

So that's his last name, Armin thinks.

Levi stands in front of her with his arms crossed.

"What? I turned on the fan," she says.

"It's gonna reek of smoke in here."

She rolls her eyes. "What, like Erwin’s going to notice?"

"You can't do that on the roof like everyone else?" Levi squints.

"Fine. Whatever." Annie squishes the lit cigarette against the dead man's forehead, and a stench of burning flesh joins the smell of tobacco.

"God, you're impossible," Levi says.

Annie shrugs. "Where's your drop point?"

Levi raises a finger to his lips.

"Aw, come on," she says. She turns to Armin. "Anyways. How are you holding up?"

He blinks for a moment. "So far, so good."

**

Armin's still chilled by Levi and Annie's casual approach, but his body doesn't seize up quite as much, and it feels like progress. The elevator trip to the lower parking garage is a quiet eternity. Armin's eyes dart from Levi's profile to the top of the cart and back. He feels himself sweating, but it's not from fear. When the door chimes and opens, he figures the worst is over. If he's going to peel back another layer, he'd better start now.

"God, she's creepy," Armin says as he starts the van.

"Yeah. Erwin really knows how to pick 'em." Levi opens his thermos. This time the smell is fresh and grassy.

"So...how many of 'them' are there?"

"You'll meet them eventually," Levi says. "In the hotel, there's Annie and Mikasa, Hitch, Ymir, and Historia."

"Are they actually escorts?" Armin asks.

"No. They just have to look like it. Erwin's got plenty of real ones." Levi takes another sip. "And then in the field, there's Ilse, who you probably won't meet. She's a bounty hunter. Erwin and the Doctor get her leads and weapons in exchange for a cut."

He's talkative tonight, Armin thinks. Even in a good mood, if such a thing is possible.

"And then there's me," Levi says.

"So...his hitmen are all women except for you."

"Yeah, I have that dubious honor."

"Why is that?" Armin doesn't want to ask too much.

"Because they're quiet and they're clean." Levi pauses. "Well. These women, anyway." The shift in Levi's expression makes Armin afraid to ask about the exception. "They work fast. That's Erwin’s style. You know what some of these guys are like. They get on a power trip, they make a total mess out of things. Everything goes red, they don't think. You probably noticed you don't exactly fit the profile of the kind of man Erwin hires. Consider yourself special."

Armin feels a fluttering in his stomach. "You're kind of a neat freak, aren't you?" he asks after a moment.

"Tch. I am a normal, civilized human being, and everyone else is wallowing in filth."

Armin laughs. He tries not to laugh too hard. "Ok, if you say so." He senses Levi's grin from the corner of his eye. How in the world did you end up digging graves, Armin wonders. Is this supposed to be some kind of punishment?

There's three possible drop points. Armin decides he's feeling brave. He chooses the one that's farthest away.

Levi plugs his phone into the stereo again. This time a bass line kicks in. Then an 808 drum.

Armin sighs. "I hate this kind of music," he says after a few minutes.

Levi turns to him slowly. "Excuse you?"

Armin bristles. But the amused smile on Levi's face makes him feel electric. "This sounds like what my roommate's boyfriend plays."

"Let me guess. He's a DJ."

"Yeah. He does this minimal, tech-house stuff; this real Detroit sound kind of stuff," Armin says. "Puts you to sleep. I mean, I like house music just fine, but I want something with a melody."

"So what do you like?" Levi asks with a little sneer. "Progressive? Trance?"

"Yeah, actually." Armin says. The more I push back, the more he seems to like it, Armin thinks.

"God, I hate that stuff they play at Mitras."

"But that's all like Top 40 remixes, right?"

"Yeah, that or some trap shit," Levi says.

"Ok, some of that's garbage," Armin says. "But you gotta admit. It gets people dancing."

Levi shakes his head, but the smile is still there. "It gets them buying drinks."

"They seriously never have an industry night or anything?" Armin asks.

"If they do, it's only nights when I'm not there. It's like they know I'm coming, and they serve up the junk food of music."

"Yeah, ok, then what does that make this?" Armin points to the stereo. "Something bland as hell? Oatmeal?"

Levi lets out a sharp, cruel little cackle. The first time Armin's ever heard him laugh. "Just listen. You're not paying attention. It's good for you."

"All right, whatever you say, 'Doctor Ackerman.'" Armin's palms sweat on the steering wheel.

Levi shakes his head.

"So now, if I listen to this, I'll be more like you." Armin's sure he's gone too far, until Levi tilts his head back and laughs again. "What even is there to pay attention to?"

Levi scoffs. "It's very complex. It's just subtle."

"God, you sound just like Jean," Armin says, feeling bold. "I better make sure I never introduce you."

"Quit rolling your eyes and focus on the road."

Armin laughs softly to himself. He tries to quell his growing, gnawing worry that of all the people he could feel painfully attracted to, this one kills people seemingly without remorse.

"And tell your friend he's got great taste," Levi adds.

"Oh no," Armin says. "If Jean's head gets any bigger, it might explode."

"Tch."

"And then someone would have to clean it up."

Levi grins. He almost looks like a different person when he smiles. "If he's such an asshat, why do you put up with him?"

"I like Jean just fine, he's just loud." Armin changes lanes, careful to drive as innocuously as possible. "Not just with the music, either," Armin adds under his breath.

"You don't actually like this guy."

"I don't like the noise," Armin says. "He and my roommate are always either fighting, fucking, or high." It was better, Armin thought, than the previous rotating cast of men plucked from the internet that occupied Eren's life. At very least, he and Jean were consistent.

"You know what you sound like," Levi says.

"What?"

"You sound jealous."

"Shut up," Armin mutters.

There's a long moment of silence. Armin, what are you doing, he asks himself. You know nothing about this guy. For all you know, he was one of those kids who pulled the legs off of spiders at recess. You can count the number of times you've seen him smile on one hand.

But that devilish smile. Seeing it makes Armin feel like he's observing a rare phenomenon of nature, like the bamboo that blooms once every hundred years. He glances over, as subtly as he can, to see if it's still there.

"Eyes on the road, Arlert." Levi takes a long, slow sip of tea.

**

"You think this place is haunted?" Levi asks. He looks up at the abandoned church. The empty lots that flank it leave them exposed, but the street lights cast a long, dark shadow on the wild back lawn that gives them cover.

"If it wasn't, it is now." Armin kicks the wooden crate and the gesture makes Levi smile again. "Why? You believe in that stuff?"

"Tch. No," Levi says. He does.

They set to work. It's humid and the ground is soft, coming up in heaping chunks. They work in a stair-step fashion; rather than digging six feet deep at once, they do so in stages to climb out, with a lightweight bamboo ladder for the final step.

"So what about this one? How'd you find it?" Levi asks as they near the end. They climb out and reach for their water, overdue for a break.

"Uh...I tutor some kids that live not too far from here."

"You're a teacher?"

"Well...I tutor."

Levi wipes his forehead with the bandana tied around his wrist. "So is that what you're actually supposed to be doing?"

"What?"

"I mean instead of digging fucking graves," Levi says.

Armin just sighs and plants his shovel back in the dirt. "I don't know."

"What do you mean 'you don't know?'"

Armin says nothing.

Come on, Levi thinks. Talk to me. Show me what you've got. "Man, you can't even turn around without hitting a barista with a master's degree," Levi says, and Armin barely laughs. "Everyone has something they'd rather be doing."

"So what about you?"

"Tch. My job suits me just fine."

"You like doing this," Armin says.

"This is just the clean-up."

"You like killing people, then." Armin's voice is dry, tired from the work.

"I take some satisfaction in ridding the city of scum," Levi says.

"So that's how you see it." Disdain creeps into Armin's voice, and Levi likes it.

"It is."

"So you trust Erwin's judgment," Armin says.

"You don't?" Levi asks.

"I want to trust it."

"You ought to fucking trust it," Levi says. "He thinks you have promise." And so do I, Levi thinks. Now come on.

"You owe him something, don't you," Armin says.

"Yeah. My fucking life."

Armin rakes his fingers through his sweat-drenched hair and shakes his head.

"You're lucky, you know, to have someone like Erwin looking out for you." Levi scowls. "He practically runs this goddamn city. You have no idea how lucky you are."

Armin lets out a soft groan.

"Think about it, genius," Levi says. "Who the hell hires you for manual labor? He sees something in you, this is just the beginning." Levi's not above putting his compliments in Erwin's mouth. It isn't lying.

"Great. Good for me."

"So how do you see it?" Levi leans against his shovel and takes another swig of water.

"See what?"

"What we're doing here," Levi says.

"It's just a job." Armin sighs. "Guess I better go back for a master's degree before I can fucking serve coffee."

"Tch." Levi stifles a little laugh. "You didn't work in college?"

"I didn't have to," Armin says.

"So what's the problem?" Levi sneers. He throws his hands up. "You can't leech off your folks until you get a teaching job?"

"I—what?" Armin's eyes narrow. Levi's never seen him angry. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"I mean seriously, you spend that much time in school and you don't even fucking know what you rather be doing?"

Armin looks at the ground.

"'Cause I'd really love to know, how a kid as smart as you, who clearly comes from some kind of money, ends up digging graves for Erwin Smith."

"I told you I don't want to talk about it." Armin's voice is dark. "And will you stop calling me a kid—"

"'Cause it's clearly not just the economy," Levi says.

Armin scoffs. "Just drop it. Ok?"

Levi starts to chuckle. "What are you hiding?"

Armin glares at him.

"What did you do? That you can't even get your folks to bail you out?" Levi knows he's pushing it. But he loves things that are bitter and complex. He finds Armin's anger delicious.

"I didn't fucking do anything," Armin says. He drops his bottle of water and his eyes glaze over. "My parents can't help me, because I'm still paying for their fucking funeral."

Armin kicks Levi in the stomach and into the open grave. He pulls out the ladder and tosses it away.

The back of Levi's skull hits the edge of the pit. Then he falls forward. His teeth cut up the inside of his lips. He stands up and shakes the dirt off of his face, he tastes the blood in his mouth and smiles. He tries not to laugh.

"Armin, I'm sorry."

"You're not fucking sorry."

Then something hits the top of his head. A clump of dirt. Armin starts shoveling it back into the pit. Levi flings it out of his eyes.

"Armin, listen—" Another shovel-full of dirt hits him.

"No. I'm sick of listening to you—"

"Armin, I'm sorry. Ok? I am."

"You're sorry you're covered in dirt." He throws in another clump.

Levi stands still for a moment. Armin empties his water bottle onto Levi's head. Levi takes a deep breath. Ok, remain calm, he thinks.

"Armin, I was out of line. I apologize," Levi says. He speaks more softly, in a normal, conversational tone. "You were right. I should have dropped it." Levi squints but the next clump of dirt doesn't come. His eyes flutter open again. "Armin?" He hears a disgusted sigh from above. "Listen. I had no idea about your parents. I'm sorry. I should have left it alone." Levi spits the blood from his mouth. "Give me a hand out of here, will you?"

"Fine." Armin reaches down and Levi grabs his wrist. But Levi pulls hard, and Armin falls in on top of him, their bodies pressed up against the muddy wall. "Levi, what the fuck?"

Levi relaxes his grip on Armin's wrist, but he doesn't let go. Armin steps back, but he doesn't pull his hand away or try to fling Levi off of him. They stand in silence for a moment. It's pitch black in the grave. Levi can feel Armin's breath and the heat of his body.

"Erwin's right about you," Levi says. "It's a shame you don't see it." You have some bite to you, Levi thinks; I like that.

Armin says nothing. Levi feels how quick his pulse is. Is that from falling, Levi wonders, or from something else?

"How are we getting out of here," Armin says after a moment.

"I got it." Levi releases Armin and kicks his boot hard into the wall of dirt for leverage. He hoists himself out and reaches for Armin. "Can you jump?"

"Yeah."

Levi pulls him back up onto the ground. Armin's maybe five-foot-six on a good day, but he can't weigh more than about 120 pounds, Levi thinks.

Armin lifts up the edge of his shirt to wipe the sweat and dirt off his face. Levi doesn't even try not to look.

**

Light from the moon streams in through the holes in the roof of the dilapidated church. Armin sits with Levi on what used to be the frontmost pew. Their faces and hands are wiped clean, but their arms and necks are filthy from the grave. Armin drinks the rest of Levi's water; Levi drinks from his thermos of tea.

"It was a car wreck," Armin says about his parents.

"When did it happen?"

"February." Four months prior.

"Jesus," Levi says.

"I had to borrow the funeral money from my roommate, Eren."

"Nobody else could have helped you out?"

Armin sighs. "I have family downstate, but they're...um. Well. They run an evangelical homeschool co-op, if that gives you some idea of what kind of people they are."

"Fuck."

"Yeah. I didn't want to deal with them."

"No kidding." Levi stretches and cracks his knuckles. "I take it your folks left you nothing, then."

Armin shakes his head. "My dad had a gambling problem. I didn't know about it until he died. I don't think my mother ever knew about it."

"Tch."

I probably shouldn't tell him so much about it, Armin thinks. But he's barely talked to anyone about it, except for Eren and sometimes Mina, his only close friend from college. He still knows so few people in the city. He leans back and rests his arms along the back edge of the dusty pew. "I had no idea. I never would have guessed. He used to take us on these trips, he bought these nice cars for my mom..." Armin gazes up through the holes in the ceiling. "He lost everything in the recession. He never said a word about it." He contracts his body and rests his chin in his hands, propped against his knees. "They took out all my loans in my name without telling me."

"What the fuck?"

Armin nods morosely.

"Christ on a stick," Levi says.

There's a moment of quiet. The crickets have long since finished their performance and soon the early morning birds will start their calls. They walked in through a broken window. Light from the street pours in through the remains of the stained glass. The stone walls remain, but the roof has caved in in patches. It's almost romantic, Armin thinks.

"What are you drinking?" Armin asks.

"Try it." Levi hands him the thermos. Armin takes a sip from the other side. "It's called 'shincha,'" Levi says. "I just got it in. It's from the first tea harvest of the year."

"It's good," Armin says.

"You a tea drinker?"

Armin shrugs. "Not really."

Levi cracks a smile. Perhaps this is the dam, Armin thinks.

One of Levi's several burner phones buzzes. "Ah, fuck," he says.

"What happened?"

"There's no rooms left at the hotel. Shit."

"Wait, why?"

Levi squints at the little screen. "Ah. Pharmaceutical conference. Erwin gave them the group rate. Figures."

Armin looks confused.

Levi rolls his eyes. "Fuck-ton of pharmacists. Trust me, some of them are there on other business."

"Oh. Right."

"Well, whatever. We can change at my place. It's closer, anyway."

Armin takes a deep breath and reaches for the keys to the van. When they climb inside, Levi flips down the mirror on the passenger side and examines his teeth, still faintly pink.

"Sorry about your mouth," Armin says.

"No." Levi says. Armin flinches. "Never apologize." Levi shuts the mirror. "Never apologize when you know you're right."

Okay then, Armin thinks. He starts the van and plugs the auxiliary cable into his phone. A high, sparkly synth lead plays.

"Oh, come on," Levi says.

Armin looks at him, doe-eyed and innocent.

Levi tilts his head back. "Fine."


	5. Chapter 5

Armin doesn't recognize Levi's neighborhood. He parks the van as discreetly as he can on the quiet street and follows Levi through a heavy red wooden door in a row of narrow gray stone town houses. Levi lives on the ground floor.

A blast of air conditioning hits Armin's face. The relief is miraculous. He gingerly slides off his muddy boots and rests them next to Levi's on a long plastic tray by the door. He rolls up the cuffs of his work pants to keep them from touching the carpet and holds his bag of clean clothes away from his body. Levi's home feels like a temple Armin wouldn't dare defile.

A long hallway with a low ceiling bisects the immaculate apartment. The kitchen extends to one side, the small living room mirrors it. Mikasa's bare legs hang over the arm of the couch. She wears a long red satin robe and her face glows from the screen of her e-reader.

"You guys got exiled from the hotel, too, huh?" she says without looking up. When she does look up at them, her eyes widen. "You two look like death. What happened?"

Levi shrugs. "Digging." He turns to Armin. "You want something to drink?"

"I'm ok," Armin says.

Levi cocks an eyebrow.

"Uh...I'll have some water." Armin tries again.

Levi crosses his arms.

"I'll have whatever you're having," Armin says.

Levi simply stares.

Armin sighs. "I liked the tea you gave me earlier..."

Levi snaps his fingers and points at Armin. "Yes. Don't ask for things you don't actually want."

He opens a long, thin drawer from an apothecary chest built in to the kitchen where Armin expects to see typical cupboards. The brass handles gleam in the low light. Levi fills a teapot with the leaves and hot water, and the familiar grassy smell fills the room.

Armin glances around the apartment. A bookcase surrounding a TV screen occupies an entire living room wall. About a third of the books are in Japanese. Two shadow-boxed painted silk fans hang on an adjacent wall, next to a scroll depicting flying cranes. They look expensive and real, Armin thinks; not the flimsy knockoffs from the Chinatown gift shops, or even museum store replicas.

Levi hands Armin a small ceramic cup. Then he scowls at the floor. "I got to get this carpet steam-cleaned." Armin can see no discernible marks on it.

"Knock yourself out," Mikasa says. "I thought you were going to tear it out and put hard wood down instead."

"Mike ran out of the teak I want. The new stock he got in won't match."

"Suit yourself," Mikasa says. They sound more like siblings than lovers, Armin thinks, and it gives him hope. But Levi's demeanor is so dry with everyone that he can't entirely tell.

"You hungry?" Levi asks Armin.

He shakes his head. He is, but he has food waiting at Eren's that he needs to eat before it spoils.

"All right, well if I don't eat something I'm going to pass out," Levi says. "You want to shower first?"

"Yeah. That's fine." Armin sets his empty cup down on the counter.

"It's down the hall. Last door on the left."

The last door on the left has the beveled windows of an exterior door, but the glass has been sand-blasted to frost it. That's strange, Armin thinks. Then he notices that each of the doors in the hall are different. The one across from the bathroom has a Balinese-looking pattern carved into the wood. Another bears a knocker in the shape of an eagle. It's all reclaimed, Armin realizes. Is this another one of Levi's hobbies?

He peels off his dirty clothes and lays them in a plastic bag. The bathtub is made of a massive copper basin, covered in a rich green patina. Showering feels like a ceremony under the long glass lanterns that hang from the ceiling. Who are these people, Armin wonders.

He switches on the fan to clear the steam and wipes the mirror off with his towel. Perhaps it's his imagination, but his chest and arms look more toned lately from the hours of digging. He hasn't had the energy to exercise in months, and the need to eat seems to elude him. You look like a wraith, he tells himself; maybe you should have taken Levi up on the food. Starting his old training regimen from tennis again feels like a pipe dream. Let's start with getting out of bed at all, he thinks. You can't even get up in the mornings. You can barely get up in the afternoons to tutor.

Some days, depression pins him to his mattress. The crushing weight of it keeps him frozen until his body aches from dehydration or the need to relieve himself. He prays the condition is temporary, and not a golem that will step on his chest for the rest of his life. He'd be more terrified of the waves of numbness if he hadn't watched Eren succumb to them years before when his parents were shot. Eren eventually came back to life. Armin prays he will, too. He doesn't know how he rallies the energy to dig. He feels anxious around Levi; nervous and small. He feels longing and shame and burning curiosity. And tonight, a blaze of anger that overrode his judgment. But he does feel. Armin suddenly sees the appeal of a self-inflicted wound. Numbness, after all, is terrifying.

He towels off his hair and lets it hang in his face. He cracks a smile at his reflection. At very least, he's always liked his face, even if he looks younger than he wants to. Levi had been so cavalier about going shirtless that Armin wondered if he wanted the attention. Even covered in dirt, with blood in his mouth and wet, muddy hair, Armin found him disturbingly beautiful. He looked like something feral and demonic, something that might devour him. Armin loved it, and that scared him even more.

He slips on a clean pair of shorts. He reaches for his t-shirt and changes his mind about putting it on. He decides to let Levi see more of him. You've gotten so fucking scrawny, but if you want him to want you, you might as well let him see for himself. He puts on his white sweatshirt, but leaves it unzipped.

Levi has disappeared into his room when Armin steps into the hall. He walks back to the kitchen.

"There's more tea for you if you want it," Mikasa says. She points to the counter with her foot.

"Oh. Thanks." Armin pours himself another cup and sits down in a chair across from her. On the bottom shelf of the bookcase are textbooks and binders bearing the emblem of the city community colleges. Armin expects them to belong to Mikasa, but a few are labeled "L. Ackerman." At the very end of the shelf stands a thin volume: "Dysgraphia: A Handbook for Adults."

Armin looks at the scroll again. "That's really beautiful," he says.

"My grandmother painted it," Mikasa says, smiling.

"You're from Japan?"

"My mom is. I was born here. I try to go back every year, though."

"I've never been. I'd like to go one day," Armin says.

"You travel a lot?"

"Uh...not lately. I used to."

"Yeah? Where's the last place you went?" Mikasa asks.

"I studied abroad in St. Petersburg last year." Armin says.

"Huh. What was that like?"

"Uh...pretty, and cold."

Mikasa laughs. "Oh, yeah, now I remember. Levi said you spoke Russian."

So he told you about me, Armin thinks. What else did he tell you, Armin wonders.

"You're not Russian, though."

Armin shakes his head. "German and Danish."

"Yeah, I can see it," Mikasa says. "Levi's side of the family is Austrian."

"But you guys are both from here?" he asks.

"Yeah. He's my cousin," Mikasa says. "But I only met him a couple years ago."

Oh, thank god they're related, Armin thinks. "Really? How'd that happen?"

"Family grudge, you know how it goes."

"I...yes," Armin says. "I do know how that goes. I...have some family I wish I'd never met." He gazes at the wall, then turns back to Mikasa. "How did you meet?"

Mikasa chuckles. "We were both working for Erwin."

"Small world."

"Yeah. No kidding. That was three years ago. Levi had already been with Erwin for five."

Armin feels uneasy. Was he an assassin for that long? Or did Erwin have him doing other things? "How'd you start working for Erwin?" Armin is afraid to ask too many questions, but he never expected Mikasa to be so freely talkative.

"I met Annie," she says with a wistful smile.

Please tell me the two of them are not an item, Armin thinks. Each of them is terrifying enough on her own. Mikasa seems sincere and friendly when she talks, but Armin gets the sense she's doing him a favor. Her speech is so languid and smooth, her movement so unhurried and controlled. He senses she could tear him apart if she wanted to, if not with a weapon, with words.

He takes a hesitant sip of tea. "...What about Levi?"

Mikasa glances down the hall. The door to the bathroom clicks shut and the shower turns on. "He beat one of Erwin's guys in a prizefight. Erwin hired him on the spot." She gets up from the sofa and walks to the refrigerator. "Erwin will tell you he lost a shitload of money that night, but he got himself a right-hand man." She pulls out a pitcher and pours herself a glass of dark-red iced tea.

"What do you think of him?" Armin asks.

"Of Erwin?" Mikasa smiles and sits down with her glass. "Hm. Well, he lets me do what I want. He pays me on time. I get a mark, I get to do whatever I want to him." She nods. "So I like him." She tilts her head. "Why? You having your doubts?"

"I'm trying to make sure I haven't walked into the Hotel California of jobs."

"Oh, come on. It's not the same with you? Doesn't he leave all the details up to you?"

"Well...yeah," Armin says.

Mikasa gives him a sly smile. "Doesn't that make you feel useful?"

"I guess."

Mikasa chuckles. "You worried about the 'injustice of it all'?"

Armin looks at the floor.

"Don't," she says. "The cops here are so corrupt. The city is so corrupt."

"You sound like Levi," Armin says.

"That doesn't seem to bother you." She still has her Cheshire Cat smile.

Armin laughs awkwardly, skewered by her words.

Her tone gets warmer. "I've never seen him take on an accomplice."

"What?"

"Oh, yeah. Levi always works alone. Well, I say that. Most of the time. At least, he has since I've known him." She sips from her glass. "I guess a few years ago he had a squad he used to work with. A bunch of them died on a job, though. Since then, he only takes jobs on his own."

"I thought he was assigned to work with me."

Mikasa touches her fingertips to her mouth. "Oh. Is that what he told you?"

Armin looks at her. She looks back down the hall.

"I did think that was strange that they sent you to dig," Mikasa says, her face slightly flushed. "I thought you were just doing intel and driving. Usually Bert and Reiner work disposal. Well. Among other things." She sinks back into the couch and looks Armin over. "I can see why he picked you."

Armin feels heat radiating outward from the core of his body. His breathing gets shallow. He takes a sip of tea to soothe his tightening throat.

The bathroom door opens and Levi walks out, shirtless as expected. Time slows as he walks down the hall. The pink tone of his skin from the hot water makes Armin think of the oil portraits in the Hermitage.

"You going to be home tomorrow?" Levi checks his phone screen.

"Uh...yes. Until about three."

"Ok, good. Listen out for Sasha. She'll bring you your money again." Levi notices Armin drinking the tea. "You want some of that to take home?"

"Oh. Sure." Armin owns no tea-making implements.

Levi opens a different narrow drawer and pulls out a small black tin. He fills it with the fragrant, needle-like leaves and closes it. He hands it to Armin.

Armin feels Levi's eyes lingering on him for a second. "Thanks," he says.

"Don't use boiling water for it," Levi says. "Let it cool for a minute. And steep it in something ceramic. About three minutes."

Armin nods. He glances into the kitchen. "Every one of those drawers has tea in it, don't they?"

Levi smiles. "Absolutely." He re-steeps the leaves with fresh water. "You know the Ragako Tea House?"

"I haven't heard of it."

"I'm thinking of buying it," Levi says. "The couple that owns it is retiring soon. And I got my translator here for placing orders." He nods toward Mikasa. She gives a thumbs up without looking up from her e-reader.

So what's stopping you, Armin wonders. His stomach growls. "I should get going," he says.

Levi hands him a plastic bag. "Here. For your boots. I'll walk you out."

Mikasa's eyes follow them into the foyer.

"You got everything?" Levi asks as Armin gathers up his bag.

"Yeah." Armin laughs softly before he reaches for the door.

"What?"

"Somebody has to die soon, so I can come over for tea again."

There's nothing forced about Levi's low, sinister laugh. "In this city? You won't have to wait long." He bites his lip.

Levi's eyes bore into him. Armin fidgets. He notices a purple mark emerging on Levi's stomach.

"Shit," he says to the crescent-shaped bruise.

"Don't." Levi presses his hand to Armin's sternum. "If you apologize, I'm taking the tea back."

Armin hangs his head and laughs, his mouth inches from Levi's fingertips.

Levi draws back slowly. "It's a well-placed kick," he says. "It's good." He looks into Armin's eyes. "It means you're not a coward."

Armin blinks.

"Go get food. Go to sleep," Levi says as he ruffles Armin's hair.

"Right." Armin grins. "See you next time."

The door clicks shut behind him. Mikasa laughs at Levi when he walks back into the kitchen.

"Oh my god, Levi, he's like a little doll! He's like a bunny. I just want to pat his head."

"Tch."

"You just gave him thirty dollars worth of tea, didn't you?"

"It wasn't that expensive," Levi says. It was.

"I like him. You ought to keep him around. You really ought to be nicer to him, you know."

"Absolutely not." Levi sits down across from her with his tea.

Mikasa scoffs.

"There's no point in pursuing him if he can't handle the worst," Levi says.

"Tell me that's not how you actually think about it," Mikasa says.

"Oh, come off it, Mikasa. Your girlfriend's as much of a sadist as you are. There's nothing you can do in front of her that's going to phase her."

"So you're giving him the frozen chicken test," Mikasa says,

"The what?"

"When they build jet engines, they test them by firing frozen chickens at them out of a cannon."

Levi gives her a sidelong glance. "Sure."

There's a moment of silence.

"I still just think you ought to be nicer—"

"I'm not going to put on some act I can't keep up—"

"I don't mean lie about it," Mikasa says. "I just mean tell him what you really think about him."

Levi sinks deeper into his chair. "Yeah. Eventually."

"Man, come on, you gotta give him something."

"I gave him the tea," Levi says.

"Ok, that's a start. Does he actually like it, or did you just want him to have it?"

"Just let me deal with this, ok?" Levi rubs his temple.

"Don't scare him off," Mikasa says. "I'm serious, I really do like him. And you need more friends."

"Tch." Levi washes out the cup and places it in the drying rack. He walks into his room to lie down for an hour before he goes to meet Petra at the gym. They had met two months prior and became fast friends over their mutual love of calisthenics—once Petra realized Levi had been checking out her technique and not her body.

He stretches out on his bed and sets his alarm. Mikasa's words had stung, which he will never give her the satisfaction of knowing. He spends most of his free time alone, if not with Erwin and Mike. Occasionally Ilse, but her north side territory rarely overlaps with his. Even Mikasa injects a level of interaction he would normally deprive himself of. In the back of his mind runs his litany of guilt: you ruined your squad, you don't get to have a new one.

An accomplice is a compromise. Am I allowed to have that?

Levi thinks of the way Armin flushed when he touched him, and a smile creeps onto his face. He seems so oblivious to his own appeal. Or is he? So if you're not a coward, Levi thinks, then what kind of angel-faced monster are you? He runs his fingers over the bruise on his stomach.

After husky Mike and perfect, plastic Erwin, Levi realizes he craves novelty, not simply wanting to top more. Can something be refined without being fragile? Soft but not weak? He lifted Armin out of the ground so easily, and yet Armin's kick had knocked the wind out of him. It was perfect. It had given him a rush. These are the moments he misses the prizefighting circuit: the feeling of being truly matched. These days the closest he gets is clashing wits with bitchy Ymir and Annie.

Levi lets his mind wander. He imagines the sensation of Armin's body lying on his chest, slinky and lean. You little tease; you left your shirt off on purpose, didn't you, Levi thinks. Then Levi feels his insides churn. What happens if Armin passes all the tests? I've seen how you look at me. I've seen how you started talking back, Levi thinks. He sighs deeply.

But I have been known to break people. Poor prospects, for a doll.

**

Armin smells the skunky smoke before he even opens the door. Jesus, Eren; we talked about this, he thinks.

Eren and Jean lie draped over each other on the couch. Filmy smoke fills the living room.

"Oh my god," Eren creaks. "I would sell my soul for a bag of Flamin' Hot Cheetos right now."

"Hey," Jean says. "How was work?" His voice is slightly slurred.

Armin doesn't want to talk anyways, and especially not to them in this state. "Uh, it was fine."

"How's your manager?"

"...We've talked. It's better," Armin says.

"Right on." Jean nods slowly and raises his fist. Armin rolls his eyes.

He sets the tin of tea in the cupboard and immediately takes it back out. Shit, he thinks; if I leave it here, Eren will try to smoke it. He shoots an irritated glance at Eren. A few months ago he would willingly have made a Cheeto run out of gratitude. But this is getting ridiculous. They made an agreement to only smoke on the porch, and even that was only shisha. Now my clothes are going to reek of weed; I can't show up to tutor Marie Dach's kids smelling like your cheap fucking hash, Eren. Armin resolves to set an alarm to do an extra load of laundry before he leaves. He's in no place to tell Eren to get his shit together. But he still wishes Eren would. Then he notices the towel crammed underneath his bedroom door. He lets out a heavy sigh.

Armin retreats to his room and replaces the towel. The room is free from the engulfing smell of weed. He opens the narrow window near the ceiling and sets the tin of tea down on his desk, next to a carved stone rabbit Eren had given him when they were kids. He lays down on his bed. His wrist and his chest still crackle from where Levi touched him.

I want to see him again, Armin thinks. And not at work.

Armin, don't be an idiot, what are you thinking, he tells himself. The man is clearly dangerous. But he likes you, Armin thinks. He chose you. He sought you out. Armin wonders if there's a part of himself that doesn't mind the risk and privately wants to die, free of his debts forever.

He looks at the tin of tea and realizes he has nothing to make or serve it in. He draws his phone from his pocket and looks up the address of the Ragako Tea House.


	6. Chapter 6

“Oh my god, come on, Levi. Just try it.” Petra laughs.

“All right. Fine. You’re the gymnast here.” Levi gets on one knee on the mat in front of the floor-to-ceiling mirrors. Petra had been on her college’s gymnastics team.

“Ok, I have to step on your thigh to get up,” she says.

“Go for it. You’re light.”

Petra grips Levi’s hands and kicks herself up into a handstand. He never would have thought of acro-yoga. When he thinks of bodyweight exercises, it never occurred to him to lift someone else’s body.

“You got it?” he asks her.

“Yep.”

“All right, I’m gonna’ stand up.” Levi takes a deep breath and braces his arms so as not to change Petra’s position. She isn’t heavy, but it’s an interesting challenge for his muscles to maintain their balance. He rises slowly to his feet and the gym erupts in cheers.

“So…how we getting down?” Levi asks after a few moments.

“Let me fall, I got it.” Petra lands effortlessly on her feet and she and Levi both laugh. It’s clear to Levi that if she had been a man, she would have already broken his heart.

“So what do you think?” Petra asks.

Levi grins. “All right, that’s kind of fun.”

She nudges his ribs. “Of course it is.”

“You done for today?”

“Oh yeah,” she says, massaging her arms. “That was my last hurrah. For today anyway.” She picks up her bottle of water. “I’ve always wanted to try this kind of stuff,” she says. “Auruo was going to learn it with me before he passed away. That and aerials.”

Levi freezes. “I’m sorry, who?” Petra mentioned she had an ex who died. But she had never mentioned his name.

“Oh. Auruo. My partner from a few years back.”

Levi nods, silent. Auruo mentioned he had a girlfriend. He never told her about his real job to keep her safe. For that same reason, he never mentioned to Levi and the rest of the squad what her name was.

The last time Levi saw Auruo, he didn’t recognize him at first. The Titan gang leader’s bullet had fractured his skull. Levi arrived too late. He raked down the remaining Titans with the Doctor’s assault rifle. But the four other members of his squad were already dead.

“Levi? You ok?”

Levi snaps out of the trance. “Huh? Oh. I just remembered. I have to go in early to work.”

“Aw, I was going to see if you wanted to get coffee. What’s the matter, your new assistant still giving you trouble?”

“Yeah,” Levi says. “He’s a handful.”

“I’ll see you Thursday then?”

“Sounds perfect.” They give each other a sweaty hug and take off for their respective locker rooms. Levi turns on the shower and prays for the water to drown out the sounds he can’t stop himself from making.

**

Armin pulls his blue cashmere cardigan from the closet. It’s too warm for sweaters, but Marie keeps her house refrigerated, everything orderly and sterile as a museum. Perhaps no one will notice the hole forming under the arm. The last thing Armin wants is to invoke her pity.

He grabs his bag of books and climbs into his father’s Lexus: the one thing that didn’t get repossessed. This stupid fucking car, Armin thinks; at least you actually paid for it. Armin’s father bought it right before the recession. Everything since was an illusion. Armin lays the bag in the passenger seat, looks at the emblem of his private university on its side, and heaves a sigh. You did everything you could to convince everyone you were successful, didn’t you, he thinks. And now, I’m doing the same fucking thing. He’s been lying to Marie about his workload. Oh yes, he’s just so busy tutoring. She believes he has twice the clients he does. Armin ignores the feeling of rot in his stomach and pulls the car out of the driveway.

“Armin! Armin! Look!” Marie’s son Lucian scampers into the living room waving a piece of paper, red curls bouncing. “Look what I got on my math test!” A big green letter “B” adorns the paper.

“Hey, way to go!” Armin’s smile is genuine. The ten-year-old beams with pride and Armin feels relief that his method is working. The hour goes quickly with Lucian all alight with motivation.

Marie sends Armin off with a plate of homemade cookies wrapped in plastic and three twenty dollar bills in a monogrammed envelope. When Armin gets back to the car, he plants his forehead onto the edge of the steering wheel. What’s twenty-five hundred divided by sixty? Forty-something? He checks his text messages. There’s another tentative dig coming up in two nights.

“Give up on your Ivy League dreams for Lucian, Marie,” Armin says to himself. “He’s a sweet kid, you don’t need to cram school down his throat.” After all, Armin thinks, I worked my ass off for perfect grades for years, and now I get to lie about how great and important school is for sixty bucks an hour. Armin pictures Levi’s unusual apartment. It was not luxurious in a conventional sense, like the catalog-facsimile of the Dach residence, but it was clear that neither Ackerman was hurting for money.

He parks across the street from the Ragako Tea House. The door chimes softly when he opens it, and an old woman with a pleasant face ushers him into a dark wood booth. Innocuous music drifts through the space, blending with the sound of a large stone fountain that occupies an entire back wall and the sound of clicking keys from the other patrons’ laptops. Behind the counter stands a wall of neatly labeled jars. A rainbow of pots and accoutrements stands for sale on top of stacks of stenciled crates. The room reminds Armin of Levi and Mikasa’s apartment.   

The menu goes on for pages, to Armin’s astonishment. He doesn’t recognize a single entry until he turns to the page labeled “Russia.” He orders the Russian Caravan and the serene woman sets down a silver pot and a podstakannik with a dish of sugar cubes and lemon slices. The arrangement makes Armin smile. He shouldn’t spend money on frivolities, but his wallet is full for the first time in ages, and it finally feels good to get out of the house.

He reaches in his bag and pulls out his laptop, but he doesn’t open it. He should apply for jobs. Real ones. He knows he should. He sinks into the booth and clutches the mug of fragrant tea. He sees the high ceiling reflected in the surface of the liquid. But you don’t want another job, he tells himself. You want to keep driving for Levi. You like being an accomplice. Blissfully ignorant. You never wanted any of those other jobs. Even the seemingly hard ones feel beneath you, he thinks. Those other places don’t deserve you. Why waste your brilliance?

Armin fidgets in the seat. Don’t be so fucking entitled, he tells himself. So what if you’re smart. Everyone has to start somewhere. He looks at the staff behind the counter and wonders if he could ever be content working somewhere like the tea house. Erwin’s money is too easy and seductive. Your parents were liars and frauds, he says to himself. And now you are too. I guess that’s what it means to be an Arlert.

He lets the thought sink in when he hears a low, familiar laugh.

“So. What brings you here?” Levi sits across from him in the booth. He notices the spread of Russian tea. “Ah. Good choice.”

“I needed a pot for the tea you gave me,” Armin said. How obvious is it, he wonders, that I wanted to see you, too?

“You should have said so, I would have given you one.”

So the man likes to give gifts, Armin thinks. “What kind do you think I should get?”

Levi shrugs. “Get whatever kind you like. If you don’t like it, you won’t use it.”

Armin had expected the dam to break: a lecture on teapot selection.

The old woman gives Levi a hug when she reaches the table to take his order. For a moment, he almost looks normal. But he sinks heavily back into the booth.

“Something wrong?” Armin asks.

“Just tired.”

“Impossible.” Armin says. “I thought you were indefatigable.”

“Tch. I may be a superior human, but I am still, in fact, human.”

“That sounds like something a demon would say.” They hold eye contact for a moment and Levi chuckles silently.

“That’s an awful lot of books.” Levi eyes Armin’s tote bags.

“I tutor some kids that live near here.”

“I’m not keeping you from working, am I?” Levi asks. He seems to have no intention of getting up.

“Oh. No. I was just, uh…going to work on a few more job applications.”

“You tired of your current gig already?” Levi asks with a smirk.

Armin squints. “That’s a bit rich from a guy who wants to run a tea house.”

Levi smiles and contemplates Armin. “Yes, you caught me.”

“Does Erwin know you want to quit?”

“Quit?” Levi sits up straighter. “I never said anything about quitting. No, no, one should always have multiple streams of income,” he says as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“You would still work for Erwin even if you owned this place.”

“Of course,” Levi says. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“Does Erwin know about this place?”

“He does,” Levi says. “He offered to buy it.”

“But you didn’t let him.”

Levi smiles again. “No.” The woman sets down a cast iron pot in front of Levi and he pours an amber-colored stream into the tiny matching cup. Armin recognizes the smell of jasmine. “There are some things I have to do for myself.”

“So what’s stopping you?” Armin asks.

“Details.” Levi shrugs and sips his tea.

“You’re tired of being in his shadow, aren’t you,” Armin says. It’s a stretch, but he wants to see Levi’s reaction.

“That’s a rather cold way of putting it.”

“You’re trying awfully hard to sell me on Erwin. You and Mikasa both.”

Levi draws back in his seat, his eyes narrow. “I’m not trying to sell you on anything,” he says. “If you weren’t already sold, you wouldn’t be working for him. I’m trying to get you to see the truth.”

Armin looks at the table.

“The man has a vision, Armin,” Levi says. “It should be obvious to you by now that there are far more criminals in city hall than in all the state prisons combined.” Levi’s voice has a touch of venom. “They fail to run this city, so Erwin picks up the slack. He’s a very reliable man.”

Armin sips his tea and doesn’t look at Levi.

“Do you think I’m an unintelligent person?” Levi asks.

“I’m not answering that,” Armin says.

Levi cocks his head.

“That’s not a question, that’s a trap,” Armin says.

Levi laughs. “Answer the question, Armin.”

“Fine. I think you’re crafty and devious as hell, but not unintelligent, no.”

Levi looks satisfied. “You flatter me.”

“Oh my god, what are you trying to get me to say.”

“Nothing,” Levi says. “I’m just establishing that you don’t consider me an idiot.”

“Of course I don’t.”

“I had to work with a specialist for years to be able to read properly,” Levi says softly, examining his tea. “You don’t think of me as stupid, but for years, I certainly did.”

Armin feels nauseous and nervous. “Why are you telling me this?”

“What do you mean?”

“You only tell me things I need to know,” Armin says, starting to feel warm.

“I was under the impression you wanted to get to know me.” Levi pours himself another cup.

“What gave you that idea?” Armin says. He fights the corners of his mouth.

“Just a hunch,” Levi says.

“You get a lot of hunches.”

“Yes, it’s important to be intuitive. I might have struggled to read, but I don’t struggle to read people. Erwin picked up on that—“

“Wait,” Armin says.

Levi nods. “He paid for the specialist.” He laughs to himself. “I dropped out of school when I was fourteen,” Levi says. “And then that bastard made me go back.” He sighs. “But my point is this. It’s dreadfully easy…to lose sight of your own potential.” He meets Armin’s gaze. “It would be a dreadful shame…for you not to acknowledge yours.”

Armin tries to keep himself from squirming.

 “What do you do when you’re part of a system, and that system fails you?” Levi asks.

Armin sits quietly.

“You leave it,” Levi says. “You find a new one. Or you create one.” He swirls the little cup around. “What do you think it is you’re doing now?”

Armin shrugs. “Adapting. I guess.”

“Exactly.”

They sit in silence for a moment.

Armin smiles. “There’s something that’s been driving me crazy.”

“Oh?”

“Why can’t we just cremate all these bodies?” Armin asks.

Levi cackles. “Oh, isn’t that the million dollar question. Well, we used to have a funeral home connection. This was right before Erwin brought you on.”

“Seriously.”

Levi nods. “One day the owner’s son gets this big idea that he wants to try some blackmail. Wants more money in exchange for the use of the incinerator.”

“Oh god.”

“You remember the guy Annie didn’t manage to kill that first night?”

“Holy shit.”

Levi nods again.

“You can’t just get an incinerator?” Armin asks.

“Absolutely not,” Levi says. “The city watches that kind of thing like a hawk. You’ve got to get all kinds of licenses to get one. They let a lot of shit pass, but not something like that.”

“Fuck.” Armin plops a sugar cube into his glass. “What about like, a kiln? Like for pottery.”

Levi laughs cruelly. “No.”

“You’ve tried that.”

Levi shrugs.

“Jesus Christ.”

“It was a mess.”

“I figured,” Armin says. His phone buzzes on the table. He swipes it open. “Oh, god.”

“What?”

“Jean has a gig tonight. At Shiganshina.” Armin runs his hand through his hair and looks up at Levi. “You want to go?”

“Tch. Of course I want to go.”

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

Jean's gig doesn't start until 11, and the afternoon passes excruciatingly slowly. Levi leaves to pick something up from the Doctor, he won't say what, and Armin retreats home. Armin's tired, but he can't sleep. He puts together a lesson for the Reeves twins' tutoring session the next morning, but his concentration is scattered. He takes a superfluous shower.

I'm sick of living in this basement, Armin thinks. He would never bring Levi here. He'd be too embarrassed. He sits back against the tile and wonders what was behind the door with the eagle knocker in Levi's hallway. He thinks of the unusual smells of tea and incense. I have to get out of here, Armin thinks. I'm sorry, Eren. I don't want to do this anymore. This might be good enough for you. But it's not good enough for me. Armin hasn't told Eren that he's bringing Levi to Shiganshina. He doesn't want Eren to embarrass him.

When he gets out of the shower, he looks at himself again. God, I need to get laid, he tells himself. The last encounter he remembers was an awkward, unpleasant hook-up with another student in an apartment with sticky floors that smelled like rotten chicken. It seemed like a good idea on the way back from the bar. But whiskey dick had won the night, and the other guy had little interest in being friends. Armin walked home in the snow, bitter. He woke up the next morning to a message informing him he'd been chosen for a second round of interviews for a coveted internship. He called his parents to tell them. No one answered. He called again. Nothing. The next message he got was from the coroner's office.

In the underground clubs and bathhouses in Saint Petersburg, he felt like a star. He was a safe bet, a foreigner, going back to his faraway country where he would never be able to spill anyone's secrets. Through the vodka-fueled haze, he felt wanted. Wanted and sore. I need to get laid, and I need to be sober, he thinks. Sober. Shit. The last time he hooked up with anyone sober, he realizes, he was messing around with Eren in high school, before Dina appeared.

How on Earth, Armin wonders, can someone as morally twisted as Levi seem safer than some random man I could summon from my phone? But in Levi's mind, Armin realizes, he sees himself as doing the right thing. At least Levi lives by a code. Not a normal person's code, but a code nonetheless. Well, Armin thinks, better the devil you know.

**

Armin doesn't see Levi walk in. He sits at the bar, nursing the first of his drinks, when he notices someone sit down next to him. Levi wears a black military jacket with black details, braided piping woven around the buttons. There's a faint smell of the familiar incense on the jacket, and something new: a rich, earthy cologne. The cedar tone makes Armin think of the bathhouses. "So how'd it go?" Armin asks.

"How did what go?"

"Your audition to join the Black Parade." Armin quickly takes another sip of his drink.

Levi laughs and smiles mischievously at Armin. "One day," he says softly. "One day, they'll accept me." He glances at the cocktail menu. "I see your fake ID is still working for you."

Armin shakes his head. "Nice to see you too."

"What are you drinking?" Levi leans closer.

"Some cocktail Eren made up. I don't know what it's called."

Levi takes it from Armin's hand. He takes a sip and smacks the roof of his mouth. "This tastes like Smirnoff Ice with a shot of cough syrup. Let me guess, I bet this one glows in the dark." Levi holds it closer to the black light that lines the edge of the bar.

Armin snatches the glass back. "You know what, I happen to think it tastes pretty good."

"Hey," Levi shrugs, "Whatever it takes to get you where you want to be." He grins. "But tell your friend to stick to the basics."

"Tell him yourself, he's right here," Armin says. He slurps the drink loudly.

"Hey. What can I get you?" Eren asks. He looks Levi up and down.

"Uh, give me the Yamazaki, neat," Levi says, looking up from the whiskey section.

"You trying to impress me?" Armin asks.

"Tch. Like I need to try."

Armin scoffs.

"Oh. You guys know each other?" Eren says.

"Yeah," Armin says. "This is Levi. From Trost."

Levi shakes Eren's hand across the bar. Eren wears a wide grin and nods, looking at Armin, then looking at Levi. This goes on for several seconds longer than Armin expects. For fuck's sake, Eren, stop staring at him, Armin thinks. Eren leaves to go fetch Levi's whiskey.

"Your friend's not the sharpest knife in the drawer, is he," Levi says.

Armin groans, then looks at Levi. "Only I'm allowed to say that."

"Oh, are you, now?"

"Eren's been through some shit," Armin says with a sigh.

"He gets on your nerves."

"Endlessly," Armin says.

"Why do you put up with it?" Levi asks.

"Because he's helped me through all of _my_ shit." Armin runs his hand through his hair, he feels Levi's eyes on the side of his face. "You don't have any siblings, do you."

"No," Levi says.

"Did you ever wish you did? Like when you were a kid?" Armin asks.

Levi thinks for a moment. "At times. Yeah."

"Eren's basically the brother I never had." Armin shrugs. "Total space cadet. But at the end of the day I still love him."

Levi looks amused. "He seems to be in his element." Eren talks animatedly with a group of drunk girls at the other end of the bar.

"Yeah. He fucking loves it. He can talk to anyone. I don't know how he does it."

Levi laughs his low, predatory laugh. "You don't really like people, do you?" Armin looks at the floor. Levi reaches over and rubs Armin's back. "Don't worry. I don't either."

Armin looks up. "Wow, I never would have guessed." Levi's hand travels down to the small of Armin's back.

His phone buzzes. "I gotta take this one," Levi says. He gets up. "Save my seat." He winks at Armin. Armin shakes his head.

Eren comes back with the whiskey. "Hey, where'd Levi go?"

"Phone call," Armin says.

Eren nods. "Shit, Armin, you didn't tell me he was really hot."

"What? Yes I did."

"No you didn't," Eren says.

"I told you he looks like a gymnast."

"Oh. Yeah." Eren looks in the direction of the stairs and grins again. "He looks like a rockstar."

"Lay off, Eren, you already have your DJ," Armin says.

Eren's eyes widen. "Ooh, is this a date?"

"What? No."

Eren cocks his head. He pokes Armin in the shoulder.

"I showed him your text and he said he wanted to come."

Eren nods slowly. "It's a date."

Eren, shut up, Armin thinks. He'd be jealous of fit, social butterfly Eren if he thought Levi would be able to stand to be around him for more than a few minutes. Eren goes to take another order and Armin sips his drink.

Levi walks back down the stairs and weaves through the growing crowd to claim his whiskey. "Change of plans tomorrow night," he says.

"Am I allowed to ask?"

"Tch. Yes," Levi says. "This job's not at the hotel. It's at the docks."

"And?" Armin leans back on his stool.

"Our mark thinks he's buying six kilos of coke off of Ymir," Levi says. "That's the story, anyway." Levi tastes the whiskey. "This one might get messy."

Armin sits still.

"Don't worry, I only need you to drive and dig. I'm back-up on this one. Ymir's got the hard part."

Eren passes in front of them.

"Hey. Eren," Levi says over the noise. He nods in Armin's direction. "What do you call this fine potion you made for Armin?"

"Oh," Eren says. He looks at Armin for a moment. "I call it a...Moscow Unicorn."

Armin looks betrayed. "If I knew you called it that, I would never have ordered it."

"But I made it up for you," Eren says, guilelessly. "I was going to put a sparkler in it, but we ran out."

"What's in it?" Levi asks.

"Oh, uh...ginger beer, lemon....uh, Absolut Pineapple, UV Cake..."

Armin sinks his face into his hand.

Levi rubs his back again. "You planning on waking up tomorrow?"

"Oh, trust me," Armin says.

Levi points to Armin. "I think he needs another one of those."

"Yeah, no problem." Eren takes the empty glass and sets to work making Armin another drink.

Armin sits up and crosses his arms. "Thanks."

Levi shrugs and takes another sip of whiskey. "Just looking out for you."

"I'm honored."

Jean walks up to the DJ booth and plants two USB sticks in the gleaming digital decks. He plugs in his headphones and cues up his first track, still audible only to him.

Levi nods toward the wall adjacent to Jean. "This place is going to start filling up, you want to grab a booth?"

"Sure." Armin grabs his new drink and follows Levi to the cushioned benches, divided by geometric wooden screens. Jean brings the music up and Levi's face peels into a smile. He sits down next to Armin, closer than they could have gotten on the bar stools. Armin feels suddenly grateful for the arctic air conditioning. More people start descending the stairs and making their way to the floor, still talking and drinking, warming up. Levi sneaks his arm around Armin's waist, and Armin tries not to look surprised or too excited.

"All right, I'm waiting for your friend here to impress me," Levi says into Armin's ear.

Armin shivers. It's one good thing about the volume, he thinks: the need to get close to be heard. A club is only a lousy place to talk if you don't want to constantly touch the person you're talking to. He leans into Levi. "Well it sounds a lot better on a proper speaker system than in that shitty van."

Levi laughs softly and turns toward Armin, their faces almost touching. He sets his whiskey on the low table in front of them. He tilts Armin's chin up and kisses him.

Armin pulls back for a second, his eyes shut, his body tense.

"That drink tastes better on you," Levi says. He pulls Armin closer to him and lets his other hand wind through Armin's hair. Armin puts his drink down and looks at Levi's face up close. There's no malice, no mockery. Just a kind of soft admiration. He puts his hand on Levi's hip and Levi kisses him again. Armin lets himself relax into it. He reaches for the back of Levi's neck.

The music gets louder, the crowd gets denser. The effect of the bass is as palpable as the alcohol to Armin. Levi kisses like someone with plenty of experience, but he takes his time, completely unhurried. Armin feels himself sinking, into a deep state where no feeling of worthlessness can reach him.

**

Levi has two uncommonly beautiful men at his disposal. But it's been a long time since he's held someone lighter than he is. The people around them are indifferent to their presence, too preoccupied with each other to notice the two men. Levi pulls Armin into his lap, he finds the edge of Armin's shirt and slides his hands slowly beneath it, drinking in the heat of Armin's skin. Armin drapes his arms around Levi's shoulders. So this shy, nervous kid has a decadent side, Levi thinks. Lucky me.

Levi holds Armin's waist and kisses his neck. "Do you want to dance?" he half-whispers into Armin's ear.

"Not really," Armin says.

"Why not," Levi says.

"I'm still waiting for critical mass."

"There are plenty of people in this bar, Armin." Levi looks over Armin's shoulder and laughs. "What do you have to hide? You're the best-looking person in here."

Armin rests his forehead on Levi's shoulder.

"What, you don't like being the center of attention?" Levi asks. He strokes Armin's hair and the back of his neck.

"Maybe one person at a time," Armin says.

"Dance with me," Levi says.

"I really don't want to dance."

Levi's nose brushes Armin's face. "Ok, then kiss me standing up."

"Fine," Armin says.

"Fine?" Levi draws back.

"I mean—"

Levi laughs. "Come here," he says. They weave their way into the mass of people. Their second and third drinks stand empty on the table, Levi's jacket long since folded up in the corner. It's crowded enough that the servers have quit circulating. A haze of dry ice smoke drifts a few inches above the floor.

The two of them are roughly the same height. Levi won't admit that he chose shoes with especially thick soles. It's nice, he thinks, not to have to crane his neck up. The people dancing around them start to close in on them. It doesn't matter. The floor gives him a shameless excuse to press himself into Armin.

"You want another drink?" Levi asks.

"I don't know," Armin says.

Levi gives Armin's waist a squeeze.

"Yes," Armin says to the floor.

Levi pulls his jacket from the newly occupied booth and reaches for Armin's wrist, pulling him through the crowd toward the bar. Jean's doing well, Levi thinks. The dance floor and booths are crowded, but a few spaces remain at the bar. Levi leans over and looks for Eren.

"I would never date a DJ," Armin says, glancing back at the booth.

"You don't like the night shift?"

Armin shakes his head. "Just all the waiting around. And the same stuff over and over. I don't even know why Eren bothers."

"Well, give your friend some credit," Levi says. "Who knows, maybe to him, he's worth waiting around for." He looks at Armin. "Have you considered that the things that make you happy don't necessarily make other people happy, and vice versa?"

"Yeah," Armin says. "It's occurred to me."

Levi puts his arm around Armin's shoulders and feels him relax. Eren is still busy at the other end of the bar. "I can see why Erwin's never hired him for anything else, though."

"Oh, god. Don't even joke about that. That would be a whole new dimension of fucked up," Armin says. "Anyways, it's nice to see you outside work for once."

"It's nice to see you relax for once," Levi says. But the words make Armin bristle. Dumb mistake, Levi, he tells himself. The best way to make an uptight person more anxious is to tell them how uptight they are. But even Levi is not immune to the artificial gravity of alcohol.

"Yeah, well, it helps to see you without a gun for once," Armin says.

"That really bothers you. More than anything else we do. Doesn't it."

"Yeah. It does."

There's a moment of silence between them. Levi lightly strokes Armin's back. He wants to ask. He doesn't.

After a minute, Armin talks softly, difficult to hear among the noise. "When Eren and I were in high school...his dad's ex-wife shot both his parents. Then herself. She had some kind of psychotic break. We never even knew Eren's dad was married before. We saw it happen...but she didn't see us. I thought we were both going to die."

Levi rests one hand on Armin's back, then rests his face in other. "Oh my god. Armin. I wish I had known."

"Like I could have told you that."

"What? No, I don't mean—" Levi sighs. "No. Of course you couldn't. I just mean I wish I could have known. That's all. I might have done some things differently."

"I know," Armin says.

"I'm sorry. I'm zero for two on the traumatic incidents, aren't I."

Armin slumps over on his bar stool, distant. "I guess you see this kind of thing all the time."

"What?" Levi pulls back and shakes his head. "You mean people dying that aren't supposed to?" He looks around the bar. "Of course I have," he says, almost whispering to Armin. "More times than I wish I had, yeah. But not all the time, no. No, no one ever gets used to that. No one ever gets used to seeing that."

"On second thought I'm not sure I want another drink."

Levi reaches for Armin again. "Come back with me."

"What?"

"Come back with me, to my apartment. And either talk, or just...sleep. It doesn't matter."

"Shit, what time is it?" Armin pulls his phone from his back pocket. He doesn't wear a watch. Levi notices he hasn't taken out the little device all night. "Fuck. I have to go," Armin says.

"Why?"

"I have to teach in the morning."

Levi nods to Eren. "You sure your roommate and his noisy boyfriend aren't going to keep you up for the rest of the night?"

Armin rolls his eyes. "It's late. I need to go."

"If you had to work early, then why did you come out tonight?"

Armin looks at the floor, then up at Levi. A smile creeps onto his face. "Why do you think." He grabs the front of Levi's shirt collar and kisses him.

**

Levi looks up at the city lights from the back seat of the car that drives him home. That was it, he thinks; that was the last of the tests. I went full out. You passed.

Levi runs his hand through his hair. He sinks into the pain of wanting someone more than he has since he can even remember.


	8. Chapter 8

When Armin arrives at the Reeves residence, his body feels like it's made out of lead. But as soon as it's time to sit down and start teaching, he finds a whole new reserve of energy. Amazing, he thinks; as soon as you have to impress an adult who has money, it's like you suddenly gain super powers. Who did you get them from, he wonders. Your gossipy, backstabbing mom, or your con-artist dad?

Dimo Reeves asks him about helping his older son, Flegel, prepare for his college entrance exams. Armin feigns enthusiasm for the idea. Reeves writes him a check and Armin retreats to his car. The illusion of success is so addictive. He opens his thermos. After the hour session, the tea he made is the perfect temperature to drink. 

When he gets home, he pulls a single envelope from the mailbox. It's properly addressed to him, and it has a stamp, but there's no postmark. Sasha must have dropped this off while I was out, he thinks. He slices it open. There’s a small, hand-drawn map and a set of instructions written in a sharp cursive so precise it looks like a typeface. Armin squints. Is this Levi’s handwriting? Is this what he spent so many years perfecting?

Armin sets two alarms, one on his phone, one on the analog alarm clock on his desk. No matter what happens, he’s not going to be late for this. 

**

Levi takes his rifle from its case, which he leaves in Historia’s car. Historia will wait to pick up Ymir. Armin will get Levi and the body from the other side of the complex.

“You got it?” she asks him.

“Yeah. I’ll see you later.”

She waves and drives off. Levi finds the narrow metal rungs that lead up to the roof of the warehouse, opens a service door, and climbs silently onto the dark mezzanine overlooking the huge, expansive floor. Now he waits. He has ample practice waiting.

He hasn’t been in this warehouse in years. The last time he was here, he was with the Doctor, and it was Ilse acting as sniper, guarding their perimeter. 

The only time he’s ever tortured anyone. 

Levi stood dressed in solid black, the way he is now. The Doctor wore her white lab coat as always, spattered with their victim’s blood. They had steadily deprived him of fingernails, teeth, and had taken the first of his eyes. Levi planned to kill him from the start. He had not mentioned this to Hange.

The man begged them to stop, his mouth a fountain of blood. They had not. Levi heard the screaming pleas over and over again and felt nothing. Hange cackled, enjoying herself, working her art. Levi felt nothing. Not disgust, not pity, not the satisfaction of taking out a mark. Just numbness. So, he told himself. This is the kind of monster you are. 

“He’s not going to tell you anything he hasn’t already told you,” Levi said. 

“Aw, are you sure? Are you positive?” Even with her goggles and surgical mask obscuring her face, Hange looked like a child about to have her favorite toy taken away. 

“I’m positive.” Levi took off his dark glasses and pulled his bandana down from his face.

“Why are you doing that?” 

“Because this one’s never going to talk again.” Levi pulled his gun from his holster, looked the bleeding man straight in the face, and shot him. 

Hange hung her ponytailed head in mock despair. “I wasn’t done with him.”

“You were done with him an hour ago,” Levi said. 

This one, they didn’t bury. This one they left on the doorstep of the gang leader’s house as a warning. 

Levi said nothing to Erwin about that night. But after that, he was never given work at the docks again, and only met with Hange to pick up weapons. He never asked Hange what she told Erwin. 

Levi listens as Ymir walks in with her mark. The man came prepared, but she wrings his gun out of his hands. Ymir is fast, but from Levi’s vantage point, he stands nearly a head taller. Bad news. She gives him Annie’s sweeping kick to the shins and he hits the floor. But it only buys her a second. 

“Light! I need light down here!” she screams. The code word. She kicks the man in the face as he tries to get up.

The last thing the man sees is the light of Levi’s laser scope rising up his chest. He runs after Ymir. First shot misses. Second shot hits him right between the eyes. He drops to the ground in a dark, spreading pool. 

Levi climbs down from the mezzanine. “Nice kicks,” he says.

“Nice shot.” She’s out of breath.

“Did he buy it?” Levi asks.

“Up to a point,” she says, still heaving. She leans against a tall crate. “You saw his gun. I didn’t see any back-up. But that doesn’t mean they’re not there.”

 

**

Levi warned him there might be gunshots. Knowing in advance makes it easier, Armin thinks. But then he hears two in quick succession from the dark building next to him, and his body feels cold. A shiver runs through him.

Armin, stick to the plan.

The little map is damp with sweat from his hand. Armin parks the van, keys in the code to the side door, and slips inside. Ymir and Levi stand over the body.

“All right,” she says. “I’m out. Thanks for the cover.”

“Any time,” Levi says. 

She disappears into the shadows at the opposite end of the warehouse.

Levi and Armin wrap the body in a tarp. They cover the bloody ground in a mixture of ammonia and sawdust to be swept up later. They drag the body through the door. Then Levi freezes.

“Why are the lights on?” he turns to Armin.

“What?”

“On the van.” Levi’s eyes are wide. “Why did you leave the lights on?”

Two bright columns shine down the narrow alleyway, and Levi hears another car approaching.

“Get in the van.”

Armin stands still. 

“Armin, get in the van.”

The car pulls into view across from them. In any other moment, Levi would wait. But he knows that red Pontiac Trans Am anywhere. He pulls his handgun from its holder and fires, again and again. The car hits the corner of the building before it can turn into the alley to face them. Levi wrenches open the driver side door and the gaunt blonde driver falls out, her hair already soaking up the blood that pours from her shoulder.

“Traute Fucking Carven,” Levi says, standing over her. “Aren’t you the last person on this fucked up Earth I wanted to see.” He steps on her clavicle and points the gun at her.

She laughs a hoarse, liquid laugh. “Like I would give you…the satisfaction…” She points her own gun beneath her chin and fires.

“Fuck,” Levi mutters. “Armin, call Historia,” he says.

But Armin can’t move, paralyzed against the side of the van.

“Armin?” Levi replaces his gun. He opens the passenger door to the van. “Armin, get inside.” He grabs Armin’s shoulders. “Armin, can you hear me? Can you move?” Armin doesn’t speak. Levi guides him into the van. “You’re going to wait for me here, ok? You’re ok. There’s no more of them. We’re going to call Historia and we’re going to leave, ok?”

Levi shuts off the lights to Traute’s dented up car, shuts off the lights to the van, and draws a burner phone from his pocket. He keeps his arm around Armin’s shoulder and keeps narrating. He remembers what it’s like to have a panic attack, to believe that you’re dying. The last time it happened to him, Kenny had gone on a rampage, withdrawal symptoms raging, waiting for Traute to arrive with his supply of pills.

 

**

“No way. No fucking way.” It was Ymir who picked up the phone. “I did my part, you do yours. I’m done. I’m going home.”

“Armin can’t drive,” Levi says.

“Why not?”

“He’s injured,” Levi says. It’s close enough and all they need to know.

“Shit. Is he ok?” 

“He will be, but he can’t drive or dig.” 

“Ugh. Jesus. Fine, we’re coming,” Ymir says. “How did they find you?”

“Must have heard us,” Levi says. He won’t mention the lights. He waits with Armin in near total darkness. “Right place at the right time.”

“Motherfucker.”

“You’re gonna’ have to fridge them,” Levi says about the dual corpses. The industrial freezers in the basement of the hotel are their last-ditch resting place.

“Are you kidding me? Lynne’s gonna’ kill me!” The kitchen manager was less than pleased with this improvised use of her space.

“Tell her it’s my fault,” Levi says. “I don’t care what you tell her.”

“No. No way. We bring her one, at most,” Ymir says.

“Then what do we do with the other one?” Levi keeps stroking Armin’s back, trying to keep him in reality. 

“Shove it in the trunk, lock it, push the car into the water.”

**

Ymir and Levi push Traute’s car off the dock while Historia drags the tarp-covered body into the back of her little silver Mercedes. 

“We have to get out of here, now,” Historia says. “Somebody will have heard your shots.”

“Ok, we’re out.” Levi starts the van.

“You owe me one,” Ymir says.

“No I don’t, this shit happens all the time,” Levi says. “Get Gelgar to detail your car,” he says to Historia.

Levi navigates the van out of the dark complex and prays that no one sees or follows them. When they get onto the highway, he starts to panic a little bit himself.

“Armin? You ok?” He drives with one hand and strokes Armin’s hair with the other. Armin leans against the dashboard, his head on his arms. “Hey, you’re going to be fine,” Levi says. “We’re out of there, it’s over, no one saw us.”

“Stop the van,” Armin says, his voice a faint creak.

“You ok?”

“No, stop the van.”

Levi pulls over and switches the headlights back off. Armin stumbles out and vomits. Levi climbs out and crouches next to Armin by the side of the road until he can’t vomit any more. He helps him back into the van.

**

The service entrance to the hotel is quiet. Levi looks around, but no one is out smoking cigarettes or talking on their phones. Good. No one to ask questions. He parks the van and slings his and Armin’s bags over his shoulder. “You ok to walk?” he asks.

“I think so.” But it’s a slow, tremulous walk from the garage to the room at the back of the first floor of the hotel. Armin kicks off his clean boots, pulls off his shirt and his work pants, and collapses onto the bed.

“I’m going to shower,” Levi says, the metallic smell of blood still clinging to him. “You ok to be alone for a few minutes.?”

“Yeah. I’m fine,” Armin says. Levi slips into the bathroom and Armin pulls down the covers. He slides underneath them and buries his face in a pillow. When Levi fired at Traute, he felt like he was dying. Now that his awareness is coming back to him, he feels like he wants to die.   
The headlights. The stupid fucking headlights. How could I forget? Armin clutches the pillow harder.

Armin sat with Eren on the Jaegers’ deck when they heard the gunshots. Armin was lost in a book, and Eren played a video game on a handheld console. The sliding glass door was open, the screen remained shut. The late afternoon sun filtered through the trees and surrounded them with spears of yellow light. Then Dina appeared. 

They stood frozen against the exterior wall of the house, praying not to be seen, paralyzed with panic. Armin turned his head slowly. The sun hit the thin wire of the screen at just such an angle to make it appear opaque. From the front of the house, it wasn’t obvious that there was a deck attached to the back. Through a sliver of shade from the blinds, he saw Dina walk up from the basement. Was she looking for Eren? For Armin? Maniacal laughter. Then one last shot. 

Some force within Armin prompted him to run. He grabbed Eren’s wrist and tore down the back stairs to the neighbor’s house, to their high school gym teacher, Coach Hannes. 

Where was that force tonight? Where, when Armin needed it again? I fucked it up, he thinks. I fucked it up and I could have gotten us killed. Armin shivers, even under the heat of the down duvet. 

He doesn’t see Levi walk out, shirtless as usual, his damp hair in little pointed strings. Instead he feels the pressure on the mattress when Levi sits down on the other side. Levi’s hand finds the back of his neck.

“I’m going to order food, you want anything?” Levi asks.

Armin shakes his head, still mashed into the pillow. 

“Armin, you should eat something. It’ll help.”

“Ok, then I’ll have whatever you’re having. I don’t care what it is.” Armin rolls over onto his back, but he doesn’t open his eyes. The retort he expects doesn’t come. 

Levi gets off the phone with room service and lies down next to him.

“I’m sorry,” Armin whispers, cogent, but nauseated.

Levi sighs. “About the lights?”

“Yes.”

Levi turns onto his side, facing Armin. He brushes Armin’s hair out of his face and rests his arm on Armin’s chest. “So you made a mistake,” Levi says. “It happens.” Armin’s breathing is still tense and strained. Levi rubs his chest in slow circles. “Try to relax.” He sees Armin’s closed eyes are red and fighting tears. “Armin. It happens. Just rest. Ok? The job’s over. We’re done until next time.” 

Armin takes a deep breath and his eyes flutter open. Levi pulls Armin’s body up against him, and Armin tucks his head into Levi’s chest. They lie in each other’s arms until the food arrives. 

**

Armin sits on the edge of the bed with a glass of orange juice. “What’s going to happen now?”

“Well, you’re not probably not getting fired. But you won’t get paid until the body’s gone,” Levi says. “If Ymir’s feeling generous, she’ll take half your commission and give you the other half once we bury the guy in the freezer.”

“It’s fine,” Armin says. “That’s fair.”

Levi looks at him. He takes the pitcher of orange juice and tops off Armin’s glass. “You need to eat something. Especially after you threw up so much.”

Armin pulls a croissant from a silver bucket lined with a linen napkin. He eats slowly and looks at the floor.

“Armin, everyone makes mistakes, this stuff happens.”

“I’m sorry. I got nervous. I heard you shoot at that guy and I—“

“Armin, I know. It happens. Annie made a mistake a few weeks ago, remember? She thought that guy was dead and he wasn’t. You’ve never met the Doctor, but I had to abort a job with Mike once because she gave us the wrong ammunition and we had guns we couldn’t fire. And she’s supposed to be an expert. She got labels mixed up. Then there’s Ilse, who only works north side because she botched a south side job once and people recognize her. I mean it when I say these things happen.”

Armin sets the glass back on the cart and lies back on the bed with his feet still on the ground. 

“You don’t even know what kind of mistakes I’ve made,” Levi says.

“I didn’t think you made mistakes,” Armin says. He shuts his eyes again.

“Four people are dead because of me,” Levi says.

“There’s no way it’s only four,” Armin says with a faint laugh.

“I mean four of Erwin’s.”

The half-smile disappears from Armin’s face.

“He doesn’t know it’s because of me, either. I never told him.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Armin squints.

“Because I thought you should know,” Levi says. He takes the bag out of his tea and begins to drink it. He gazes into the dark TV screen. “I missed an exit. I misread a sign and I missed an exit. Bad one to miss, the next one wasn’t for a few more miles. I drove fast trying to get there, I got pulled over. I got stuck. They searched my car. I had my rifle hidden underneath, otherwise I would have gotten arrested. When I got there, my whole squad was dead. I shot six people that night.” Levi puts his tea cup back on the cart and lies down next to Armin. He looks at the ceiling. “Erwin never asked me what happened. So I never told him. To this day, he’s never asked me.” 

Armin doesn’t say anything. Erwin had kept Levi on, in spite of it all. 

“If you ever wondered why I always make you drive, it’s because of that,” Levi said. 

Armin sits up again. He draws his knees to his chest. “How did you keep on working?” he asks, his voice soft. “After all of that…”

Levi sighs. He pauses for a long time. “They were…friends of mine. But they were co-workers first. They knew what they were getting into when they chose their jobs. Nobody put them up to this.” But the explanation feels flimsy even to him. “Since then I almost always work alone. For what it’s worth, the gang that killed my squad is gone—“

“You took them out.”

“Erwin doesn’t know that, either.”

“What other secrets do you keep from Erwin?” Armin pulls a Danish from the basket, his appetite finally returning.

“Only those,” Levi says. He looks at Armin. “Maybe that’s a mistake, too.”

“I don’t know,” Armin says. 

They finish off the rest of the food. Levi leaves the cart in the hall. He puts the “do not disturb” sign on the door and latches it. 

Armin brushes his teeth, then climbs back in bed. Levi brushes his own and joins him. He switches off the light on the nightstand. The light from the street glows orange through the windows.

“That woman from tonight…you knew who she was?” Armin whispers, his memory hazy. He remembers a red car, a blood-covered blonde figure laughing, more gun shots. But the details are blurry.

“Yeah. I didn’t think she worked for these guys. But I know her. She was a drug dealer. She used to be my uncle’s dealer.” 

Levi’s hands find Armin’s waist in the dark. Levi draws him close again, but he’s still tense.

“Do you think some people just deserve to die?” Armin asks.

Levi sighs. “Yeah,” he says. “I do.” He runs his fingers through Armin’s hair. “And I think you do, too.”

“Why?” Armin asks. “What makes them deserve it?”

Levi runs his hands down Armin’s back. “They know better. They know what they do hurts people and they do it anyway. They have no remorse.”

“Then what about you? Do you think you deserve to die?” Armin’s eyelashes graze Levi’s cheek.

“No,” Levi says after a moment.

“Why not?”

“Because I can still be useful,” Levi says. “I hurt people who ask for it. They either step into a ring with me, or they hurt someone who doesn’t deserve it and they know it.”

“Doesn’t Erwin hurt people with what he sells?” His escorts are all over 18 and paid, but he has a thriving weapons business with the Doctor, and moves huge amounts of drugs through his hotel and bars. 

“What people do with the things they buy from Erwin is none of my business,” Levi says. 

“What would you do,” Armin asks, “if I really messed something up? Or if I did something you really didn’t agree with?”

Levi rests his hand on Armin’s hip. “Armin, why are you asking me all this right now?”

Armin says nothing.

“Armin…if you need to quit, then quit. Talk to Erwin. Work out an arrangement, work at Trost or something—“

“I don’t want to quit,” Armin whispers. “I like working with you.”

This time Levi is quiet for a moment. “If you were doing the same thing with someone else, would you still do it? Not quit, I mean.”

“Yeah,” Armin says. “I would. For the money. I would probably keep going.”

Levi touches Armin’s face; he runs his thumb gently along Armin’s cheekbone and jawline.

“Do you know what my favorite animal is?” Levi says.

“No. What?” 

“A spider,” Levi says. “People hate spiders, but spiders are useful. They kill all kinds of things that are worse. They kill mosquitoes.”

Armin laughs faintly. 

“If I’m going to be something vile, then at least I choose to be a spider and not a mosquito.”

“Have you ever read Goethe’s Faust?” Armin asks.

“Tch. No, I can’t say I ever got that far.”

“There’s a line where Faust meets the devil, and he asks who he is. And the devil says, ‘I’m a part of that which forever wills evil, and forever works for good.’”

“That’s interesting. I like that,” Levi says.

“There’s this Solzhenitsyn quote,” Armin says, “I can’t remember it exactly. But it’s about how the line between good and evil cuts through every single person.”

“You’re awfully literary this evening for someone who’s coming down from a panic attack.”

Armin presses his whole body into Levi. “I’m going to keep telling myself whatever I have to to convince myself you’re good,” he says.

“Fine, as long as you decide for yourself,” Levi says. “If you ever change your mind about that, then you really should quit. I mean it.”

Armin nods. 

“Don’t quit,” Levi whispers. “I need an accomplice.”

Armin smiles. His phone goes off on the night table. He rolls over to pick it up. Texts from Eren asking where he is, if he’s coming back to the apartment. 

“What’s the matter?” Levi asks.

“Eren wants to know where I am,” Armin says. “I told him I’m staying over at your place.”

Levi’s smile is bright in the low light, like the Cheshire Cat’s. “Are you working tomorrow?” he asks. 

“No,” Armin says. He lies back down and Levi draws himself up next to him again. 

“Then stay over with me. Here, I mean. In the morning.”

“I’d like that,” Armin says. He tilts his chin up and kisses Levi, slow and decadent. 

Levi tightens his grip on Armin. “Get some sleep.”

Armin rests in the cage of Levi’s arms until sleep claims him.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick update since I haven't gotten to update in a while. More smut and the rest of the plot picks up next chapter. Also, I am the worst at replying to comments in any kind of timely fashion, but I do appreciate them! It helps so much to know what's working and what's not, and what you guys want to see more of.

Armin stands naked in front of the window and watches the rain fall under the orange lights in the empty alley. The dirty city gets a bath. Levi lies motionless in bed. It would have been funny, even endearing, if Levi snored, or unwittingly made a nest of blankets in his sleep. Or even talked a little, or farted. But he lies like a statue, silent. Armin still feels the waves of phantom pressure from Levi's heavy arms around his body. 

He's used to going home with people. But he isn't used to staying. Earning Levi's approval has taken more from him than he knew he had to give. So what does it take, he wonders, to lose it? 

Levi stirs, and noticing an empty space next to him, looks toward the bathroom. Seeing the lights off, he looks to the window. "You all right?" 

"Yeah," Armin says. "I just...woke up. I didn't think it was going to rain."

"It's raining?" 

"Yeah."

"Good." Levi yawns and stretches. "That'll wash away some of the evidence." It's a matter of time before someone finds the car, the oil rising to the surface of the water. The water is dark, but the strange floating colors will give it away. The singular body implicates the man in Lynne's freezer. 

"We should wait to bury that guy, it's going to be a mud pit," Armin says. 

"I'd get into a mud pit with you," Levi says. 

Armin laughs. "Coming from you, that means a lot."

"But you're right," Levi says. "It can wait a day, I can put up with Lynne until then." He looks at the clock on the night stand and scowls. "What the--? Armin. It's barely five. Come back to sleep." 

Armin climbs back in bed, his skin cool from the air conditioning. He doesn't succeed in falling asleep again. He lays his head on Levi's chest and sinks into a half-awake state, pulled under by the sound of the rain and Levi's slow breathing beneath him. 

**

Levi pulls Armin on top of him. The weight of his body is unfamiliar and pleasant. Levi likes the unique smell of Armin's hair. He winds his fingers through it, and Armin lets out a little satisfied sigh. Levi makes a mental note to play with Armin's hair more often. 

The gray light in the room gets brighter as the sun tries to rise behind dense clouds. Without it, Levi would completely lose track of time. He collects hookups as boredom and curiosity require. But he loses interest easily, mostly content with his regular trysts with Mike and Erwin. He usually doesn't study the other person's reactions so carefully. He feels no incentive to. Levi wraps his arms around Armin again and feels him take another deep breath. It feels exquisite. It makes Levi feel solid, real, serene.

He kisses the top of Armin's head. Armin's eyelashes graze his skin. Levi can't stop himself from smiling.

Armin looks up and notices. "What?"

"Nothing," Levi says.

"Don't lie to me," Armin whispers.

Levi laughs. "Fine. I like how your hair smells."

Armin yawns. "I knew you were a werewolf."

Levi shakes his head. 

"I'd have thought you'd be hairier, though," Armin says. 

"Tch. What can I say. I'm full of surprises."

Armin nods. "That much is true." He props himself up on his elbows and kisses Levi. His hair forms a little blonde curtain around their faces. Levi grabs his hips and pulls him closer. Armin is already getting hard. Levi grabs the inside of Armin's upper inner thigh, and Armin lets out a little gasp. 

"Ah...keep going," Armin says.

Levi kisses Armin's neck this time instead of his mouth. Armin inhales sharply. Levi does it again and gives Armin's thigh another squeeze. More sharp breathing, little pants. Levi pulls his hand up, grabbing Armin's balls. He licks Armin's neck and kisses him beneath his ear. "You like that?" he asks.

"Yes." Armin shivers in his hands.

"Here. Lie on your side."

Armin slides off of Levi's chest and faces away from him. Levi presses his own erection hard against Armin's butt. He strokes Armin's cock with one hand. He slips his other arm underneath Armin's neck and pulls him closer with his palm on his upper chest. His teeth graze the back of Armin's neck, and Armin shudders. So, Levi thinks. The weak spot is the neck. He kisses the back of Armin's neck again.

Armin tilts his head back and arches his back. Levi slides his hand up to the base of Armin's neck, and feels him get harder.

"Do you like getting choked out?" Levi asks.

"Uh...I've never tried it," Armin says.

"But you like my hand there. On your neck."

"Yeah," Armin says, short of breath. 

Levi adds the slightest bit of pressure to his grip on Armin's neck. He gives Armin's cock a few slow pumps. "You want me to get you off like this?" Levi's breath is hot on Armin's skin.

"Uh...I'm already getting close." From Armin's tone of voice, Levi can tell his face is flushed.

"Are you embarrassed?" Levi asks him.

"I guess? Kind of."

"Don't be." Levi licks and kisses Armin's neck again. He likes feeling Armin's body writhe in his arms. He lets out a little low growl and pumps and twists Armin until his body goes rigid, the hot fluid spills into the cracks between Levi's fingers. Armin lies on his back with his eyes closed, his breathing heavy. 

"I'll be right back." Levi washes himself off in the bathroom. He brings tissues for Armin. Armin cleans himself off and drops the wad of them on the floor by the bed. He turns over and slides up next to Levi, mildly delirious. 

Levi grips a handful of Armin's hair and kisses him again. Armin sighs and tucks his head into Levi's chest. Levi feels pleased with himself, with the reactions he got out of Armin. Whether he tops or bottoms, the more he can make the other person want him, the more powerful he feels. He clutches Armin closer to him and breathes in the smell of his hair again.

"You're going to eat me, aren't you," Armin says.

Levi laughs softly and snaps his teeth together. "Watch out." 

Armin smiles. He lets his body go limp for a few moments; Levi runs his hands slowly down Armin's back. Armin feels that Levi has gone soft against his leg, so he reaches down to revive him.

Levi snickers. "And what are you doing?"

"It's your turn," Armin says.

"Already?" Levi kisses his forehead.

Armin nods. He pushes Levi's hip down and straddles him. Armin looks at Levi's swelling cock, then at Levi's face with a doe-eyed expression. 

"Oh my god." Levi lays back against the mattress.

Armin laughs. He gives Levi a long, slow stroke with his tounge, from the spilt of his cheeks to his glistening tip. 

"Fuck." Levi's fingers claw the sheets.

Armin gives him an innocent smile and wraps his lips around Levi's tip. Levi isn't exceptionally long, but he is thick; thick enough to make Armin's jaw burn as he descends onto him, tongue swirling. 

Levi reaches for Armin's hair again. "Can I?"

"Mm-hmm," Armin says with his mouth full. 

Levi hits the back of Armin's throat over and over; his body convulses. Armin arches his back up again, showing off. He's so eager, so enthusiastic, Levi thinks. It drives him crazy. 

Levi's hips buck uncontrollably, but Armin doesn't relent. Levi lets go of Armin's hair; he knows better, he doesn't want to pull it too hard. Not without negotiating, anyway. Levi comes and Armin sucks it down greedily, his hands tight on Levi's hips.

Armin starts to get up, but Levi grabs his shoulder. "Come here," he says. He grabs Armin's waist, pulls him back on top of him, and kisses him.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just another short update this time. I hate that this is creeping along at a snail's pace, but it will be finished, I promise! One more plot arc and more smut and fluff on the way.

Armin yawns and stretches. "What time is it?"

Levi rolls over and looks at the clock. "It's just past seven. Why?" Levi grins. "You got to be somewhere?"

"Yeah," Armin says, still groggy. "I have a very important appointment."

"Do you, now."

Armin nods. "In room 201. Between your legs."

Levi cackles. Armin loves that laugh. 

Levi hovers over Armin. He kisses Armin's neck, his chest, his thin, tight abdomen, the soft patch of hair above his legs. He presses the pad of his thumb to Armin's opening, he teases him with his tongue. Armin's body goes stiff, then relaxes. 

"I should, um. I should go to the bathroom--"

"Take your time," Levi says. 

Armin feels Levi's eyes follow him as he walks into the bathroom and shuts the door behind him. It isn't good to neglect to eat, he thinks, but he supposes of all the days he could have lost his appetite so completely, this wasn't the worst.

When he opens the door again, Levi is standing in front of him. He reaches for Armin's hips and pulls him into a kiss. Levi's grip and the heat from Levi's body make him hard again.

"You seem tense," Levi says after a moment.

"I...yeah. That happens sometimes," Armin says. "You might have noticed, you have that effect on people."

"Tch." Levi runs his fingers though Armin's hair. His expression softens. "Something bothering you?"

"No," Armin says. Not besides the fact that it's been a while. Or that Levi is the most distressingly attractive person Armin has ever met, much less hooked up with.

Armin lies down on the bed, and Levi lies on his side next to him with a predatory smile. He slips a lubricated finger into Armin and it makes Armin groan. He grips the back of Armin's neck again. Armin gasps and arches his back.

"Too much?" Levi asks.

"No." Armin's eyes flutter shut. "It's, ah--" he moans as Levi fingers him. "It feels...really good." He breathes deeply and tries to relax. Levi's movements are forceful but slow, his breathing heavy in Armin's ear. 

This is what I wanted, Armin thinks. This kind of attention. Not having to hide. Not having to rush. He lets himself melt into Levi's hands. 

Levi carefully withdraws his fingers and wipes them off. He straddles Armin's chest. "Do you mind?"

"Huh?" Armin looks at Levi's swelling cock and smiles. "No." He takes Levi into his mouth. 

Levi throws his head back and groans. Armin pulls him deeper into his throat. After a few moments, Levi pulls a condom from his wallet on the night table, and Armin takes another deep breath.

**

Levi senses Armin's body carefully beneath him, he listens to his breath. How hard does he want it? How fast? Armin grips the sheets with one hand, the other he rests on Levi's back. Levi feels Armin pull him closer. Good. More, then. 

Levi liked it when Erwin or Mike, tired of making decisions and drained from the day's tasks, told him to take over. But Armin is so much lighter. Levi gives Armin a playful bite on the neck and thrusts into him harder. He steadies himself with one arm, with the other he presses Armin's sternum harder into the mattress. He creeps his hand up closer to Armin's neck, spurred on by his moaning.

Then Armin goes still. "Stop," he says, out of breath. But his voice is soft, and Levi, distracted, doesn't hear him right away. Armin grabs Levi's wrist, and Levi freezes, startled. "Stop. It's too much. On my neck."

Levi draws back. To him, Armin looks surprised. A knot of dread builds in Levi's stomach, displacing the building heat and pressure from before.

"Levi?" 

Levi realizes he's been frozen for a moment. Thoughts of the warehouse, the doctor, of being told to stop. Levi feels himself wilting and pulls out. 

"Levi? What's wrong?" 

Levi sits up on his knees, his eyes wander around the room. "Nothing," he says. "You ok?"

"I'm fine," Armin says. He props himself up on his elbows. "It was just too much pressure." He looks up at Levi, his eyes narrow. "Levi? What's going on?"

Levi turns his head slowly. "You looked surprised."

"What? When, just now?"

"Yeah," Levi says, distant.

"Like...I thought you wouldn't? Stop, I mean."

Levi looks at the mattress. "Yeah."

Armin cocks his head. He bites his lip and pauses. Then he lets out a little dry laugh. "You know if I thought you were some kind of monster, I wouldn't share a hotel room with you."

Levi blinks a few times. No, he thinks; I didn't do anything wrong. It was uncomfortable. But I didn't hurt him. I would never. 

"Do you...want to keep going?" Armin asks.

"Only if you want to," Levi says.

"Levi." Armin sits up and tilts his chin down, he gives Levi another doe-eyed look. "I want you to keep fucking me."

"Tch." Levi shakes his head. "Who could say no to that." He peels off the old condom and reaches for a new one. 

"Here." Armin puts his hands on Levi's shoulders and guides Levi to lie down. Armin lies on top of him and kisses him, lightly at first, then deeper. 

Levi is surprised at how quickly Armin gets him hard again, from the kiss alone. He slips the new condom on. He reaches for Armin's waist. 

Armin pushes Levi slowly into him. Levi inhales sharply through his teeth, his back tense. He watches Armin ride him, his hair swinging back and forth as he fucks himself on Levi's cock. It's a different kind of mesmerizing, Levi thinks. 

Armin reaches for Levi's hand and presses it to the base of his neck again, with a mischievous smile. "Just not as hard this time."

**

"You've got something on your face." Armin reaches over and brushes a crumb from the corner of Levi's mouth. 

"Oh. Thanks." But Levi can't help but smile. Armin's skin still has a flush to it, even though the room service breakfast dishes lie decimated on the tray in front of them. Levi sighs and checks his phone. He told Armin he had an appointment at eleven. He hadn't mentioned it was to look at teak samples for his apartment floor at Mike's warehouse. "All right. Tonight we empty the fridge?" 

"Yeah," Armin says. "That's fine."

"Good. I'll see you at nine, then." He stands up, takes Armin's face in his hands, and kisses him. He catches one last glimpse of Armin looking at him serenely before he shuts the door behind him. A feeling of warmth fills his chest as he walks down the hall.

**

Eren lies on the couch with his computer in his lap when Armin walks in. He tilts his head back and gives Armin an upside-down smile. "Hey," he says, sitting up normally, wearing his shit-eating grin. "How was Levi's?" 

Armin shrugs. "It was fine."

Eren tilts his head. 

"What?" Armin opens the refrigerator. When he turns back around, Eren is nodding with his tongue between his teeth. Armin rolls his eyes. "Eren, shut up." 

Eren laughs. "Oh my god, Armin. I didn't even say anything."

Armin glares at him and walks into his room. But when he shuts the door behind him, he can't keep from smiling. Yeah, he thinks; as it turns out, Levi's was great.

Echoes of pressure still course through his body from Levi. I get to see him again when I go back tonight, he thinks. Let him wash the dirt off of me this time. 

Armin reaches for the little black tin on his desk and decides to make himself a cup of tea.


	11. Chapter 11

Eren hovers over Armin's shoulder. Armin pours the not-quite boiling water over the pale green leaves.

"What's that?" Eren asks.

"Oh. Uh, it's some green tea," Armin says. "You want to try it?"

"Nah, I'm good." Eren pulls a can of Diet Coke from the fridge.

Armin's phone buzzes in his pocket. A text from Levi.

_Can you meet me at 8 instead of 9?_

_Sure_ , Armin types. _What's going on?_

_Ilse wants to meet you_ , comes the response. 

_Who is Ilse?_

_One of my co-workers_  
_I told you about her right?_

Armin squints, concerned. _Yeah it's fine I can meet you at 8._

_Ok good._  
_She has a job you might be interested in._

Armin is not reassured by this.

"You free tonight?" Eren asks.

"Uh...no. I'm covering another shift," Armin says. God, Armin thinks; what does she want?

**

Levi wears a black blazer and a crisp white shirt with his dark jeans. Armin suddenly feels underdressed for the bar on the ground floor of the hotel in his black t-shirt and work pants. For a second he thinks the woman sitting next to Levi is Ymir. But her glossy brown hair is longer, and her face seems warmer, less severe. She wears a gray sleeveless turtleneck with a bright silver fleur-de-lis necklace. Nothing would give her away as a hitwoman, Armin thinks, except, perhaps, her sharp-looking, muscular arms.

Ilse looks Armin up and down, then turns to Levi and grins. "Since when do you have an accomplice?"

"Since someone intelligent showed up," Levi says. "Someone else, anyway." He sips his whiskey. "You want something to drink?" He asks Armin.

"I'll have a gin and tonic," he says to the bartender.

"This is Armin," Levi says to Ilse.

Armin shakes her hand. He senses she could break his, if she wanted to. He takes the stool next to Levi and eagerly awaits the drink.

"So," Levi says. "What have you got for us?"

"You remember Nikolai Lovoff?" Isle holds her martini delicately.

"I thought he got out of town once the Titans were dissolved," Levi says.

"He did, but he's back. And Pixis is pissed."

Levi cocks an eyebrow. "How pissed?"

"Three hundred grand pissed," Ilse says. "I got a call from Rico this morning."

"Rico's not taking this one?" Levi looks confused.

Who are these people, Armin wonders. He takes his glass from the bartender.

Ilse shakes her head. "Nope. She's in the same boat as me, I'm afraid. Pixis has to outsource this one. Lovoff's got two new bodyguards, and one is an ex-Titan. Knows my face, and knows Rico's."

"Damn," Levi says. "I thought you'd get away from that, far north side."

Ilse sighs. "I thought I would too," she says. "But no dice."

"All right, so what's your cut?" Levi asks her.

"Ten percent," Ilse says.

Levi nods. "Yeah, all right. That's fair. You got any other intel on him?"

"I got an extra set of eyes at Jinae," Ilse says.

"The Korean place?" Levi asks. "Who is it?"

"You remember Sayram? Pixis took him on last year," Ilse says. "He's a manager at Jinae, as a cover. Anyways, Lovoff's got a reservation there two nights from now."

Levi squints. "For how many people?"

"Eight," Ilse says.

"Shit." Levi swirls his whiskey around in its glass.

Ilse shrugs. "That's the best I can do."

Levi shakes his head. "No, it's good. That's good. We can work with that. We'll figure it out."

Armin looks at Levi. Does he expect me to help him kill this man? Or simply bury him? And how much of that money...would go to me? Half of 270 thousand is...almost enough to get me out from under. Almost. "So, who is this guy, exactly?" Armin asks. "Lovoff, I mean."

"Think of it this way," Levi says. "If Erwin runs this city, Pixis runs the far north side. They get on pretty well. Lovoff, on the other hand..."

"He's bad for business," Ilse says.

What could that possibly mean, Armin thinks.

"Pixis sells his drugs to north side rich kids," Ilse says. "He's got a reputation there, he doesn't want to ruin it. Then someone like Lovoff comes in from out of state, he brings in all this cheap stuff, it's laced, it's cut, and some kid dies from it, now the police are sniffing around more than they used to. Different county, different set of bribes." She sips her drink. "They were business partners once, back in the day; Pixis and Lovoff. Lovoff cut out and screwed Pixis over, or at least that's what Rico tells me. Guess this is as good a chance as any to stick it to him."

Armin's hand is cold from his glass. The feeling of cold spreads through his body.

"Who else knows about the bounty?" Levi asks.

"I don't know," Ilse says. "Rico didn't say."

Levi looks at the bar, then nudges Armin's side. "So. You like Korean food?"

**

Armin waits for Levi to change into work clothes. It can't be worth it, he thinks. I can dig another grave. But I can't take this guy out. I could never do what you do, Armin thinks as Levi steps out of the bathroom.

Lynne gives them a stern look, hands on her hips in her white chef's jacket. "Took you long enough," she says. "You want to explain to my line cooks why we got something wrapped in a tarp in the freezer?"

Levi crosses his arms. "Lynne. You work for Erwin Smith. You ought to know this kind of thing happens. Just make up some bullshit, and would you get us a crate?"

"You get it," she says. "There's an empty one in the back of the supply closet." She nods in its direction. "I got two weddings and a bat mitzvah to handle, if you're quite finished."

"Get over it," Levi mutters.

Armin fetches the empty wooden box, stenciled with the name of a vineyard. Levi hoists the frozen corpse into it. Lynne watches over her shoulder as they lift the box onto a rolling cart and take off for the lower parking garage.

The hall is silent except for the sound of the cart's one squeaky wheel.

"So...about this thing Ilse told us about..." Armin's mouth is dry.

"I'm still going to need a driver," Levi says. "And a drop point." He turns to Armin. "And someone to watch my perimeter."

Armin shivers. "I can't...I mean, if you have to shoot him--"

"There might be some other way to take him out," Levi says. "I have to follow him a few nights from now anyways. If you help cover me, I'll split the bounty with you."

Armin nods slowly.

"Armin," Levi says. "If you don't want the job, don't take it. If I have to hire the Doctor, or Reiner, or Mikasa, I will. But don't mention this to anyone."

"Does Erwin know?" Armin asks.

"He doesn't have exclusive rights to us," Levi says. "He knows we might take on other contracts. Anything that doesn't interfere with him is fair game. If I have to get him involved, I will. But Pixis wants to keep this on the down low. Otherwise he would have gone to Erwin directly."

Armin swallows hard. "Yeah. That makes sense." He opens the door to the van, then looks at the pavement for a second. "I'll help you."

**

Armin is quiet as they drive.

"Here," Levi says. He hands Armin an open thermos. "I made extra." He draws an identical one from his bag.

"What is this?" Armin asks. He doesn't recognize the aroma.

"It's called Pu-erh," Levi says. "It's a black tea, but it's fermented longer. I just got it in."

Armin waits at a stoplight and sips the tea. "Huh. It's nice. It's different. I can't really place it." The taste is dark and earthy, the smell is rich.

"Yeah, it's unusual, isn't it?" Levi pulls out the auxiliary cable and hooks up his phone again.

More opera this time. Armin doesn't recognize it. "What are we listening to?"

"It's Faust," Levi says.

Armin listens to the warbling violins, the impenetrable French. He tries to find the meaning. Is this why Levi puts on opera sometimes? To keep the theater of the mind busy, keep it from descending into panic? Armin puts the thermos in the deep cup holder. Lovoff, he thinks. Sounds Russian. Is there a way to tap his phone? Armin wonders how to make it quick. Make it silent, seamless, the way Erwin would want them to work if the job were for him. Nothing flashy.

Armin realizes he's running out of drop points. He'll have to go canvass more neighborhoods, scope out more abandoned buildings. He drives himself and Levi and the body to a shuttered elementary school that went under for lack of funds. Well, Mikasa had been right about the city being corrupt. The news was always peppered with scandals about the misuse of funds.

The misuse of funds. Lovoff is worth three hundred thousand to Pixis. Armin shakes his head.

"What?" Levi asks.

"Nothing," Armin says. He catches Levi's pale gray gaze, but Levi doesn't press him.

I can help, Armin thinks. I can get information. I can dig. But I can't...I can't get rid of him. Armin feels a heaviness in his chest. He pictures his father. You made a lot of mistakes, Armin thinks, but you never hurt anyone on purpose, did you? You got me into this mess, he says silently to the specter. Now I have to get out. But I can't hurt anyone. Not directly anyway. If I do, that means I'm no better than you are. If I do, that means I'm much, much worse. I could never be critical of you again.

Armin grips the steering wheel, his knuckles turn white. Levi gives him another concerned look.


	12. Chapter 12

Armin's sweat-drenched shirt clings to his skin. It doesn't matter. He pictures the hotel showers, and it motivates him to work faster. The digging is getting easier. Still not easy, but better. If he digs quickly and is out of breath, maybe he won't have to talk as much.

"Good thing this place is empty," Levi says.

"I did my best," Armin says. 

"I'm just imagining a bunch of kids gardening," Levi says, "and finding this." He points to the corpse with his foot. Armin wonders if he picked that up from Mikasa.

Armin shrugs. "Archaeology day." 

"You're sick," Levi says.

"That's why you like me." Armin hauls up another scoop of dirt.

"It's one reason," Levi says. 

How sick am I? Armin wonders. Can I quarantine myself? Restrain the damage? Armin sighs heavily. How can I do the least harm for the most money? 

The ground is muddy from the morning's rain. They had wanted to wait. Lynne had insisted they not. Levi's phone had danced off the side of the table from her repeated texts.

"Good riddance." Levi kicks the still mostly frozen body into the messy grave. 

"I wonder what this one did," Armin says. He shovels the earth back into the dark gap.

"Who cares," Levi says.

I do, Armin thinks. And what else has Lovoff done? Surely people have overdosed on things they've bought from Erwin's fleet of dealers, too. That doesn't seem like enough to tip the scales, Armin thinks. He keeps shoveling the dirt. If I only had more dirt on Lovoff. Could I do it, if he were truly a monster, and not just a nuisance to Pixis? Then I would be doing a service, right? 

Armin looks at the body in the ground. The tarp came unrolled on the way down. One of the man's eyes was frozen open. Levi takes a break to sip his tea at the grave's edge. Armin looks at him. How long am I going to do this, Armin wonders. How long will I bother talking myself out of it? How long before I quit the guilt-trip mental gymnastics all together and just become what I've always been?

"Levi," Armin says, "what else do you know about Lovoff?"

"You having doubts?"

Armin sighs. "What do you expect?" He keeps filling in the grave. "It doesn't mean I don't still want the money."

"I don't know that much about him, truth be told. I know he tried to blackmail Erwin once. The Doctor tortured one of his guys as a warning. She does that, from time to time." Levi screws the top back on his thermos. "I never met Lovoff, I never saw his face anyway. He used to have some guys in the prizefighting circuit. One of them tried to bribe me once to lose on purpose. I didn't take it."

"Did you win?" Armin asks.

Levi laughs his sinister laugh again. "I always won."

 

**

They fill in the last of the dirt, and Armin drops his shovel, his hands quavering. He collapses onto a damp, slimy wooden bench at the side of the garden. 

"What's wrong?" Levi wipes his face.

"I don't think I can drive," Armin says. "I feel sick again."

"What happened?"

"I don't know," Armin says. "It's like...it's like someone hit a switch..."

"We should have waited to do this," Levi says. "They say having a panic attack is like running a marathon."

Armin sits silently, his head hangs between his knees.

"I'll drive," Levi says. "Can you get up?"

Armin reaches his hand out and Levi pulls him to his feet. 

"You look awful," Levi says, seeing Armin in the garish yellow streetlight.

"Thanks," Armin says weakly. 

Levi climbs in the driver's seat and starts the van. He turns the music back on, but sets the volume lower.

Armin leans his seat back. They say nothing for a few exits.

"Jesus," Armin mutters. "I hate this."

"What?"

"Feeling wiped out like this," Armin says.

"You know why Erwin pays you a lot to do this, right?"

Armin just sighs.

"Because it's hard," Levi says. "Any group of people can dig a fucking hole in the ground. Most people aren't watching their backs while they're doing it."

"I'm always kind of like this," Armin says. "Even when I'm not working for you. I'm never one hundred percent. I'm like a sleepwalker."

Levi turns to him. "Do you ever give yourself a fucking break?" 

Armin looks away.

"How long ago was it your parents died?" Levi begins to swerve into another lane. A semi-truck blares its horn and Armin's body spasms. "Shit," Levi says. "Sorry. Sorry." Blue lights appear in the rear-view mirrors. "Oh, fuck. This is the last thing I need right now."

"Those are for you," Armin says, his voice gravelly. 

A cop with a thick brown mustache saunters up to Levi's window. "Hey partner, your left tail light's out."

"What?" But Levi's shock is genuine. Sasha was supposed to fix that light. Levi presses the brake again and looks out the window. "Piece of shit," he says under his breath. He fishes out his driver's license and the van's registration. 

"Hey, what's with the mud, there, pal?" 

Levi can't stand the man's demeanor, but the syrupy friendliness is better than the drawn-gun power trip. "Oh," he says. "We had to bury a body."

The cop laughs, then raises an eyebrow.

"His dog died," Levi says, nodding in Armin's direction. 

The cop's face falls. "So you buried him at half past midnight?"

"Yeah," Levi says gravely. "So his little sisters wouldn't have to see it."

The cop nods slowly. "Sorry to hear that. What kind of dog was he?"

"She was a German Shepherd," Armin says. His voice sounds so strained and pathetic, Levi thinks; it's perfect. 

"Damn good dogs. It's a shame." The cop hands Levi back his license and papers. "I'm letting you two off with a warning. But don't drive when you're tired, now, y'hear?"

"Believe me," Levi says with feigned graciousness, "If he were driving, you'd be digging us out of that ditch over there." He nods toward the side of the road. 

Levi rolls up the window and starts the car again.

"Jesus fucking Christ," Armin says. "Were you trying to scare the shit out of me?"

"When?"

Armin sits up. "When you told that dumbass cop we were burying a body!"

Levi lets out a crackle of laughter. "Sorry. Sometimes honesty is the best policy...for generating more believable lies."

"Oh my god."

"You were perfect, though." Levi says, his grin wide. He passes the exit for the hotel. 

"Where are you going?" Armin asks, his voice a whine.

"To my apartment. Instead of the hotel. That all right with you?"

Armin lies back and shuts his eyes. "So you're taking me hostage."

Levi chuckles. "Wow. You're feeling better already."

**

"Mikasa!" Levi yells as they open the door. But there's no answer. Levi drops his and Armin's bags on the floor and begins peeling his muddy clothes off in the little foyer. 

"What are you--" Armin starts to say.

"It's fine," Levi says. "No one's here." With his muddy face and arms and bright white skin, he reminds Armin of a Siamese cat. 

Armin pulls his shirt off. Levi watches him take off the rest of his clothes. Armin moves more slowly when he knows he's being watched.

Why now, he thinks. Why, of all times for me to feel like this, does it have to be in Levi's apartment?

Levi gathers up the clothes. "Come on," he says. "Turn the shower on, I'll put these in the laundry."

Armin walks down the long low hallway as if through water, to the strange bathroom. He turns on the shower, steps into the copper basin, and sinks back down with his arms around his knees, his head buried. He lets the hot water spill over him. Little trails of dirt stream from his body to the drain. 

Levi's body blocks the water when he steps into the shower. He reaches down and ruffles Armin's hair. 

"Ok, look," Levi says. "Either you can handle this job, or you can't. So far, you're handling it. Ok? We did what we need to do. So just...take your time off until the next assignment. All right?"

Armin nods without looking up. 

Levi tries to peel one of Armin's hands off of his leg. "Come here," Levi says.

Armin lets out a faint laugh. "We're off duty, don't tell me what to do."

"Tch. Ok, then. Would you please stand up?" 

Armin sighs.

"Can you stand up?" Levi asks.

Armin looks up. "What? Yes. I'm just..."

"Just what? Being difficult?" 

Armin rolls his eyes and lowers his head again.

"All right, fine, if you won't come to me, I'll come to you." Levi sits down across from Armin and reaches his hands out. "Now will you please come here?" He pulls Armin into his lap, takes his face in his hands, and kisses him. 

"What happened to you?" Armin asks after a moment.

"What do you mean?"

"You used to be such a neat freak." Armin cracks a smile. "The filth doesn't seem to bother you much right now."

"Oh. Don't think that's changed," Levi says. "But you need this." Levi kisses him again.

"Do I?" Armin asks, cocking his head. "Or do you?"

Levi smirks and and takes Armin's chin in his thumb and forefinger. "Well. Excuse me for trying to help."

"Oh, I'm not saying it's not helping." Armin's smile is guileless. "I'm just asking."

"Well you ought to know by now, I'm a selfish person," Levi says. "I never do anything unless it helps me in some way."

"Glad to know I help you," Armin says. 

Levi reaches for the back of Armin's neck and the small of his back and pulls him closer. 

**

The air is cool in Levi's room. To Armin's surprise, the red door opens to a small flight of four stairs, leading up to a raised platform. Long drawers fill the space between the platform and the floor, and a closet with sliding mirrored doors faces them. Armin follows Levi up the stairs. A thick mattress lies on top of the platform, with just enough space above it for a man their height to stand without hitting his head. Two paper lanterns light the room. One tall, on the floor by the stairs, the other box-like, on the low table next to the bed. A dish of incense ash lies next to it, the earthy smell still lingering. If the exterior wall behind the platform weren't one long window, it would feel like a cave, Armin thinks. The blinds are drawn.

Armin falls asleep with Levi's heavy arm around him again. When he first wakes up, he's alone, and the early morning light seeps in through the blinds. He wavers between sleep and wakefulness. The air in the room is dense with the smell of cedar, and the quiet feels heavy. 

Then Armin notices voices from the living room. He isn't sure if they're real, or if he's dreaming them.

"Reiner dropped out," a woman's voice says. But it isn't Mikasa's. Maybe Annie's? "Erwin wants someone to replace him. Bert says he doesn't want to do it. He says he hasn't trained for it."

"Huh. Erwin hasn't called me about it yet." The man sounds like Levi.

"I know. He knew I was coming here," Annie says.

"So who are you fighting?" Levi asks. 

"She just goes by Fritz. No affiliation. Gabi was supposed to fight her. But her wrist is still fucked up."

"That's a shame. I would have wanted to see that," Levi says.

"Yeah. I haven't seen Gabi in a long time." This sounds like Mikasa. "Fritz is a bitch," the woman says. "But Annie will beat her. It'll be a good show."

"So who was Reiner supposed to fight?" 

"You remember Zeke?" Annie asks.

There's a moment of silence. "Fuck," Levi says.

"Erwin wants to know by tomorrow," Annie says. 

Tomorrow, Armin thinks, semi-conscious. There's something we're supposed to do tomorrow. 

"I have to think about it," Levi says. 

"It's fine. Just tell him by tomorrow."

Armin rolls over onto the cool side of the mattress. 

"Annie," Levi's voice is low. "Don't mention this to Armin. If I choose to do it, I'll tell him."

"Suit yourself," she says.

Armin hears footsteps approaching. Two sets go into the adjacent bedroom. The door to Levi's room opens and shuts. The steps creak. Levi climbs back into bed with Armin.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been kind of terrible about updating and answering comments...who else made a new year's resolution to write more? eh? anyways, I hope you enjoy.

There is something delicious about sleeping in someone else's bed, Levi thinks. He first noticed it when he began staying over with Erwin and Mike. Levi relished how expensive everything smelled, the feeling of stretching out on the billion-thread-count sheets and letting his body be sore from something enjoyable for once. Then, the feeling of being coveted. The desired guest.

But the best part had been the escape. Getting away from the dingy apartment he shared with two strangers from Craigslist. Anything was better than Kenny's house. But it still wasn't good.

Armin lies on his side, facing away from Levi. Levi's eyes trace the contour of his back. A fine silver line draws the shape of it from the thin morning light through the window. Even on the nights when it was difficult to sleep, simply lying in the room he had designed for himself was enough for Levi to feel at ease. Mikasa charmed the antique dealers near the docks with her near-native Japanese. She procured him the lanterns and side tables as a housewarming gift.

When curiosity and horniness got the best of Levi, he would follow his companions home to all sorts of places, from penthouses to college dorm rooms. But he rarely brought anyone back here. There was something clean about Armin, something comfortable, as though he belonged in this place, enhancing it rather than defiling it.

Levi draws himself up next to Armin and drapes an arm over him. Armin smells like Levi's shampoo, and a touch of Levi's cologne, and a smile creeps onto Levi's face. Greedy possessiveness stirs in his chest. You do belong here, Levi thinks.

He feels the subtle expansion and contraction of Armin's ribcage. At least one of us can sleep, Levi thinks. At least one of us can check out for a few hours and worry about nothing.

It seems so peaceful, so promising, to have him here. Levi doesn't want to ruin it, doesn't want to jeapordize it. Getting rid of Lovoff will take careful planning. Levi can't afford to make mistakes.

But first, he thinks, I have a beast to slaughter.

Levi entered the dark building through the roof, covered in sweat, his heart pounding. He climbed silently, his rifle strapped to his back, onto a tall stack of crates in the back of the room. From his vantage point, he listened to the six Titans who stood over the four bodies of his crew. Two of them were men he had defeated in prizefights. One was a woman who had been their MC.

They were waiting for 'Zeke,' the one coming to get them.

Levi knew he should have run. He shot the last of them in the back as the man tried to flee. Instead, Levi reloaded his gun and waited. Minutes that felt like hours, his rifle pointed toward the door, the floor covered in bodies. The noises the bleeding figures made had all stopped.

Zeke looked awfully young to have white hair. But stress does things to people. The door opened and a tall man in glasses appeared with a gun drawn. He studied Levi's bloody face for a moment, as if he knew him; a stalemate. Levi had never seen the man before. Then Zeke, to Levi's surprise, drew a small object from his pocket, his gun still trained on Levi's chest. Zeke flicked a switch and threw it at the ground. The room began to fill with smoke.

Levi fired, but the bullets struck only empty air through the doorframe. When he ran out into the gravel lot outside, there was no van, only empty night air, clear of the noxious fumes from the grenade. Levi sank to his knees.

In the months that followed, Levi tracked down as many Titans as he could. He never managed to find the man with the white hair and glasses.

I have to find out if it's him, the last one. Their accomplice.

Levi hadn't been in a prizefight since before that day. He hadn't intended to stop. After the shock, it had been too much. And he had private matters to attend to. Levi played it off as choosing to quit with a perfect record.

Armin's hair is soft against his nose. Levi's mind wanders. Why did Reiner drop out? Did the two of them know each other from before? Does Reiner know something about this Zeke that I don't, Levi wonders? Is it even the same person?

Armin fidgets and Levi realizes how tightly he's been gripping him. Armin turns over onto his back and Levi lays his arm across Armin's chest.

I have until tomorrow night to decide, Levi tells himself. So that's when I'll decide.

**

The mirrors on the sliding closet doors reach the ceiling. Levi chose them on purpose, but he's never enjoyed them as much as now.

Armin sinks onto his forearms, panting. Levi watches the arc of his back in the mirror, the angle of his hips as he takes Levi's thrusts. Then Armin turns his head. Their gazes meet in the mirror, and Armin laughs and hangs his head.

"Trust me, you look good," Levi says, short of breath himself. He reaches for the back of Armin's neck and gives it a calculated squeeze.

Armin grimaces, his body tightens. He groans and his splatter of come soaks the sheet beneath them. Levi releases Armin's neck and grips his shoulder instead. He pounds faster into Armin until the two of them lie in a heaving heap on the mattress.

Armin draws his fingers through his sweat-damp hair to slick it back from his face. "I'm going to need another shower," he says, laying on his side and facing Levi.

"You want me to join you?" Levi asks.

Armin nods. He collapses onto his back and heaves a sigh. Levi leans over and plants a kiss on Armin's chest.

**

Armin doesn't know what time it is when he wanders down the hall into the living room in an extra bathrobe of Levi's. Annie lies on the couch with her head in Mikasa's lap, reading something on her phone while Mikasa watches TV. Mikasa wears her satin dressing gown; Annie looks dressed for the gym, but also as though she has no intention of moving at all.

"Here," Levi says. He hands Armin a small ceramic cup.

"What's this?"

"It's an oolong," Levi says.

Armin takes a sip. I don't speak tea, he thinks. In my world there are only two kinds: tea I want to keep drinking, and tea I don't. But this one is good. Armin has no words for why it's good. But it came from Levi, which endows it with mystical properties.

Armin sits on a barstool across from Levi.

"You want anything to eat?" Levi asks.

"I...yeah, actually. I'm starving."

Levi pulls two bagels from the toaster oven and drops them onto plates. He shoves one across the counter to Armin and fetches a container of cream cheese from the refrigerator.

"Hey. You two," Levi says to the women on the couch, "You want anything?"

"Nope," Annie says.

"I'm good. Thanks, though." Mikasa gives a little wave.

Why do the simplest things seem so much better in your presence, Armin wonders as he takes a bite of the bagel. Fuck. I knew it. I knew this would be the best bagel I ever had.

"What's the matter?" Levi looks up from his plate.

"Nothing," Armin says.

"Oh, by the way, your phone went off a bunch earlier." Levi nods in the direction of their bags in the foyer.

When Armin fishes the phone out of his bag, it blinks with three missed calls from Eren and a chain of texts.

_Arminnnnn_   
_where are you_   
_?_   
_what are you doing tonight??_   
_Jean has a gig at stohess_   
_You should come and bring Leviiiiii_

Armin rolls his eyes. _I can't make it tonight_ , he types.

Eren writes back right away. _awww why not?_  
 _you got a date?_

 _Yeah actually_ , Armin writes.

_oooh_   
_where?_

Armin sighs. Is there any point in lying? _Levi's taking me to Jinae. do you know it?_

_hahahaha holy shit_   
_is he going to propose or something?_   
_that place is swanky as hell_

Shit, Armin thinks. What am I going to wear? What does one wear to stalk a man one intends to kill? _His friend works there_ , Armin types.

 _noice_  
 _well_  
 _you two have fun_  
 _lots of it_  
 _all kinds of fun_  
Eren sends a pointing finger emoji and a hand making the sign for 'ok.'

 _I think we got that part covered_ , Armin writes, his face involuntarily twisting into a smile.

"Who you talking to?" Levi glances at the screen.

"Ugh. Eren being Eren."

Levi snickers. He takes a bite of bagel.

"So...this place tonight...it's too nice for jeans?" Armin asks.

"Hm...I'll put it this way," Levi says. "It's too nice for jeans that cost less than two hundred dollars."

"Ah. Right." Armin sips his tea.

"Where are you going?" Annie asks from the couch.

"Jinae," Levi says.

Mikasa turns around. "What the shit? I want to go! You got a reservation?"

"It's for a job," Levi says.

"So? I still want to go!" Mikasa says.

"Yeah, well trust me, if this job works out, I will take all of us to Jinae, and I will order a fucking magnum of champagne," Levi says.

"Ooh, what's the bounty?" Mikasa's eyes are wide.

"Not telling," Levi says.

"You're no fun." Mikasa pouts.

"You're going to regret saying that to me if I don't come back from this job," Levi says.

Armin's eyes widen. Levi winks at him.

"Ok, if you die can I have your stuff?" Mikasa turns back to the TV.

"This is a conversation the two of you have a lot, isn't it?" Armin asks. Levi and Mikasa both laugh.

"Dude," Annie says. "I totally get Mikasa's dresses if she dies."

"Glad you all have such a healthy attitude about this," Armin says. His smile feels forced. How serious is Levi? Surely Levi wouldn't take on a job if he thought he couldn't make it, would he?

"We do what we can," Levi says. "You want some more tea?"

"Yeah," Armin says. He and Levi finish their breakfast.

I don't know what you have planned for tonight, Armin thinks. But I trust you. One way or another, you'll figure this out.

**

Armin pulls his nicest pair of jeans from the drawer, a gift from his mother from their last Christmas together. She had cut the price tag off, but the gift receipt was from Bloomingdales, and if Armin had to venture a guess...

They'll do. He puts on a light blue dress shirt and a navy blazer. Too much blue? Maybe. But it brings out his eyes.

Armin runs a comb through his hair when he hears his phone vibrate against the desk. An invitation for a job interview, from a resume posting site. Armin's heart races. He scrolls through the details.

It's for an insurance company. They sell life insurance. God, he thinks, it feels like such a con.

Wait.

Armin sinks down on the edge of the bed. The office is over an hour away each way, in a far-north suburb near the airport.

I should do it, he thinks. I should go and try to get a normal job, and be a normal person. Fuck. I should just manage Erwin's bar. What the hell am I thinking. I could still see Levi.

He looks at himself in the mirror. But you never wanted to be a normal person, did you? You don't want to hurt anyone. But you never wanted to be ordinary. And how could you be ordinary?

Armin tilts his face and examines the contour of his cheek and and jaw. If you're good enough for Levi, then you're good enough. So maybe Levi is a monster. He isn't monstrous to you. At least some monsters are beautiful.

A monster certainly isn't ordinary.

Armin looks at the time. Better philosophize in the car. If they're late, they won't get their table.

He shoves his wallet and keys in his pocket, turns to leave, then stops by the door. He grabs a half-empty bottle of cologne from the top of the dresser and gives himself a spritz. The cologne was a gift from his father.

Now I smell like a man pretending to be rich.

**

Mikasa opens the door when Armin knocks. "Look at you," she says. "You look cute." She turns down the hall. "Levi!"

"Just a second." Levi puts on his black blazer as he walks up to the foyer.

"Take pictures of all the food," Mikasa says.

Levi rolls his eyes. "Come on, let's go." He shuts the red door on Mikasa's laughter. Then he smiles. "You do look good."

The words make Armin feel light.

Levi opens the door to Armin's car. "Nice to have you drive me around in something that isn't that van," he says. He sits down heavily, with a sigh.

Armin shrugs and turns the ignition. Levi's face seems flushed. "You seem tired."

"I'm fine. I went to the gym."

"I thought today was your day off," Armin says.

"I just felt like going." Levi cracks his neck. "It's too bad, you know."

"What?"

"Having to work tonight. It'd be nice to take you out on a proper date for once."

Armin smiles.

"Once this is done, let me take you out. Without the girls. We'll take them out, too, but then, something just us."

"I'd really like that," Armin says.

Levi turns on the radio. Classical music plays. "Sayram says they've got a table by the window, one that looks out over the water. So we'll try to get the one next to them."

"So we're just...getting information tonight. Right?"

"Yeah, if it's him and seven other people that's probably all we can do. Good news is, if there's a lot of people, he might be extra chatty. And then, we follow them. Just to scope it out."

Armin takes a deep breath. It's ok. You're just here to help. You're a facilitator.

He thinks of Mikasa's morbid jokes. Maybe that's the best way to deal with this. "So. Where you taking me when we're all done?"

"I'll get you the penthouse suite at one of the top hotels," Levi says. "And it doesn't even have to be one owned by Erwin."

When Armin parks at the valet stand, Levi reaches over and rubs Armin's back. "All right," Levi says. "Now we just got to stand up straight and act like we belong here."


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi is convinced he can fill in for Reiner's prize fight. Armin is not so sure.

Delicate chatter fills the air of the restaurant. The ceiling is low, and the dark polished wood panels of the long room shine in the low light. Curling in the air above Levi and Armin is a giant paper sculpture of a dragon, entirely white, hanging from transparent cords. Hundreds of gleaming glass feathers hang suspended above the bar. Armin finds it elegant, but unsettling.

A tall, thin woman in a tight white dress gives them a stern look from the host stand. "Good evening. Your reservation is under...?"

"Ackerman," Levi says.

The woman looks at her screen.

Levi glances around the restaurant. At the far end stands an elevated platform by the windows, looking out onto the water below. One of the tables seats eight men.

"Follow me, please." The hostess leads them to a small booth near the bar. It would be cozy and perfect, except for--

"That table by the window," Levi says, nodding to one right next to the group of eight. "Can we take that one?"

"I'm afraid that one's reserved," she says.

"Yes, but we also had a reservation." Levi stands at a distance so as not to have to crane his neck up to look at her. Armin notices the slightest twitch to his eyes, as though he's trying not to scowl outright.

"I'm sorry, that table is--"

"Is Sayram here?" Levi's voice is curt.

"Excuse me?"

"One of the managers, Sayram. He took our reservation, he's a friend of ours--"

The woman's eyes widen. "Oh. No, he had to leave early today. His wife is sick."

Levi sighs. He fishes a fifty-dollar bill out of his wallet and slips it discreetly to the hostess. "This is a very important evening for us," he says cooly. "If you wouldn't mind, we'd like to sit by the window."

The woman's eyes dart back and forth across the room. She tucks the money into her bra. "Right this way, please."

Armin feels a little pull in his chest from Levi's words. He supposes it is a special evening. It's almost fun to pretend. Nice to be the kind of person someone like Levi is willing to pretend with.

In the light from the oil lamps glowing on the tables, Armin can tell they don't look out of place. He likes the cut of Levi's suit jacket, and the skinny black tie he wears it with. It's closer to what Armin imagines when he thinks of a hitman, rather than their dirt-covered selves climbing out of the van.

"Your server will be with you in just a moment," the hostess says. "If you need anything else," her eyes linger on Levi for a moment, "don't hesitate to ask."

Armin sits facing the window. More of the city lights are visible from across the dark water. Their reflection dissolves into it. It's a beautiful view. No wonder people covet these tables.

Levi reaches for Armin's hand under the table, and it startles Armin. "I know we have work to do." Levi smiles a little. "But I still intend to enjoy this."

A roar of laughter erupts from the table next to them. A bartender with a tray of shots approaches them and a tall, broad man in a gray suit stands up to give a toast. The conversation so far has all been in Russian, and Armin strains his hearing to catch more of what the men are saying.

"More of this preparatory work may be on you." Levi cocks his head.

"I'll do what I can," Armin says. There's a thrill that comes from being useful, followed by a little clinch of dread when he understands what it means that Levi can't do this without him.

I want to help. I want to be worthy of this money. I want this to work.

Then Armin looks at Levi again.

And I want all of it to be your fault, he thinks. He becomes aware of his fingernails, bearing just the faintest trace of dirt.

The large table beside them is covered in empty glasses of all shapes and sizes. A server in a pristine navy uniform clears them in a hurry to make room for the incoming round.

"It's a business merger," Armin says, his voice low under the men's cackling laughter. He listens in again. "Lovoff bought a shipping company. Like, truck freight."

Levi scoffs. "Ilse should have fucking told us that. That explains a lot. Pixis owns a logistics firm. If Lovoff is in shipping, then he can move his own shit around under Pixis's nose--"

"Do you think she knew? What Lovoff does, I mean." It still feels almost heretical to interrupt Levi. Armin cringes a little as the words leave his mouth.

"Probably not. Fuck. I don't know."

Their server arrives with a syrupy politeness that does make Levi's face twitch. Armin would have preferred the hostess's self-important chill himself.

"Is this your first time joining us?" The uniformed man with a neatly trimmed beard hovers over them.

"It is," Levi says.

"Welcome. Are we celebrating a special occasion?"

Levi's expression shifts from one of 'please shut up' to a crafty smile. He looks at Armin. "He just got a promotion."

Armin laughs nervously. He and Levi glance at each other as they tolerate the long-winded explanation of the wine list, the elaborate shochu cocktails that cost eighteen dollars each, and the evening's specials. Armin fights to keep an ear on the conversation next to them without seeming inexcusably disinterested in the food.

"I think we're going to need a moment," Levi says.

"No rush."

No shit, Armin thinks. We'll be here until the drunk Russians go home, whenever that is.

The waiter leaves them with heavy leather-bound menus embossed with a silver pattern of the feathers above the bar.

"Get whatever you want," Levi says.

"I--all right, if you say so."

"It's your interpreter's fee," Levi says.

"Sure. Fair."

A rotating cast of staff brings water, tiny dishes of a dozen kinds of pickles, and silver chopsticks wrapped in silk.

"Everything looks good," Armin says. "Honestly I think I'm just going to get the first thing so I can listen."

"You want me to order for you?"

"Sure." Armin lets his foot touch Levi's under the table. It feels grounding.

Levi bites into a pickled potato. "Fuck."

"What?"

"You have to try this." He points with his chopsticks.

Armin does. Never in his life has he tasted such a fine slice of potato, feather light in spite of the gloss of sesame oil. "This is really distracting," he says.

"Ok, you eat and listen. Don't let me distract you," Levi says. "Though for what it's worth," he grins wryly, "I'm pretty used to working distracted."

Armin cocks his head. "What do you mean?"

"Tch. Working with you, genius." Levi gives Armin's foot a little nudge.

Armin shakes his head and takes another bite.

"I can't stand these guys," he says after a server brings their ludicrous drinks. A bespoke shochu concoction for Armin, and a glass of Levi's standard Yamazaki. "Just like...the sniveling. Like they will say just anything you want to hear, or anything to try to impress you..." But an image of his father flashes in his mind, and suddenly the pickles don't sit so well on his stomach.

"Yeah. Erwin's got some guys like that working for him." Levi crunches up a piece of perfectly spiced kimchi. "Luckily I don't have to deal with them too much."

Somehow I doubt they'd last long around you, Armin thinks. I can't believe I've even lasted this long around you. "So the one with the gray ponytail is Nikolai. The one they keep calling Kolya."

"Ew, that one?" Levi grimaces. "Least he doesn't look like he moves too quickly."

Armin's back stiffens. All I'm doing is getting information. What Levi does with that information is up to him.

Armin runs his hand through his hair.

But whatever he does with it, Armin thinks, this is still the man you're obsessed with, and you have to live with that.

Armin takes another sip of his drink. "So the one to his left, the one that made the toast, that's the one he bought the company from. From what I can tell, the one on his right is a long-standing assistant of some kind. And possibly the designated driver."

Levi nods. The last of the pickles hangs from the end of his chopsticks.

The waiter returns. Armin listens to Levi take a winding tour through the menu. Whatever will keep them at the table as long as they need to be. Soups, dumplings, spare ribs. Heaping bowls of noodles. To start.

"Fabulous," the waiter concludes.

Armin prays he can keep it all down. "These guys are sloshed," he says to Levi once the waiter leaves.

"That much I gathered," Levi says. This time he reaches across the table for Armin's hand, and Armin feels strangely exposed, elevated above the whole restaurant.

Then Lovoff and one of his associates get up from the table and walk toward the bathroom. Armin follows them with his eyes for a moment, then looks up at Levi. He begrudgingly lets go of Levi's hand. "I'll be right back," he says.

**

Armin slips discreetly into a stall at the end of the bathroom while the two men stand at the sinks, washing their hands.

"My daughter keeps telling me I'm a walking heart attack," Lovoff says, laughing at his reflection. "I think she'd like to see it happen, get some of her inheritance early."

His compatriot laughs. "She ought to be satisfied with the salary you give her."

"She gets cocky. She knows I need her. The girls don't trust an old geezer like me."

What girls, Armin wonders. Relatives, children? Or like Erwin's "girls" in the hotel?

The first little wave of dullness from his drink hits him. There's a moment of slience. Armin shuffles awkwardly in the stall.

"You ever figure out what you're going to do about Krolva?" The other man asks.

Lovoff grunts. "You coming to Batumi on Tuesday?"

"Of course."

"Then talk to me about it then. I can barely think about it with him under my nose like this," Lovoff says.

Armin hears the door open and the two men walk out. He steps out of the stall and stands in front of the mirror.

Someone is in Lovoff's way. There's a Krolva at the table, an underling. Does he have it out for Lovoff too, Armin wonders? And Batumi...the Georgian bathhouse...

Armin looks at his reflection one more time before he walks back out to join Levi.

**

The food is disgustingly beautiful. Levi scowls at it. He would take a photo, as clandestinely as possible, if Mikasa hadn't told him to. Now he can't document it at all.

He watches Armin weave through the tables with the same slightly flushed, nervous look he had when Levi first met him. You're cute when you're nervous, but you don't function as well.

An invisible wall exists between the tables. Neither Armin nor Levi wants to look at the men next to them too obviously.

Armin reports what he heard from the bathroom.

"Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if he was a trafficker," Levi says. In reality, Levi has no idea. But Armin needs a hinge, he thinks. He needs to believe it. "There's a whole lot of trafficked labor in this county." It might be true. Forgive me, Levi thinks. But I want this even more for you than I want it for me.

"Do you know Batumi?" Armin asks.

"I've been, but it's been a few years." The bathhouse hosts Turkish, Hungarian, Georgian, and Russian themed rooms, a labyrinth of saunas and whirlpools.

"He made it sound like they go every week," Armin says.

"They probably do," Levi says. He cracks a smile. "Then that's one other place we can follow them."

Armin nods, he fidgets in his seat.

"You should eat something," Levi says.

Armin gives a little nervous laugh and picks up his chopsticks.

Come on, Levi thinks. Don't fade on me. Don't be afraid. I've done this before and I can do it again, so trust me.

"This is good," Levi says. "This is a lot."

"The dumplings?" Armin asks.

"What? No. I mean this, all this." Levi waves his chopsticks around. "Your...reconnaissance. This is a good start."

Armin keeps looking at the food. "I'm glad it's gotten loud in here," he says.

Levi laughs. "No kidding."

"Jesus," Armin says.

"What?"

"Fuck. It's so good."

"I know," Levi says. He squints. "It's so good you hate it, isn't it."

"It is."

They look at each other for a moment.

"Hey, listen," Levi says. "As far as this whole ordeal is concerned, you and I are ahead of schedule, ok? So if you catch anything major, let me know, but let's also just...try to enjoy this offensively good food."

Armin nods. The conversation next to them oscillates between foul and inane. Meanwhile the skyline sparkles behind Levi.

**

By the time the pack of drunk men makes their way to the exit, Armin has had three drinks. Levi has had seven. Their bill came to almost four hundred dollars.

"This man has to die," Levi says.

Armin's gut clenches, both from the massive meal and from Levi's words.

"To pay for all this fucking food," Levi adds.

"Don't say that so loud, they're not that far ahead of us."

They wait behind the men in line for the valet. Armin notes the black BMW that Lovoff's assistant drives him off in. Levi writes down the tag number. Within a few minutes, Armin catches up to them and keeps a careful distance. They're headed north.

"You hear anything else spectacular?" Levi asks. He stifles a little hiccup.

"Uh...well I definitely don't like them any more than I did at the beginning," Armin says. "Not sure there was anything so glaring that it makes me want to kill them, though." Armin was grateful that none of them reminded him of the professors he had liked in Saint Petersburg.

"Leave that part to me," Levi says. "And leave the whole judgment thing up to fate. That's not your job."

They drive in silence for a moment. Armin turns the radio on to a public station. Classical music plays quietly.

"You think too much," Levi says. "Well, it's not a bad thing, but you think too much about the wrong things. That'll slow you down." Levi's speech is a little bit slurred.

"God, you're drunk," Armin says.

"Yes I am. But that does not mean that I am not right." Levi tilts his seat back. "Armin, you get too caught up on the 'deservingness' of it all. People die all the time who don't deserve to die. Do you think my mother deserved to die? No, but cancer had other plans for her. It's how life goes. You and I are neutral forces of nature. For all you know, Lovoff could have a heart attack when he gets up to take a piss in the middle of the night." Levi gestures more exuberantly after this many drinks, Armin notices. "He could walk out into the street and get hit by a bus--"

"I don't think you beating a man to death with a bicycle chain is exactly a neutral force of nature, Levi." Armin feels sober enough to drive, but his words flow more freely than he expects.

"Yes it is," Levi says. "That man put himself in danger by virtue of his choices." Levi burps a little. "It's no different from going hiking where there are bears. Or eating too many fucking pierogies or whatever like Lovoff."

Armin shakes his head and follows Lovoff's car onto an exit for a northside suburb.

"I mean, listen, your job here is almost done, ok? Do you want this money or not?" Levi asks.

Armin hates how much he wants it. How much he wants to be free, at least for a little while. A better apartment. A night out every now and then. Even to spend money on something stupid, like the bottle service at the clubs where Jean plays. Or a cocktail that costs eighteen dollars.

"Do you have a drop point?" Levi asks.

"Uh...I will have one," Armin says. He'll need the next few days between tutoring sessions to scour the suburbs. "Trust me, by the time your side of things is all finished, there will be a drop point."

Levi snickers. "Well said."

The black car turns in to a gated community. Armin doesn't follow him in, but keeps driving.

"Yeah, that place is going to be packed with cameras," Levi says. "I figured as much, but you never know with these guys. Sometimes they spend all their money on clothes and cars and live in shit holes. Anyways. Batumi it is." He folds his hands behind his head and wears a grin of smug satisfaction.

Armin turns around in a driveway. Behind the faint haze of alcohol, there's resentment.

This is easy for you.

This is nothing.

Armin shakes his head and keeps driving. A radio announcer speaks, but Armin doesn't process the words.

Is there something wrong with me, that I can't do this? Or is there something wrong with you?

Armin grips the steering wheel. It makes him feel ill, how smoothly the car drives, how sleek it looked in the parking lot, how easy it is to pretend it was something he earned. How good the food was. How it feels to wear some of his nicest clothes. To be seen with Levi.

No. It's fine. I held up my end of the deal. I get to keep this.

Armin tries to imagine the moments in which his father lost all their money. That doesn't seem like a neutral force of nature. Or is it?

How did it get to be like that, Armin wonders. His father kept so much of his life a secret. It was almost cruel, how good at it he was.

Did my mom know? Was she as selfish as he was? Did she pretend and go along with it all, so she could live the way she wanted, too? Did she go with it because she loved him?

Armin looks at Levi, lying back contentedly in the passenger seat. The lights from the oncoming cars draw moving shadows along his sharp, clean profile.

It doesn't matter, Armin thinks. It's just a job.

**

Levi's body feels heavy from alcohol. It was too much. He tries to speak and his body fights him, slowing him down. Whatever. They got what they came for.

Levi pictures the winding interior of Batumi, with its long corridors between the spas and changing rooms. This could be done quickly. They could follow him again... Maybe a blow to a pressure point. Make it look like a stroke. Maybe...

"There's a prize fight Monday night," Levi says.

Armin glances at him, then back at the road.

"Annie's going to be in the first part of it," Levi says. "Reiner was supposed to do the second half, but he dropped out. I'm going to replace him."

"Wait, what?"

"I'm taking on his opponent."

"I know that, but Monday night?" Armin's voice is thin with veiled irritation.

"I might have a black eye at Batumi, sure, but it'll be fine."

"I thought you weren't doing that anymore," Armin says.

"Well, I stopped for a while, yes, but the prize is eighty grand, so..."

"Jesus," Armin says. "Hang on. Isn't Reiner like, huge? Like six-two, two twenty or something?"

"If it makes you feel any better, I still spar with Mike on the regular," Levi says. "Reiner's never beaten Mike. He's big, but he's slow. I'm not all that worried about some guy who's supposed to be a match for Reiner."

"All right, if you say so. I just think..."

"Armin. I've got a good feeling about this, ok? I'm not going to do anything that's going to throw a wrench in the plan for Lovoff."

"Ok. Fine."

"So are you coming?" Levi asks.

Armin smirks. "To watch you show off?"

"Exactly," Levi says, grinning.

"Fine," Armin says.

"Armin. This will be a warm up."

Armin shrugs and changes lanes.

Levi pulls his phone from his pocket. His vision is just blurred enough that he's grateful for the predictive text when he types to Annie. _Tell Erwin I'll do it._

 _Got it_ , comes the response a second later.

Armin doesn't look away from the road, sullen and lost in thought.

Levi can think faster than his body can respond. He hates the dullness, the delay. Between now and the day they bury Lovoff, no more drinks. Once all is said and done, champagne on the roof of Mitras.

Armin will need to wear something inconspicuous to the fight, preferably something with a hood. It will be difficult to make someone so bright blend in with a crowd of monsters, Levi thinks.

But the real monster will be me, and I need you to see it. You've seen me work, but you've never seen me play. You've seen me take out hapless targets, but you've never seen me against someone prepared to fight. If you can handle that, then you can handle all of me.

Watch me and trust me so you can quit worrying.

To Levi's surprise, Armin cracks a smile.

"So where are you taking me when you get an extra eighty grand?"

"I'll take you to fucking Disney World," Levi says.

"Can't wait." Armin finds the exit for Levi's apartment.

**

"Come in with me," Levi says as Armin parks.

"You are still so drunk."

"I won't be drunk in the morning." Levi reaches over and runs his hand through Armin's hair.

"Are you going to be so hung over you can't move?" Armin laughs a little, but he leans into Levi's touch.

"Do you think a mere hangover has ever stopped me?" Levi's breath still smells like whiskey.

Armin rolls his eyes.

"Come in with me," Levi says.

"All right." Armin gets out of the car and the door slams louder than he intends.

Levi's panther-like gait is gone, and now he drags his body heavily to the door and fumbles with his keys.

This is the version of Levi that Armin likes the least, he realizes. He's gotten so used to every movement of Levi's being smooth and controlled, like a gymnast's. There was something subtly reassuring about that.

Armin sighs and follows Levi into the foyer. I have to give him a break, he is human after all.

A white sweatshirt hangs on a hook by the door. For a second, Armin is confused. Then he realizes it's Annie's. Light bleeds out from beneath the door to Mikasa's room. He can barely discern the sound of voices.

Levi slips off his shoes and leans back against the wall for a moment with his eyes shut.

"You all right?" Armin asks. He steps closer.

Levi reaches out and embraces him. He rests his forehead on Armin's shoulder. It's pleasant, but strange, to feel Levi's weight on him like this. Armin feels Levi's ribcage expand and contract beneath his shirt.

"I just have to sleep this off," Levi says. "I could have done without those last two drinks. Could have bought myself another case of tea instead."

They stand together in the foyer for a moment, quiet. Levi kisses Armin's neck and stands back up.

Armin's phone chimes. He looks at is as they walk down the hall.

 _Arminnn_  
 _Are you moving in with Levi?_ Eren asks.

"What's up?" Levi asks.

"It's Eren again."

 _Yes_ , Armin types. _Jean can have my room._

_omg really??_

"God, he can be such an idiot," Armin mutters.

"So I gathered." Levi hangs up his blazer and starts to undo his tie.

 _No I'm just staying over I'll be back in the morning_ , Armin types.

"I want to move out," Armin says.

Levi hands him a hanger for his clothes. They finish undressing. "You want to live alone?"

"Maybe. I don't know. I love Eren but he's a shitty roommate." Armin resents needing Eren, how much Eren pulls him out of his shell and back into the real world. He takes the extra bathrobe from its hook and slips it on. "Why do you live with Mikasa?" Armin asks.

Levi lets his robe hang open. He rubs his face. "We could get a nicer place on two incomes," he says, the slur slowly wearing off. "But you know the real reason?" He opens the door to the bathroom. "She reminds me of my mom." Levi sighs heavily and reaches for his toothbrush. "All the fights I never got to have with her, I have with Mikasa instead." He gives a dry little laugh.

As they stand at the wide sink brushing their teeth, Armin notices the darkness under Levi's eyes.

**

Levi is as still as a corpse when he sleeps, and as silent. Armin rolls over on his side. He feels an impulse to raise his hand to Levi's nostrils to feel for the stream of air. At least the heat that emanates from his body is reassuring.

Levi would tell you not to be so paranoid, Armin thinks.

The street light through the blinds casts long stripes over the edge of the bed, and Armin wonders if Levi's ever been to prison.

I wouldn't last an hour in a prison, he thinks. I think I'd just about rather die than deal with those people in a place like that.

Armin draws his knees to his chest.

But Erwin has so many connections. They have this down to a science...and who was that crooked cop? What was her name, Nanette? Nanaba? She made it sound like there were so many more...

Armin feels jealous of Levi the human statue.

We ate and drank so much. Why can't I just fucking fall asleep?

Armin edges up closer to Levi. He drapes his arm across him and lays his head on Levi's chest.

Levi yawns. "You all right?"

Armin says nothing, he just nods.

**

The sheets and blankets are heaped up into a massive ball at the end of the bed when the sun comes up. Levi stirs, unpleasantly cool. This doesn't happen when he sleeps alone. Did Armin just fidget all night?

Armin lies on his stomach next to him. His hair hangs over his face. Levi lightly brushes it to the side, but it doesn't wake Armin up.

When Levi sits up, there's a sudden ache in his head, and the sensation of heaviness in his limbs. Shit. Levi sighs and rubs his temples.

Armin doesn't need to know this.

Levi reaches for the end of the sheet and yanks it back over himself and Armin. It floats slowly down onto them, diffusing the light.

Levi rubs Armin's back, his skin is cool from the air conditioning.

Armin peels open one eye and lets out a little groan. "What time is it?"

Levi shrugs. "Early. Go back to sleep." He feels Armin sigh underneath the weight of his hand.

The dullness of the hangover pins him to the mattress. But it's peaceful, being next to Armin. Levi tries to focus on that.

This is what I want, for both of us. For you to not be worried.

Levi pictures the warehouse arena by the docks. He imagines himself standing over a bloody-faced Zeke, heaving beneath him, and finding Armin's face in the crowd. Everyone will be yelling, squabbling over their bets, except Armin, who will probably be saying nothing, just staring.

And that's the point at which I want you to stop worrying, Levi thinks. It was enough to convince Erwin, it should be enough to convince you.

**

When Levi wakes up again, Armin is gone. The robe is gone from its hook and Levi hears murmuring voices from the living room. He grabs his phone off the night table. Quarter to ten.

Fuck. I never sleep this late.

The headache is not much better.

Levi forces himself to stand up and put on his robe. The hallway seems longer than usual.

Annie and Mikasa stand in gym clothes with their bags slung over their shoulders. Armin sits at the kitchen counter with a cup of coffee.

"Oh, good, you're alive," Mikasa says. "I was just about to send Armin back in to check for a pulse."

"I," Levi says, "am feeling just as fresh a spring chicken, thank you very much." He reaches in a drawer for a tin of tea.

Mikasa laughs. "You look like you got punched in the face."

Levi scowls. "Yeah, well, so do you before you put your makeup on." Levi has, on occasion, stolen just the tiniest bit of concealer from Mikasa's vanity table.

"Shut up," Mikasa says. This time it's Annie who laughs.

"Anyways, where are you two off to?" Levi looks at them.

"I'm going to go beat up my girlfriend," Mikasa says.

"Right." Levi sprinkles green tea leaves into his cast iron pot. "Knock yourselves out," he says with a smirk.

"Ok, we are leaving now," Annie says, chuckling. She grabs Mikasa's elbow and pulls her into the foyer.

Levi sighs when the door clicks shut behind Mikasa. He feels like his brain is sloshing around the inside of his skull, a half second behind the rest of his body. It's been a long time since he needed to drink for a job. Or did need have anything to do with it?

"You sure you're all right?" Armin asks.

"Tch. I'm fine." Levi fills the pot with water from the countertop boiler.

Armin raises an eyebrow.

"What, you want me to prove it to you?" Levi asks.

"I didn't say anything." Armin sips his coffee.

"Come here." Levi leans across the counter, takes Armin's face in his hands, and kisses him. But the downward pull of leaning feels stronger than normal.

I am not going to be gravity's bitch today, Levi thinks. No fucking way.

Armin smiles at him softly for a moment when they pull apart.

"You need a shower," Levi says.

"What?" Armin's face contorts. He glances down at himself.

"I've decided you need one," Levi says. "Come on."

"You're not even going to drink your--"

"Nope. Shower time." Levi grabs Armin's wrist. Armin laughs and follows him.

The hallway is tilting slightly to the left. God damn it. Not today.

"Turn the water on," Levi says. "I'll be right back." He retrieves a condom from the drawer of the night table and gives himself a couple of strokes.

Everything is in working order. I will it to be so.

Warm mist fills the air of the bathroom when Levi walks in. He lays the condom by the sink, swipes the curtain to the side, and steps into the metal basin.

Armin leans back against the wall, his hair already wet and silvery.

Levi grabs Armin's hips, and Armin runs his thumb lightly along Levi's jaw.

"You do look tired," Armin says.

"No," Levi says with a wicked smile. "I look like I'm about to kill two people and take you to Florida."

Armin rests his forehead to Levi's collarbone. "Jesus Christ."

Levi tilts Armin's chin up with his finger and kisses him again.

Armin steps back. Levi presses him lightly against the wall and kisses him beneath his ear, then kisses his neck. Levi gets the little gasp and shudder out of Armin that he wanted. He kisses Armin's collarbone, the center of his chest, his navel. Then he kneels down and reaches for the growing erection that feels so pleasant in his mouth, a size that doesn't make him choke.

Levi ignores the faint sensation of spinning in his head. He grips the inside of Armin's thigh with one hand and teases him with the other, still swirling is tongue around Armin's shaft.

Armin rests his hands on Levi's shoulders. Levi finds the cautious grip endearing. He feels Armin getting harder in his mouth. Armin's panting breath echoes against the walls. But this isn't how Levi wants him to come. Levi draws back and licks the tight plane of muscle at the base of Armin's abdomen. He slides another exploratory finger carefully into Armin and feels his body begin to quiver and twitch around him.

"I'm like, um...not going to be able to...stand up like this..."

"Then don't stand up," Levi says. He slowly pulls his hand out, the other one tight around his own swelling cock. "Hang on a second." Levi rinses his hand in the stream of the shower, then reaches for the condom and slips it on. "Here," he says. He reaches for Armin's thigh and guides him to wrap his legs around his waist.

Armin hesitates.

"What?" Levi says,

Armin glances at the floor, then back at Levi.

"We can do something else," Levi says.

"No, it's not that..."

"Armin, I'm not going to fucking drop you."

Armin laughs, and the laugh is so sincere and sparkling that for a moment, Levi forgets the ache in his body.

Levi licks Armin's neck. "Didn't I pick you up out of that fine grave you kicked me into?"

"Uh...yes. Yes, you did."

"Come here."

Armin presses some of his weight into the wall, and lets Levi's arms take care of the rest.

Ok. I've got this. Yes. Everything is fine.

Levi hoists Armin up a little higher and lets gravity do its work. Armin descends slowly onto Levi's cock. Levi presses him harder into the wall. All of it gives him a rush: Armin's tightness, the tension in his muscles as he holds him up. The feeling of ferocity he gets from working out, but better, by orders of magnitude. Levi finds Armin's neck again and grazes it with his teeth.

This. This is how I want you to come.

Levi starts with slow, hard thrusts, made more intense by the resistance of the wall. He crushes Armin's body against it.

Armin's grip on Levi's shoulders tightens, and it spurs him on. Armin tilts the angle of his hips ever so slightly, and--

Yes. Like this. This is what I wanted.

A feeling of greedy victory overcomes Levi. Armin's body clenches hard around him as he comes. The sudden surge of it brings Levi closer.

Not just yet.

Armin begins to relax, and Levi reaches his peak. He bites Armin's shoulder, just hard enough not to leave a mark. That wave of ecstasy passes through Levi's body.

Armin slips down a couple of inches and goes suddenly stiff.

No.

Levi braces himself against Armin and the wall and fights the hangover and the hormones with all his might. No fucking way.

After a few deep breaths, Armin seems relaxed again. Levi just holds him against the wall for a moment. The gravity of the alcohol and the levity of orgasm are at war in his body. Levi refuses to let it impact his grip. He refuses to take a breath of relief, as though anything were wrong.

"Uh, Levi?" Armin asks after a minute.

"Hm?"

"Um...are you..."

Levi's face cracks into its wicked grin. "No," he says. "I am never going to let you down."

Armin laughs. "You are the most ridiculous person I have ever met."

Levi nibbles Armin's ear. "What an honor."

Levi pulls out slowly and carefully, and Armin releases his legs. Levi feels suddenly bitter when he realizes how sore his arms are. He's disoriented stepping out of the tub to towel off. He moves slowly so as not to give anything away.

"When do you have to go back?" Levi asks.

"Not until late this afternoon," Armin says. He won't have to tutor until 5.

"Come lie back down with me."

Armin wrings his hair out with his towel. "You don't have to ask." He smiles at Levi.

That's it, Levi thinks. That's a smile I would kill a man to see.

Levi follows Armin into his room. Armin stretches back out on the bed, and Levi picks up his phone from the night stand.

 _I need a favor._ Levi types a text to Mike. _Meet me at the gym tonight if you can._

"Everything ok?" Armin asks. He yawns and stretches.

Levi lies down next to him. "Yeah," he says. "Absolutely."


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi's fight is one of the most awful things Armin has ever seen.

Armin has come up with a series of math games for Lucian. Make it into a game, and it bypasses all of his resistance, all the squeamishness and anxiety brought on by numbers. Armin takes a bag of colorful game dice out of his backpack. They clatter onto the table when he pours them out. Lucian smiles and picks up a shiny D20. 

While Lucian drills multiplication tables and works through probability problems, Armin entertains math problems of his own.

If Armin earns $135,000.00 from Dot Pixis and launders it through his fake job at Trost Brewery, how long will it take him to pay off his student loans?

If Armin makes $2,500.00 for every body he buries, how many enemies of Erwin's does Levi have to kill for Armin to pay off the funeral costs and his debt to Eren?

If it takes an average of four hours canvassing neighborhoods, three and a half hours digging, and ninety minutes of driving to handle each body, how much more money per hour does Armin make working for Erwin Smith than tutoring Lucian Dach?

Christ on a stick, Armin thinks.

Marie walks into the dining room with a plate of freshly baked cookies. "How are you two doing?"

"Oh. Great," Armin says. "Thank you."

Lucian throws another handful of dice and scribbles numbers down in his notebook. Marie looks pleased.

"Ok, Lucian, if this cookie has eight chocolate chips in it," Armin pulls one from the plate, "And this one has eleven," he hands one to Lucian, "and this one has nine," he points to another, "what's the average number of chocolate chips per cookie?" 

Lucian grins. "I like this problem."

As the session ends, Armin hears cars pulling up in the driveway. Marie is hosting a dinner party.

"Are you sure you don't want to join us?" she asks.

"I really wish I could," Armin says. He has no plans, except to smoke shisha on the porch with Eren and the neighbors. It'll take enough effort to lie to Eren. The thought of meeting Niall and Marie's friends makes Armin sweat like a whore in church. 

Armin opens the door to his car when he hears a familiar voice. Erwin walks up the long driveway alongside Niall. 

"Armin," Niall says. "Aren't you going to stay for dinner?"

"It's really so nice of you to invite me," Armin says. "If I hadn't already made plans, I absolutely would." 

"By the way, Erwin, this is Armin Arlert," Niall says. "Lucian's tutor."

"Pleasure to meet you." Erwin gives Armin a firm handshake and a blazing, knowing smile. 

Armin doesn't waste time sitting in his car. He leaves immediately. This is exactly the kind of thing he should go to, to meet all the well-connected, well-heeled friends of the Dachs', and talk himself into a job.

Oh, but you already did that at Trost, didn't you?

A shadow seems to hang over the Dachs' house now. How much do any of these people even know about each other, Armin wonders. Maybe he should have stayed just to listen to Erwin lie and observe a master at work. 

**

Levi hunted them down. He dug through files from Nanaba, queried Hange endlessly, and shadowed Ilse all over her former territory. But there's something noble about hunting, Levi thought. An animal hunts to live. He supposed this wasn't hunting, just merely killing. 

He made no grand show of it. No Hange-style mutilations, no warnings left on doorsteps. No, they had taken out his squad with a single round of gunfire and no ceremony, so Levi worked unceremoniously. In his mind he was merely a janitor, cleaning up a mess. It was as if a priceless sculpture had shattered. There would be no putting it back together, what was lost was gone. But still, someone had to sweep up the dust, and Levi picked them off, speck by speck. 

Except for Zeke. Zeke had left no trace, and Zeke hadn't fired when he had the chance. 

Levi scowls and throws a change of clothes into his gym bag. 

There was one other thing about Zeke that had been bothering Levi. Levi strains to remember the details of the man's face. He looked familiar. He looked like spacey Eren from the bar, but older, and with white hair. 

It's probably nothing, Levi thinks. 

The sheets on the bed are still piled up from Armin's visit. A little monument. Levi knows he should wash them and change them, but it can wait. The air smells slightly different, and Levi likes it. 

He grabs his hand wraps from the drawer and shoves them in the bag. There will be no gloves for the fight, but Levi still intends to preserve the integrity of his wrists. 

Mike waits for Levi in the back corner of the mostly empty gym. Not the sleek fitness club Petra goes to, but a smaller one on the edge of the industrial district that borders Levi's neighborhood. 

"You really want to do this," Mike says. It's more obvious when a man his height slouches from fatigue.

"Yes I do."

"You are the craziest son of a bitch I have ever met," Mike says.

I'm also the best thing that ever happened to your marriage to Erwin, so get over it, Levi thinks. "What do you know about Zeke?"

"Not a goddamn thing," Mike says .

"Did you see Reiner recently?" Levi asks.

"I haven't," Mike says. "Look, Levi, Erwin's not about to send you off to the gallows here. If he thought this Zeke were a threat, he either wouldn't let you near him, or he'd send you off with that rifle of Hange's to take him out from a distance."

A wave of dread passes through Levi. If only you knew, he thinks.

"All right, you throw all the punches you want, but I don't have it in me to go at it full force tonight," Mike says.

"It's fine," Levi says. 

Mike slips the thick foam pads over his arms and prepares his stance for the force of Levi's blows.

Levi cracks his neck, then cracks his knuckles. His body knows what to do, and he slips out of his conscious mind and into the ingrained wisdom of his muscles. A body that's been fighting for as long as Levi can remember. 

Even former boxer Mike struggles to keep up, moving the targets to test Levi. The handful of other patrons at the weight racks look on with curiosity. 

After a few minutes, both of them are out of breath and glowing with sweat. 

"You're gonna kill this guy, aren't you?" Mike says.

Levi wipes his brow. "I hope I fucking kill him."

Mike narrows his eyes. "You know this guy from somewhere?"

"Tch." Levi wrings his hands out and prepares for another bout. "No."

**

The metallic sound of the crickets and cicadas blocks out the noise from the street. Only crumbs remain of the plate of baklava and halva. The neighbors have retreated inside to go to bed, and Eren places a fresh coal on top of the hookah. Jean takes a draw, and a long white plume of smoke unfurls in the air above him against the dark sky. 

Armin swirls the last sip of his beer around the bottom of its glass bottle. He sinks into his seat, his body sore from the morning with Levi. But Armin likes the constant reminder of it, the feeling of being wanted that follows him around all day. Maybe eventually he'll get used to it. But it would even be nice to be used to it, for that feeling to be a new normal.

It's a pleasant night. And a little bit boring. Armin looks around the backyard, wild and unkempt near the fence. He wonders what Levi would think of it. 

He sighs and realizes he wishes Levi were there. Would Levi even like it? Could he put up with Eren and Jean? Or would he be reservedly polite around them and save his snark for once he's out of earshot?

"You should have invited Levi," Eren says.

"Yeah, he, uh...couldn't make it," Armin says. "Next time."

"What's he up to?" Jean lays the hose back on the table.

"He's in a boxing tournament," Armin says. "So he's getting ready for that." He immediately regrets it. That's too much, too far.

"Whoa, seriously?" Eren picks up the hose. "That's intense."

"I mean, he's kind of an intense guy," Armin says. He makes a mental note to tell Levi he's a boxer now, apparently.

Eren grins and nods. 

"He still giving you shit at work?" Jean asks.

"Actually yeah," Armin says. "It's worse than it used to be."

"It's 'cause he's into you," Jean says.

"Definitely seems that way." Armin smiles in spite of himself.

"Dude, he like practically kidnapped you," Eren says through a puff of smoke. 

"Hey, can I have your room?" Jean asks.

"Tch. Yeah. It's all yours," Armin says. He takes the hose from Eren. 

"Hey, what are you doing Monday?" Eren asks. 

"Oh," Armin says. "I uh...I told Levi I'd come see his fight." 

**

Armin hunts through his pile of laundry for a hooded sweatshirt. Nothing. 

Shit. 

He opens the door to Eren's room and flings open the door to the closet. He pulls a forest green hoodie off a hanger and slips it on. 

Sorry, Eren. I'll give it back to you later.

It hangs a little loosely on his body, but perhaps it's just as well. At least Eren washed it. Armin pulls up the hood and looks in the mirror. He tucks his hair behind his ears so it doesn't show. You look ridiculous, he thinks. Like an off-duty Christmas elf from the mall. This is why we don't wear green. 

He doesn't drive because he doesn't want his car to be seen anywhere near the fight. He climbs into a cab and gets out in front of an unremarkable sports bar near the north side docks. 

The cigarette smoke is thick and reflects the light from the flickering screens. Armin approaches the bar. A woman with a bandana wrapped around her hair leans over.

"I'm looking for Connie," Armin says. It was what Levi told him to say. 

She points to the corner. "That door. You get to the end of the hall, you'll go outside. You're gonna walk about a hundred yards, you'll see the green door. Down the stairs."

Armin nods. His feet stick to the floor as he walks. He passes the kitchen and storage rooms, and pushes the heavy door open. The night air is surprisingly cool. He keeps a distance from the figures in front of him. The gravel crunches under their feet and echoes off the cinderblock walls of the wide alley. Armin prays no one will notice him or talk to him. He wishes he were invisible. 

He follows the men in hoods and hats down the stairs and walks as quietly as his feet will allow. It feels like sneaking in to see an execution. 

Single bare bulbs illuminate the long corridor. As they reach the end, Armin hears noise. The room they walk into is frenetic, crowded and loud. 

Connie stands in the middle of the elevated ring in a black jacket with gold sleeves and a snapback hat. Armin recognizes him from the parking garage, cleaning up blood for Levi.

"Look at this one!" Connie points to a figure in the crowd. "He already foaming at the mouth and he ain't even fighting. Hey man, ain't no rules saying we can't have a round three." A wave of laughter rises. Connie's voice is clear and bright over the noise. Levi didn't mention he was the MC. "Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, mostly gentlemen, ain't that a goddamn shame, I know, I know. Place your bets, get yourselves ready..."

A few men jostle their way through the crowd, writing down the others' bets in paper ledgers. Armin finds it strange, but he supposes the ink is easy to confirm and harder to fake. 

He shrinks back away from them. No one talk to me. He thinks it would looks suspicious not to place a bet, but how much could he even bet on Levi? A hundred? A thousand? What would look the least unusual? Armin doesn't want to stick around afterwards to claim the money anyway. Not with this crowd. Please, he thinks, can't be we just get this over with? Get Levi his money and get back to the original plan?

Connie continues to taunt and work the crowd, picking people out to make jokes about. "Yeah, that's right, y'all dressed for a funeral. But who's it gonna' be?"

Armin doesn't like that joke. He moves carefully toward the ring. He detects a faint smell of blood. He wonders if they use this room for dog fights. 

How many corpses have you laid in the earth, Armin wonders. That blood didn't seem to bother you.

But it did at the time, Armin realizes. Maybe you should be glad some blood still bothers you at all. 

"Been a long time since we had any ladies in the ring," Connie says. "Tonight we got us two gorgeous monsters--'scuse me--ladies, about to get tore up."

The fluorescent bars overhead cast hard shadows on the hooded, hatted crowd. Then something gleams. On the other side of the ring, Armin spots a woman in silver aviator sunglasses and a red trench coat. Mikasa.

He slithers through the crowd in her direction. He hates this place. He would rather be digging with Levi behind an abandoned building. At least there they would get to be alone together. I can do this work, but I can do without this mass of creeps.

Mikasa says nothing at all when Armin reaches her. She doesn't even smile. Armin stands next to her. Then, to his surprise, she puts her arm around his shoulder. 

Armin finds himself grateful for the touch. But Mikasa seems tense, not her usual, languid, panther-like self. In a way it feels nice to be claimed and have a chaperone. But then, who is comforting whom?

Two doors open suddenly on either side of the room. 

"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the ring, Fritz Venom and Anarchy Annie!" Connie shouts. The crowd explodes in cheers and whistles. 

Oh god, it's all so campy, Armin thinks. Wait a second, does Levi have a dumb nickname too?

Annie's challenger stands roughly her height, but covered in tattoos, including a black and white lotus that takes up most of her shaved head. Wide, heavy gages punctuate her ears. She has a face like a tackle box, as Armin's mother would have said. She must be confident, Armin thinks, to leave the piercings in. 

Annie wears a white coat that would make her look a little bit like an evil nun if it weren't for her sunglasses that match Mikasa's. She walks out with Bertolt who takes the coat from her. The two women wear simple black running bras and shorts, their feet bare, their hands tightly wrapped. 

"Y'all ready for this?" Connie yells. "Y'all ready to see this shit? I tell y'all, ladies and gentlemen, hell is empty and the devils are all here!"

Connie's not much taller or bigger than Armin, and yet he takes up the entire ring as he gets the crowd hyped up. How does he have so much swagger? Armin cringes a little. It doesn't help that the two women stepping into the ring could probably kill him if they wanted to. Armin always hated feeling scrawny and small for his age as a kid. The only place he felt he had any physical skill whatsoever was the tennis club. But what a far cry that place is from this. 

"Ladies, you know the rules! No holds barred, last left standing wins! Are you ready?"

They nod.

Connie steps back to the edge of the ring. "Then FIGHT!"

They circle each other for a moment before Fritz takes the first swipe. Annie dodges it easily. Fritz ducks away from a kick aimed at her head. For the first few minutes of the fight, it looks like typical kickboxing to Armin. Blows, blocks, and dodges. Almost artistic. But only while things remain vertical. 

Fritz gets closer, but Annie's sweeping kick lands her on the ground. Fritz kicks Annie's feet out from underneath her, and rolls her into a headlock.

Annie takes a sharp elbow to Fritz's gut and wrenches herself free. In the instant that Fritz spends doubled over, Annie presses her shoulders down. She pins Fritz to the ground with her knee on her chest. She pulls her fist back to punch Fritz in the face, but Fritz catches it in her palm. No one expects Annie to use the diversion to rip one of the gages from Fritz's ear. The room fills with screams.

Mikasa remains silent, her breathing still tense. Armin feels sick. There's a visceral thrill to seeing Annie winning, but he still hates to watch. He hates this dog-eat-dog, law-of-the-jungle atmosphere. In that system, he can only lose. 

Fritz, in spite of her bleeding ear, manages an uppercut to Annie's chin. 

Armin realizes he feels ashamed. Annie probably weighs as much as he does, but she turned herself into a fighting machine. All of Erwin's assassins did. They had no great advantage either, but they still trained what they had. Armin sighs under the weight of Mikasa's arm. 

Fritz rolls out from under Annie, a long glistening red trail down her neck. Annie dodges a swipe to her face and lands a kick to the center of Fritz's chest. This is going to be over soon. 

I never wanted to learn how to fight, Armin thinks. 

He liked tennis because it was fun. There was something graceful about it. A game with rules. Sure, there was training. But nothing as grueling as this.

Annie kneels on top of Fritz again and punches her face over and over. Even with the wraps on her hands, the piercings cut up her knuckles, and blood soaks into the white fabric. The crowd continues to holler. Fritz lies still and Annie stands up. But before she looks up, she gives Fritz one last swift, sharp kick to the ribs.

She slicks her sweat-soaked hair out of her face and raises her fist to the air with a victorious roar.

Jesus, Armin thinks. That was terrifying. And fucking gross. 

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have our round one winner. Give it up for Anarchy Annie!" Connie yells. This time the crowd almost does drown him out. 

Mikasa sighs heavily and drops her arm from Armin's shoulder.

"You ok?" Armin asks.

"Yeah, I am now," Mikasa says. 

Annie's breathing is hard and her hands seem to glow red. She gives Mikasa a little wink and staggers out of the ring to meet Bertolt. She leans on him as she makes her way back to the green room. Two simply dressed people who Armin thinks must be medics gather Fritz up delicately from the ground. 

"Did you know she would win?" Armin asks. He leans in close so as not to speak too loudly.

"I mean I figured she would," Mikasa says. "But you never know with these things." 

No, Armin thinks. You don't. 

He feels nauseous again. He looks at the door Annie walked through. Levi must be behind it, with Erwin's other staff. 

"Brutal!" Connie shouts. "Fucking brutal. But I tell you what, ladies and gentlemen, that's an appetizer. Y'all ready for the main course?"

Armin expects someone to come out and mop up the blood. No one does. 

"Now, I gotta tell ya," Connie says. "I been doing this for a long time. I seen some shit. Yeah, he knows what I'm talking about." Connie points to a man in the crowd. "But you know what I ain't seen a long damn time? Captain fucking Levi and Zeke the goddamn beast!" Connie points to each of the doors. 

"What the--'Captain Levi'?" Armin's face contorts. "That's his nickname?" He turns to Mikasa.

"Yep."

"You've got to be kidding."

"Nope."

"How the hell did they start calling him that?" Armin shoves his hands in his pockets. 

The doors open again and the men walk out. Levi has his predatory gait back. Mike lumbers along next to him, his handler.

"Oh, it was Connie who came up with it. Levi was wearing a striped shirt for one of his fights, and in the moment Connie couldn't remember the word for 'sailor,' so when Levi won, it was all, 'you're the captain now, dog,'" Mikasa says. "Plus Levi was the captain of his squad."

His squad? Levi had mentioned having associates, but not a team.

"That's the dumbest thing I ever heard," Armin says. Fear and disdain have never mingled within him at the same time like this. 

"Well, it stuck," Mikasa says. "Honestly I think Levi liked it. He'd never admit it, though."

Levi walks up the steps to the ring.

Mikasa's face cracks into a smile. "Try calling him that in bed sometime."

Armin's stomach ties itself in another knot. "Oh my god." 

Then he gets a closer look at Zeke's face, and feels suddenly confused. He had expected someone much more brutish looking. But something about Zeke looks familiar. 

Connie stands with his hands on his hips. "Well. It's been a minute." He looks at the two fighters. "Man, time ain't been kind to you, you got some Father Christmas bullshit going on," he says to Zeke. He gets a dry laugh out of Zeke, but Levi remains completely stone faced. It's Zeke's laugh that tips Armin off. He looks similar to Eren. 

In the second that Connie addresses Zeke, Armin notices Levi glance at the pool of blood on the side of the ring. 

I knew you'd think that was gross, Armin thinks. 

"All right, all right. Let's cut the crap, we'll get straight to it. Y'all ready?"

Zeke nods. Levi merely blinks.

I'm not, Armin thinks. 

Zeke isn't as broad as Reiner, but he's still tall. How can this possibly be a fair fight?

Mikasa rubs Armin's back and Armin sighs. He told you to trust him, so, just trust him. 

But it's still hard.

"FIGHT!" Connie screams. 

To Armin's surprise, Zeke lunges for Levi immediately, with no hesitation. Levi blocks and dodges every blow. He wasn't kidding about being fast. But he's clearly on the defensive, and Zeke has longer arms.

Oh, fuck, Armin thinks. Zeke is trying to tire him out.

Armin cringes. His whole body hurts watching. Levi has yet to get a single strike in.

Zeke aims another punch at Levi, and Levi uses the force of it to throw Zeke onto the ground.

Of course, Armin thinks. Judo.

But Zeke immediately catches Levi's ankle and pulls him down. Levi's chin hits the floor of the ring, hard. Zeke rises up and slams his elbow into Levi's kidney. Levi's body spasms in response.

No, Armin thinks. No no no no no. This is not how this fight is supposed to go.

In the second that Zeke draws back for another blow, Levi rolls over and kicks Zeke in the face. The impact knocks him back.

Zeke should have pinned him down the way Annie did to Fritz, Armin thinks. Bad move for him.

Levi stomps Zeke hard in the middle of his chest, but it's not enough. Zeke manages to push Levi off of him.

This time Zeke does pin him down.

No, Armin thinks. Stop. What are you doing? Please, stop---

Armin can't tell if it's his imagination, or if he actually hears the sound of Levi's ribs cracking under Zeke's weight in spite of the yelling crowd.

Please, stop. Please just call it off. 

Zeke lands hard punches to Levi's face. 

Oh my god, you're going to blind him. You're going to break his neck. 

Armin doesn't want to start crying, especially not surrounded by these people. But his eyes sting and his face burns and--

Levi headbutts Zeke and hoists the stunned man off of him.

Zeke shakes his head and gathers his wits.

Levi stands at the far edge of the ring, seething. His body heaves and he makes a horrible liquid sound when he breathes. Blood spills from his nose and mouth and soaks into the top of his white t-shirt. The sides of his face are beginning to bruise, but both of his eyes are open and moving in unison. 

How the hell is he standing upright, Armin wonders. What supernatural force is making him walk?

Zeke starts for Levi again, and they're back to the blocking and dodging of the beginning. Armin feels like he might faint. 

Then he notices something. Levi is moving toward the pool of Fritz's blood. Blood that Zeke doesn't see.

Zeke slips. Levi aims a high kick to Zeke's face as he starts to fall. Zeke lands on his back, and Levi jumps on him. He slams his feet as hard as he can into Zeke's chest and abdomen, then kicks his face over and over again. Drips of blood fly from the tip of Levi's steel-toed boot.

Armin's never witnessed anything so savage. 

Zeke quits moving. 

**

Everything is spinning. Levi's ears ring. Connie is being obnoxious and shouting something. 

Levi braces his arms against his thighs to stay vertical. The crowd is yelling. Levi won.

He drops to his knees and leans over Zeke.

"Why did you do it," he chokes more than says. "Why did you...throw the grenade...instead of shooting..."

Zeke is halfway conscious. "You work for...Erwin Smith," Zeke says, his mouth full of blood.

"Course I fucking work for Erwin Smith--" 

"My mother worked for Erwin Smith," Zeke wheezes, audible only to Levi.

Connie approaches and Levi holds a hand up. Not yet. Not yet for Mike to escort him out of the ring, not yet for his body to go into shock from the pain.

"She sold...drugs...for him..." Zeke is fading.

"So what about it," Levi growls.

A tiny smile forms from Zeke's bloody lips. "Ask Erwin...about...Dina Jaeger..."

Zeke blacks out. 

Levi can't stave it off any longer. The wave of pain in his body that overwhelms him is unbearable. 

The last thing he sees before he collapses is Armin's face in the crowd, staring in disbelief.

**

"The fuck was that all about," Mike mutters. He and Bertolt carry Levi down the narrow hallway. Armin and Mikasa walk quickly behind them.

"What do you mean?" Mikasa says. 

"That bit at the end," Mike says. "The talking. You think Zeke threw that fight?"

"Are you kidding?" Mikasa scowls. "Look at him!" She nods toward Levi on the stretcher. "Look at both of them!"

Mike shakes his head.

"Oh, just ask him when he wakes up," Mikasa says.

When. And when will that be, Armin wonders. He watches the subtle rise of Levi's chest. From the surge of adrenaline Armin feels almost as if it was him that was fighting instead. 

To Armin's surprise they walk straight past the green room and outside, into a mostly empty gravel parking lot. An ambulance waits with its back doors open, bright lights shining from inside. 

Annie sits with a woman (at least Armin thinks its a woman, he's not entirely sure) who finishes putting tiny sutures in her hands. Nearly half of Annie's face is covered in bandages. 

"What the...you're taking him to the hospital?" Armin looks around, confused.

"No, we're taking him to the Doctor's," Mikasa says. She points at Hange. "This is the Doctor. Zoe Hange."

Hange's glasses shine ominously as Mike and Bertolt load Levi in. 

"Right," Armin says.

"Ok, you coming or not?" Mikasa climbs in the back of the ambulance. Armin follows her. Hange closes the doors behind them. Bertolt and Mike take the driver's and front passenger seats.

"So how did you...get an ambulance?" Armin sits tentatively on a jump seat with his hand on an unscathed patch of Levi's shoulder. 

"It's not real," Hange says, sorting through her suture kit. "It is, however, a perfect replica of an ambulance in use at Mount Sina hospital." She grins with pride.

Armin says nothing for the rest of the trip. He tries to stay out of Hange's way, but doesn't want to quit touching Levi.

Hange cuts Levi's bloody t-shirt off of him. When Levi seizes up for a moment from being poked, Armin wants to slap Hange in the face. And yet he's grateful to see a reaction at all.

Armin rests his fingers delicately underneath Levi's neck and lightly strokes his fuzzy undercut. He watches Hange work, cleaning as much blood as she can off of Levi, examining what needs stitches and what doesn't.

Armin's eyes start to burn again. No, he thinks, not here either. Come on, you can hold out for just a little while longer. 

He looks at Levi again. Dark bruises are forming on his face, swollen from the impact. Hange fetches ice packs wrapped in clean white towels and lays them against Levi's cheek and jaw. 

Well. At least you won. You'll get your money soon, Armin thinks. And you're alive. 

He squints hard to keep tears from falling. 

Now what the fuck am I going to do?


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armin decides to take a day trip to Batumi.

"Did you know this stuff has cocaine in it?" Hange applies a salve to the cuts on Levi's face. "It numbs the pain really good."

God, why are you telling me these things, Armin thinks. Just shut up and finish doing what you're supposed to do.

Levi's eyes flicker open for a second. He opens his mouth to try to talk. The inside is black with blood. "Hange," he creaks. He lifts an arm to swat her hand away, but it thunks back down on the gurney. "What the fuck."

"Oh, grumble grumble," she says. "Somebody's mad because we didn't send his opponent home in a body bag."

Levi curls his fingers and flips Hange off. She cackles. Armin is relieved to see him functioning still.

"I was going to say I've never seen him lose this badly, but he technically won," Annie says. She sits with Mikasa on the other jump seats. The bandages on her face and hands make her look like a half-assed Halloween mummy.

Hange pours a cup of water from a plastic bottle. "Okie dokie, rinse and spit. Can you move your head?"

"I think so." Levi's voice is mostly a whisper. He tilts his head up, and Armin supports it.

Armin tries not to watch Levi spit the blood from his mouth into a plastic trash bag.

"You didn't bite your tongue, did you?" Hange asks.

"No," Levi says, his teeth white again.

"Good, less work." Hange opens a box full of bottles. "I have happy pills for you. Can you swallow them, or you want an IV?"

"There is no way," Levi says, his voice slurred, "I am letting you put an IV in my arm in a moving car."

"All right, open up." Hange gives him the pills and more water.

Armin helps Levi lift his head again. "What is that?" He asks Hange.

"Codeine," she says with a grin. "It'll knock him right back out again."

"Hange," Levi says. "What did he do to me?"

"Oh, concussion for sure," she says. "I'm gonna' guess some hairline fractures in your ribs."

Guess? You're going to guess? Who the hell are you?

Armin looks at Hange with disgust.

"Nothing too out of place from when I poked around. You ought to be fine."

Fine? What do you mean by fine? And by when? And how far out of place is out 'out of place?' Armin shudders.

Levi shuts his eyes again and turns his head to the side, his face in Armin's palm.

**

Hange's condo is an absolute mess. Towering piles of books and unopened mail line the walls of the living room. Weeks' worth of recycling takes up residence in the corners of the kitchen. Endless boxes, labeled and unlabeled, form a labyrinth of stacks. Suddenly, Eren seems like less of a terrible roommate.

Armin expects the air to smell, and is shocked when it doesn't. Still, of all the places to bring Levi, why does it have to be here?

An open closet door reveals boxes of ammunition.

Mike and Bertolt carry semi-conscious Levi into a small bedroom that, to Armin's surprise, is spotless. Even sterile looking. Plain white linens cover the bed. The only other furniture is a small night table with a single lamp and a tiny device that looks like a call button.

"Isn't he going to need, like...x-rays?" Armin asks.

"Oh, he will," Hange says. "We'll do them tomorrow."

"Where?" Armin asks.

"Private clinic. Down the street. They handle this stuff for us all the time. The big hospitals ask too many questions," Hange says.

"Right." Armin gives Hange a side-eyed glance. She wears a white coat, but with no badge of any kind. Fatigue makes Armin bold. "Are you actually a physician?"

"For all practical purposes, yes," Hange says.

Armin's last remaining shreds of confidence are quickly disappearing.

"Feel free to stay with him if you like," Hange says. "There's extra towels and toothbrushes and stuff in the bathroom." She nods down the hall. "Just make yourself at home!"

Armin steps into the little room. How can she be so chipper and cavalier about something like this, he wonders. This must be normal in her world. They have fights like this at least every month, don't they?

Bertolt leaves to join and Annie and Mikasa and drive them home, not in the ambulance hiding in Hange's massive garage, but in his own car, waiting down the street.

"You want to help me with this?" Mike turns to Armin.

Levi lies shirtless, but still in his jeans and boots from before. Hange had cleaned as much blood as she could off of him.

"Oh. Yeah. Of course." Armin lets Mike unlace Levi's boots. This is the least excited Armin has ever been to unbuckle Levi's belt. He slides his jeans and underwear off of him as carefully as he can, afraid to pull on anything in Levi's abdomen.

Mike takes a white bathrobe off a hook from the back of the door. He lays it out on the bed. He and Armin slide Levi into it.

Armin feels like a child in Mike's presence. He wishes Mike would leave.

"You staying here with him?" Mike asks.

"Yeah."

"All right. Y'all need anything, just push that button." He nods toward the table.

"Right."

Mike turns to leave, then stops. He looks at Levi again. "Just weird as hell to see him like this. Last time I fought Levi was eight years ago. I thought I had met the Devil himself."

Armin squints. "...Levi won a fight against you."

"I don't tell too many people that," he says. "All right. Take care of him." He walks out and shuts the door behind him.

Armin feels lucky the bed is large enough for two people. He takes off his shoes, switches off the lamp, and lies down next to Levi.

**

At first Levi can't tell what it is he's hearing. Sound, but muffled, blurry. He wants to open his eyes, but they don't open. He can tell he's lying down. Most of his body feels numb and weightless. He sinks back into the heavy, chemical sleep.

Kenny always wanted the pills that made him sleep. Whatever would make the pain go away. He didn't much care what else they did to him. The numbness is not unpleasant. In moments like this, Levi almost understands him.

Then there is sound again. A little clearer. The sound is not familiar.

It's a horrible sound. Someone is crying. Not loud, just shaky breath, sniffling.

It's Armin.

It's the worst sound Levi's ever heard.

"What did you do," Armin whispers.

Levi can hear him clearly now. He wills his body to wake up, but it won't.

"You selfish bastard," Armin says.

Levi fights the effect of the medicine. Come on, wake up!

If the pills wear off the pain will come back. Levi doesn't care.

"You couldn't have waited? You couldn't have waited a month, even? And taken out some idiot meat head who doesn't know who you are? Somebody who doesn't know better than to take on 'The Captian'? Jesus Christ, what a load of horseshit."

Oh god, Levi thinks. He doesn't know I can hear him.

Armin gets up and finds a box of tissues on a shelf.

"Congratulations. Great fight, really. Glad to see you never lose."

Please just wake up, Levi tells his body. Just move. Come on!

"What the fuck am I going to do now?" Armin blows his nose again. "It's stupid. God, it's so stupid. I thought I was out of the woods. I really did. God, I'm such an idiot."

A dull pain starts to return to Levi's sides. Come on...

"It was never going to work. We were never even going to fucking find him. Fuck. I ought to just be glad for you. You'll get better. You're gonna be totally fine according to that butcher. God, who the hell is she, even?"

Levi senses Armin's weight shift as he wraps his arms around his knees. The pain in his ribs gets brighter.

"This is ridiculous. I ought to just be glad you're alive."

Levi's arm twitches. His body glows with pain again. His eyelids are sealed shut with crud, his mouth congealed from the last little traces of blood.

"I can't get another assignment from Erwin until you get better, can I," Armin says. He lies back down. "Like I would even want to work with anyone else." He sighs heavily. "This is ridiculous. Like I could just pin all that on you anyway. Make you do everything. It's absurd. I should have just forgotten about it all anyway. It's a shit thing to do. Ask you to do something I wouldn't do myself."

Levi's arm finally obeys him. He reaches over and grabs Armin's hand.

Armin sits bolt upright in shock. "Levi, what the fuck? You're awake?"

"Almost..." Levi's voice is weak and distant.

"Jesus Christ, Levi, you scared the shit out of me!"

Levi can picture the look of embarrassment on Armin's face, and it's as painful as the fissures in his ribs.

"Armin," he creaks. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah," Armin says after a moment. "You should be. And so am I. What a fucking mess." Armin pulls another tissue from the box. "Levi, why did you do it. Why did you go back and fight that guy? Did you honestly think you were going to get out of it without a scratch--"

"Yes," Levi says. "I was wrong. I'm sorry."

"So why did you--"

"I had to."

"You had to."

The pain is building. Speech is difficult. "I can't...explain it...right now. But I will..."

"Yeah, well, you--no. You know what, it doesn't matter. You have your own reasons. It's none of my business. I can't expect you to get me out of every scrape I get myself into."

"Armin..." Levi opens his eyes. He reaches for Armin's hand again. He can just discern Armin's silhouette in the low light.

They sit and lie in silence for a moment. Levi can feel Armin's pulse through his hand, but it feels colder than normal.

"What did he say to you," Armin asks. "At the very end."

"He said...ask Erwin...about Dina Jaeger."

Armin pulls his hand away from Levi. His voice is dry. "What?"

"I don't know...who that is." Levi tries to take a deep breath, but his ribcage disagrees.

"Levi..." Fresh tears starts to spill from Armin's eyes.

"He said she was...his mother."

"Levi...Dina Jaeger...is the woman who shot Eren's parents. She was his dad's ex wife..." Armin sinks his face to his knees again. "Oh my god..."

Levi feels Armin's body begin to shake. Levi wishes more than anything he could sit up, sit with Armin, pull Armin into his lap...

"Erwin knows who she was?"

"Armin...I don't know. I don't know...what Erwin knows."

Armin grips two handfuls of his hair and screams.

Hange opens the door. "Levi?" She peers in. "Oh, that was you," she says to Armin. "I thought Levi needed more pills. You need more pills?"

He does. But he doesn't want to go back to sleep right away.

"Can you just...leave them on the table?" Levi says.

Hange shrugs. "Ok, suit yourself." She goes to fetch them.

Levi's own eyes start to tear up. Just stay awake, he tells himself. Stay in the room, stay with Armin...

"Eren's dad had a whole other life before he met Eren's mom...we never knew about it until that day..." Armin's voice is thin and strained. "We never knew...Eren had a half-brother. I don't know what I'm gonna tell him--"

"Just wait," Levi says. His breathing is shallow and quick. "Wait to see...what Erwin says."

Hange walks back in with a glass of water and the medicine.

"Hange...do you know...a Dina Jaeger?" Levi tries to cough, and the force of it seizes his abdomen with pain.

"Hm, nope. Not ringing a bell," she says. "Oh speaking of ringing bells, next time you need something, there's that button you know."

"Ok, go away now," Levi says.

Hange chuckles and leaves again.

"What a strange person," Armin says. He lies back down, on his stomach this time, and buries his face in the pillow.

This is worse than Levi thought. He didn't lose to Zeke, but it feels like losing. That alone was bad enough. But now, seeing Armin...

The pain in his sides is too strong for him to move closer, reach over, do anything.

"You can have the bounty," Levi says.

"What are you talking about?"

"For Lovoff."

Armin looks up.

"I can't do it anymore, so it's all yours," Levi says, wincing.

"What are you, stupid?"

"No."

"Oh my god, just forget it. Forget all of it." Armin sighs.

Levi inhales sharply through his teeth.

"Shit," Armin says. "You need the pills again?"

"Yeah," Levi says.

"Can you sit up?"

"Not yet," Levi says.

"Here." Armin drops the pills into Levi's palm and gives him the glass of water. He helps Levi lift his head again.

"Thank you," Levi says. "Armin, I'm sorry--"

"Levi, just forget it. Ok? Just go back to sleep."

Levi hates this feeling, the most worthless and helpless he's ever felt. There's something a little exciting about seeing Armin angry. But not at him. And not sad, not afraid...

But Armin doesn't lie back down right away. For a few minutes he sits with his hand still underneath Levi's neck, and lightly strokes the base of his skull with his thumb. It's the last thing Levi notices before he slips under again.

**

Armin gets up and walks down the hall to the bathroom. He feels weak and uncomfortably light, incorporeal from crying. He pulls a towel and a bathrobe from the shelf, takes off his clothes, and turns on the shower. He has little regard for how much hot water he uses.

He sinks down the tile wall and lets the water spill over him, as if it could wash away the psychic gunk from the prizefight, the grotesque atmosphere.

You're pathetic, he tells himself. You're pathetic for wanting Levi to do this for you.

Armin remembers being lifted out of the muddy grave. Levi had climbed out so easily.

You can't just wait around for someone to come lift you out of your problems, Armin thinks. That's just not how it works.

He reaches for the soap and a washcloth and scrubs his skin until it shines red. Then he scowls.

I don't want to be pathetic.

Levi didn't get to where he is just because he can fight, Armin thinks. He got there because he can think. Levi grew up thinking he was stupid, but he was still smart enough to get what he wanted.

Armin examines his fingernails.

The only reason Levi is alive is because he made Zeke slip on that pool of blood, Armin thinks. And the only reason that pool of blood was there was because Annie distracted Fritz.

They're all like that, Armin thinks.

His face contorts into a sneer.

How the hell is Erwin not in prison, Armin wonders. Or Levi? Or Mikasa? Or the creepy fucking 'Doctor'? It can't just be the strings they pull, or bribes. They all have a strategy.

Armin stands up and turns off the water. He steps out and grabs the towel. He looks at himself in the mirror again. His skin glows pink and it makes him feel like a peeled shrimp.

Oh, enough already. I'll never have the strength that Levi does, but I can still have a strategy. And if that's not enough, then maybe I don't even deserve to be in this world. Maybe I deserve to go the way of my crook father.

He dries off and slips on the bathrobe. He lays his folded clothes on the night table in the room where Levi lies sleeping, still as ever.

Armin stands over him for a moment. His eyes burn, but his body is all out of tears. He runs his hand gently through Levi's hair.

I would have given anything to be like you, Armin thinks. But I'm not like you. I can't be. Everything scares me and everything hurts me and...I have to figure out my own way of doing things.

You are a sick, crazy bastard, Armin thinks as he looks at Levi. And you are also brilliant, and noble, in your own way. And unfortunately for me, I am in love with you.

**

Hange sits in an overstuffed armchair reading, surrounded by her piles of books. The clock on the mantle piece reads just past midnight. Armin walks quietly into the living room, still in the bathrobe.

"Can't sleep?" Hange asks.

"Not really."

"You want some coffee?" Her grin is deranged.

"Uh...sure." Armin sits on the couch. Hange brings him a cup from the kitchen. To his surprise, it's actually quite good. "I have to ask you something," he says after a moment. "Is there a way...to artificially induce a heart attack?"

"Oh, sure," she says. "I've probably done it half a dozen times." She picks up a cookie from a plate on the coffee table.

"You have."

"Yep." She offers Armin the plate.

"How?" He takes a cookie.

"Oh, I call it 'Titan serum,'" she says. "'Cause the first time I used it was to get rid of one of the gang leaders...you ever hear about them, the Titans?"

"Uh...yes," Armin says. "Not much, though."

"Well, they're defunct now," Hange says. She smiles again. "Why do you ask?"

Armin's gut clenches. He needs help. But he doesn't want to split the bounty with Hange. He shrugs. "There's someone I have to take out." The words sound ridiculous coming from his mouth. "Levi was supposed to do it," he tries not to cringe as he speaks. "But now...well. I don't know, I got to fill in for him somehow."

"Fair enough."

"So this...serum," Armin says. "It's like, an injection?"

"Yep."

"How long does it take to work?"

"Oh, about six seconds," Hange says. She sips her coffee.

"It's that fast," Armin says.

"Yeah."

Armin nods. "Does it show up in an autopsy?"

"Ohhh yeah," Hange says.

Fuck. Armin runs a hand through his hair. But that wouldn't be a problem if they could take the body with them...and they would have to, to show it to Pixis...

"Do you have it here? I mean, how much would it be to buy it from you?" Armin feels himself start to sweat.

"Eh...one vial...it'd set you back two grand."

So, four months of rent, or slightly less than one buried body for Erwin. "Ok," Armin says. "What about the ambulance? You said it was an exact replica of one from Mount Sina?"

Hange leans forward in her armchair. "How much is the bounty on this guy?"

Armin hangs his head. "It's enough that I'm willing to do it without Levi." He looks Hange straight in the face. He feels as if someone else is speaking through him.

She holds her hands up. "All right. I won't make you go in with me. The ambulance, with me and one more driver, that's gonna be another six grand."

It's almost everything that Armin has left in savings from his jobs from Erwin. What the fuck are you thinking, Armin asks himself. There is no way this is going to work. There is no way you can do this. You are going to fail, you are going to end up dead or in prison.

But what am I if not a son of gamblers?

"It's fine," Armin says.

"All right, where do you need it?" Hange asks.

"Do you know the Batumi bathhouse?"

Hange smiles.

**

Coffee was a terrible idea. Armin lies back down next to Levi and is plunged deep into the swirling hell of his thoughts.

If I can't do it at all, I'm only out eight grand and back to where I started. Then I just have to wait until Levi gets better. Or try to get another job from Erwin.

If I manage it, I'm free. Or at least I'm free for as long as I manage not to fuck anything up.

If I try it and I mess up, I'm as good as dead.

Armin rolls over on the mattress. He doesn't want to cry again. His body is exhausted from shock and crying, but the caffeine keeps the curtain of sleep from drawing itself over his consciousness. He imagines the Doctor must have all kinds of sleeping pills. But he doesn't want to risk it. Nothing new this late in the game. He sets the alarm on his phone for 7:30. Enough time to go home, change, and gather supplies, then drive back up to the north side of town, to Batumi.

Armin wishes Levi would wake up. Levi would know what to say.

And what would Levi say, Armin wonders. Some anecdote about a past job that would make him feel better, capable? Some pep talk about handling things thus far?

Armin groans and turns over again. He doesn't even really need Levi to say anything. He just wants a hug. It makes him angry. Feeling pathetic for just wanting Levi to hold him. And then angry at Levi for not being able to.

I wish you would just wake up. I wish you would just help me. Not do it all for me. Just help. Just be with me.

Fine, Armin thinks. You saw an opportunity for something you wanted, and you took it. This is my opportunity, so I'm taking it. I won't go about it in the same way you would. But if I make it work, it'll be in my own way.

He listens to the sound of Levi's breathing.

You owe me a fucking trip to Orlando.

**

Levi hears a chime go off. He wakes up, but only partially, as if lying at the bottom of a swimming pool and seeing the light above through the water. He feels movement around him as his vision gradually clarifies. Armin getting up, putting his clothes back on.

"Armin...." Levi manages to whisper. "What time is it?"

"It's not quite eight," Armin says.

"Where are you going?"

Armin is quiet for a moment. "I have to be somewhere," is all he says.

Levi sighs and his chest doesn't hurt quite as much as it used to. It's progress, he supposes.

Armin hovers over him and kisses his temple, one part of his face that isn't bruised or sutured. Armin leans down and kisses his neck and his collarbone. "I'll see you later," Armin says, but there's a shiver to his voice that worries Levi.

Armin walks out of the room and closes the door behind him. Levi thinks of reaching out after him, but there's no point, he decides. After the artificial levity of the medicine, he feels like lead again. Sore and dead, but the pain is duller.

It's a dumb, selfish thing to want Armin to stay, Levi thinks. He has the rest of his life to attend to, I can't just expect him to wait around for me.

But Levi wants it anyway.

He remembers a sick day he had as a child, a rare day Kuchel had off from work. Even after they came home from the doctor's office, he ran a high fever and hallucinated shadowy figures in the room. He drifted in and out of consciousness with his head in his mother's lap on the living room couch of their tiny apartment. Clips of dialogue from movies they both liked wove themselves in and out of his awareness. He would have been terrified if not for the constant touch that seemed to keep him in his body. Eventually, he even felt at peace.

Levi hears faint voices coming from down the hall.

"You're sure this works," Armin says.

"I am," Hange says.

"There's not, like, an expiration date on it or something."

"There is, but it's still good. Trust me," Hange says.

Levi can feel his pulse everywhere in his body. Eventually he'll have to call Hange for what he hopes will be the last dose of the medicine.

He tries to follow the thread of Armin's voice, but it's too far away. This is the most helpless Levi has been since that fever-dream day, he realizes. Kuchel had put ice packs on black eyes and gone though every shape and size of band-aid following Levi's playground fights. She had never seen him like this.

Please come back, Levi thinks. I know it's not fair. But please. Just for a little bit.

**

There's a distinct smell of salt and chlorine in the Batumi bathhouse. Sound echoes off the tiles in the lobby. Armin signs in with a fake name, the first he can think of: Alexis Smith. It almost sounds like he's related to Erwin, he thinks. He pays in cash and walks down the long hall to the men's changing room, past the communal solarium, filled with men and women lying on chaise lounges, reading and napping.

Armin shoved a novel and a couple of Eren's long-abandoned GRE review books into his bag with a change of clothes. It's not uncommon for students to take the day at the bathhouse to study, and then to order massive piles of cheese bread from the bakery next door.

He doubts he'll be able to read a single line. But he doesn't know how long it will take to wait for Lovoff.

Armin grabs a robe and sandals from the shelf. He changes into them and finds an empty locker.

Paranoia seizes him. His car is in the parking lot, and yet he doesn't even want to use his birthday as the pin code for the locker. He keys in a reference to his goal: 2700. He sighs.

In a bathroom stall, he opens a package prepared for him by Hange. A syringe lies in a plastic packet. Armin tapes it to the front of his thigh with a heavy, waterproof medical tape. His robe or towel will always cover it. Somewhere nearby, the ambulance is waiting, out of the way in an alley, on the street with the fewest security cameras.

He washes his hands just for show. His heart rate is already elevated and he hasn't even been in the building for five minutes.

"Armin?"

Armin turns around and freezes. "Boris?"

"Hey, man. How've you been?" Boris was a year ahead of Armin in college. They had been in a Russian review section together and played a few intramural tennis matches against each other.

My parents are dead and I'm here to kill a man, Armin thinks. "Uh...doing all right. How about you?"

"Not bad. Didn't think I'd see you here, though."

"Yeah," Armin scratches the back of his neck. "I, uh, moved back to town...just, uh, had the day off..." he shrugs.

Fuck. This is the last thing I need right now. Any other time, it would have been great to catch up with someone who remembers him as intelligent and competent, but why now?

"Hey Boris," says a man Armin doesn't recognize. "We're gonna get in the sauna."

"Yeah, I'll be there in a second," Boris says. "Hey, you still playing tennis?"

Armin hasn't touched his racquet since the day of the accident. "Yeah," he says.

"We ought to play sometime," Boris says. "You're still on Facebook, right?"

"Yeah, totally." Armin hasn't checked it since that day, either.

"All right, cool. Good to see you, man."

"Yeah, I'll, uh, be around--"

"Yeah, for sure." Boris goes to join the others in the sauna.

Fucking hell, Armin thinks. More witnesses. Great.

Armin glances around the corridors and the changing rooms. He doesn't see a defibrillator anywhere, or any kind of emergency call button.

Armin grabs his book and heads for the solarium. Tile mosaics cover the walls. A tall, terra cotta fountain gurgles in the center. He scans the other patrons anxiously.

No sign of them.

He claims an empty chaise and opens the book. Between sentences, he looks up at the entrance.

What the fuck am I doing, he thinks. At least he had the sense to bring _The Brothers Karamazov_ with him and not _Crime and Punishment_.

This is it. This is the last thing you see before you die. Lovely Batumi. You should have told Eren and Levi you love them.

**

Levi stands by the side of the bed. His chest is a corset of pain.

He braces himself against the wall as he lifts one foot to put his jeans on. Hange left his gym bag with clean clothes in it next to the door. Levi willed himself to stoop over and pick it up. It did not go as well as he hoped.

He's already sweating by the time he manages to pull his t-shirt on.

Seriously, fuck this, Levi thinks. And fuck Zeke. And where the fuck is Armin?

Hange knocks on the door. "You need some help in there?"

"No," Levi says.

"All right, then hurry up, I got to be somewhere."

Levi bristles at the thought of paying for the x-rays. He hasn't had to have them after a fight in years, not since the time Mike cracked his collarbone. He steps out into the living room.

"You can walk?" Hange asks.

"What does it fucking look like?"

"You can stand up and sit down?"

Levi groans and sits on the couch. It hurts. He stands back up. It hurts worse. "Yeah," he says.

"Ok, let's go." Hange leads him to the garage and unlocks her little Mercedes coupe.

"Where's the ambulance?" Levi asks.

"Bertolt took it," Hange says. "I'm going to meet him once we get you sorted out."

"Really. Where's the job?"

Hange grins at him. "Batumi."

Levi's eyes widen.

**

Armin sits stiffly and awkwardly with the book, surely the least relaxed person in the room.

Just try to fucking relax, he tells himself. After all, if they don't show up, this will have been an eight thousand dollar spa day. Which sounds like something Levi owes me after that stupid fucking prizefight.

Armin feels his stomach growl. He should have eaten more at his apartment beforehand. He supposes it's just like him to let himself go hungry and let his blood sugar get low before he has to do something important.

Two little girls sit on the edge of the fountain with their feet in the water. Their father watches them from beneath an enormous potted palm. An old woman has fallen asleep on the chaise next to Armin and the sound of her snoring blends with the spray of the fountains and the murmur hovering in the air.

You don't have to do it. You don't have to ruin it all, this peaceful Tuesday, where life goes on as normal.

Armin fidgets, the tape irritates his skin.

But everything got ruined for me. It was a Tuesday when I got that phone call.

Armin rests his head to his knees again. His parents would have liked this place.

Who are you to deprive someone of a parent?

Then Armin scowls. Haven't we all been deprived. Levi, Eren, myself. Well, we all learned to deal with it. Lovoff's daughter can sort her own shit out.

Armin picks his book up again. He gets about thirty pages in before he hears two familiar voices speaking Russian. He looks up and immediately looks back down at the book, and lets the two figures pass though his peripheral vision: Lovoff, stocky and broad, and his assistant, lanky and wraith-like.

"It's about time, then," the thin man says.

"He could buy this place with the money he owes me," Lovoff says as he passes out of earshot.

Armin gets up as discreetly as he can.

Ok, what am I doing. Yes. Right. I've decided to use the sauna. Or the steam room. Or whatever is just close enough...

Armin walks back into a bathroom stall adjacent to the bank of lockers where the men are changing.

"It's a shame you haven't got another Dina," the assistant says.

Armin freezes. His own pulse rings in his years.

"A what?" Lovoff grumbles.

"You know, someone really off the rails. But someone Krolva wouldn't think to be afraid of."

Dina's not that common of a name, Armin thinks.

Lovoff laughs. "You mean another single-use employee?"

Armin's body is totally rigid, his breathing shallow.

"What do I look like, a one-man ISIS?"

The assistant laughs at Lovoff's joke.

Armin pictures Eren's father, Doctor Jaeger. It can't be the same Dina they're talking about, he thinks. But Grisha had an entire secret life before he met Carla, hadn't he? What was he trying to hide?

The two men walk down a short side hallway to a sauna. Armin follows behind, just out of sight. He forces his legs to move.

They're going to recognize you from the restaurant, he thinks. They might even start talking to you. In Russian. Then you'll really be up shit creek.

What if he offers me a job?

Armin shakes his head and opens the door. The smell of cedar brings on a wave of nostalgia.

Enjoy it while you can.

Two other men lie on the long wooden steps. Lovoff and his companion sit and drink water from plastic cups. Armin spreads out a towel and lies down on the top step behind them. The heat doesn't feel pleasant. It feels like a crucible.

When the others get up, Lovoff starts talking again.

He must not know I can understand them, Armin thinks. Or maybe he doesn't care.

"Don't you think it's going to be obvious?" The assistant says.

"It might be if I had blathered on about it. But no one but you knows how long he's been going behind my back."

"So that's why you didn't speak up about it. I wondered about that. Anyone else would have wanted his head on a platter as soon as they found out."

"Yes, but I'm not anyone else," Lovoff says. "Naturally I was mad about it. But I'm not about to let anyone else think they can undermine me. Better to play dumb and let him get away with it a little while longer, and make it look like there's no conflict between us."

The assistant refills his plastic cup from the glass urn outside the door. "You're going to try to make it look like an accident?" He sits back down.

"Well, that's the part I'm still working on," Lovoff says. "The hardest part will be pretending to give a shit once he's gone."

Armin can hear the clock ticking on the wall under the sound of the creaking wood and the clanging heat element. His body is covered in a mesh of tiny droplets of sweat. He wonders how long the two are going to stay in there. Images of Dina flash through his mind, the sound of her maniacal laughter. Someone really off the rails, but someone you wouldn't necessarily think to be afraid of.

Yes, Armin thinks, listening. Tell me about making things look like an accident.

His skin itches under the tape.

They told me it was an accident, what happened to my parents, he thinks. But they owed a lot of people a lot of money. What if it wasn't an accident? What if it was someone like you who came and took them?

He starts to feel faint from the heat. It's only been about ten minutes.

The assistant stands up and stretches. "Are you going for a new personal best?"

Lovoff laughs. "The heat helps me think."

"I'll be in the ice pool." The assistant gathers his towels and leaves.

Silence.

Armin looks at the ceiling. His limbs tingle. Anyone could walk in at any moment.

The serum takes six seconds to work.

Armin sits up as slowly as he can. His head and face throb, sweat pours down his skin in little trails. His hand could easily slip.

Armin stares at the back of Lovoff's neck.

The world is full of selfish, rotten people, Armin thinks. I come from selfish, rotten people, and I work for selfish, rotten people.

He draws the syringe from the tiny plastic sachet. A figure walks past the glass door and Armin freezes. But the man doesn't walk inside, he keeps going, toward the steam rooms and ice pools. Armin breathes again, as softly as possible. His eyes well up with tears. He squints and they join the streams of sweat that run down his face.

If I'm as smart as I think I am, I'll be just as selfish as I need to be. To get what I want. To help the people I care about.

Armin pulls the little plastic tip off the syringe and draws the piston back.

Even if I fail, this is a decision I'm making for myself.

He looks out the door. No one in the hallway.

I do belong in this world, he thinks. And I don't want to owe anyone anything, ever again.

Armin jams the syringe into Lovoff's back and clamps his hand over the man's mouth as hard as he can. Six, five, four...

Lovoff pulls at Armin's hand. Armin pushes Lovoff's chin up with his palm to keep his mouth shut. Three, two...

Lovoff gasps and falls forward off the bench. Armin's hands shake. He rips the syringe out of Lovoff's back and watches the door as he slips it back in the makeshift pouch. His hands are numb as he reaches for his towel and ties it around his waist.

Armin flings open the door and stumbles into the hallway. He pulls his phone from the pocket of his robe hanging by the door. Three other men begin to turn the corner and Armin holds the disconnected phone to his ear. "Hello?" he says to no one. "Yes, I'm at...the Batumi bathhouse--" Armin shakes as he speaks.

Boris stops in front of his two cousins. "Armin?"

Armin shakes his head and holds his hand out. "He uh, he had a heart attack--" Armin gasps. "He just collapsed, we were in the sauna..."

Boris runs over and opens the door. "What happened?"

"Yes..." Armin pretends to talk, "No...he's not..." Armin leans in. "Is he breathing?"

"No," Boris says. The others look in at the man lying on his back on the floor.

"No, he's not breathing," Armin says, terrified his phone will slip from his sweaty hand and reveal its blank screen, or that the towel will fall from his waist. "What? Ok. Yes. Ok...thank you."

More people start to gather around the sauna.

Armin sinks back and slides down the wall, he lays the phone face down against the floor and covers his face with his hands.

"Armin, what happened?" Boris leans over him. Others join him.

"I don't know," Armin says, his face a mess of tears and snot. He continues to shiver. "He just...I was in the sauna with him, and he just..." Armin recognizes the tall assistant standing next to Boris. "I heard him cough, and he just fell over..."

"Someone has called an ambulance?" The assistant says in his heavily accented English.

"Yeah, he did," one of Boris's cousins says, pointing to Armin.

The tall man looks into the sauna. "Bozhe moj," he mutters. "Kolya..."

Armin reaches for his phone and wills his hands to stay still as he texts Hange. _come now had to fake the call_

Boris kneels down in front of him. "Armin, are you all right?"

Armin's phone buzzes in his hand and he flinches. _on the way_ , reads Hange's response.

"No," he says.

**

Armin's hair soaks the shoulders of his t-shirt. He rinsed himself off as fast as he could. He stands dumbstruck and numb in the parking lot with the other onlookers as Hange and Bertolt, dressed as EMTs, wheel Lovoff into the ambulance. No sirens blare, but the lights make Armin's pink face flicker red and blue. Boris stands next to him in a reverent silence.

The tall assistant stands smoking a cigarette and talking on his phone. "Yes, they are taking him to Mount Sina," he says in Russian.

They are not taking him to Mount Sina. Oh, no.

Then Armin notices a third figure in the ambulance, sitting in the passenger seat. He discerns the contour of Levi's profile. Armin lets out a loud, uncontrolled sob and sinks his face in his hands again.

Levi, what the fuck! You're supposed to be getting x-rayed! You should be asleep! What the fuck are you doing here?

Armin wants to scream, but the only sound that comes from him is more crying.

Boris puts an arm around Armin's shoulder. "Hey," he says. "It's going to be ok. It's not your fault...you did everything you could. It's all going to be all right."

Armin wipes his face on his sleeve and nods as the ambulance drives away.


	17. Chapter 17

"So whose body you think we're going to be bringing back?" Hange asked. "Armin's, or Lovoff's?"

Levi turned to look at her. "If you say something like that to me again, I will punch you in the face."

Hange laughed.

"Once my ribs heal," Levi added.

"You think he's actually going to do it?"

Levi shifted uneasily in his seat, his bones still stinging from lying on the examination table. A carefully placed lattice of orthopedic tape covered his chest, supporting the tiny fractures."I don't know what he's going to do."

"Do you want him to do it?"

Levi paused for a moment. "I don't know. I just want him to get what he wants, one way or another."

Levi was seized by a mixture of pride and horror when Hange explained Armin's plan. His face took on an unfamiliar shape and he remembered an awkward laugh of his mother's when she discovered her nine-year-old son had beaten up a bully twice his size.

Levi supposed there was one good thing about worry, which was that it distracted from the physical pain. He had been so full of certainty waking up from the drug-induced sleep, telling Armin to take the money for himself. But Armin's later absence drew him into a state of terror.

Levi hates this feeling of being afraid. As if he doesn't trust Armin.

If something goes wrong, it won't be because of something Armin overlooked.

Levi waits in the passenger seat of the ambulance and takes a sip from a flask. He spots Armin's blonde head among the crowd of onlookers in the parking lot. His ribs won't let him breathe the deep sigh of relief he wants to take.

Levi hears Hange and Bertolt loading Lovoff's body into the back of the ambulance. But he doesn't take his eyes off Armin, whose face is splotched red. Then a young man with sandy hair puts an arm around Armin's shoulders and Levi scowls. His insides curdle with jealousy.

Who the fuck are you, Eagle Scout?

Bertolt climbs into the driver's seat and starts the ignition. Hange, in the back, is doing god-knows-what to make sure Lovoff is actually dead.

You did it, Levi thinks. And I should be there, checking on you...

Levi wants to vomit. He'd sink his face into his hands if the sutures didn't still hurt so much. It's a good thing Bertolt doesn't want to talk.

God, Armin. What's going to happen to you now?

Levi takes another sip from the flask.

Armin's moral core takes a very different shape from mine, it seems. Armin...are you going to be able to live with yourself after this?

Levi and Bertolt check the mirrors. No one from the parking lot is following them. Not yet, anyway.

Levi hates himself for doubting, for not having total confidence.

Armin...I never would have tested you like this, Levi thinks. But you're alive, and that's all that matters right now. I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive myself for what happened to my squad. But if anything happened to you, I know I wouldn't be able to.

**

Rico, Hange, and Ilse stand over the body in Hange's garage. It lies in a wooden crate that has yet to be nailed shut.

Instead of a briefcase, Rico holds a yellow Fjallraven Kanken backpack filled with cash. "Motherfucker," she mutters.

Levi glares at the two spectacled women. He hasn't seen Rico in years.

Armin is completely pale when he walks in. He looks smaller and thinner than ever to Levi, with dark circles under his eyes.

"Well," Rico says. "You got him."

Armin just nods.

"But Mount Sina's already gotten calls asking where he is." Rico adjusts her glasses.

"Organ thieves," Armin says, his voice is dry and creaky.

She cocks her head.

"Just say whoever was driving the ambulance stole the body to sell the organs," Armin says. He looks completely defeated to Levi. "They thought he was some geezer nobody would miss."

Rico laughs and it echoes. Hange nods approvingly and Ilse just raises an eyebrow.

"You think that's going to work?" Ilse says.

"Just go with it," Levi says. "Wasn't Lovoff a trafficker?"

"He had some trafficking business, yeah," Rico says.

"Then start some rumor he was selling organs himself," Levi says.

"You're sick," Ilse says. She laughs under her breath.

"You seem surprised," Levi says. Now just go, he thinks. All of you. Get the fuck out so I can talk to Armin.

"All right," Rico says, "torch him, or do whatever you got to do."

"He has to be buried," Levi says.

"What?" Rico turns to him.

"We lost our cremation connection."

"Well fuck," she says. "Anyways. Dot should be satisfied with this." She hands the backpack to Armin. "Don't spend it all in one place." She fishes her car keys out of her pocket and walks with Hange back into the condo to leave through the front door.

"You look like you could sleep for about six days," Ilse says to Armin.

He hands her the bag and she pulls out three stacks of one hundred hundred-dollar bills.

She puts the money in her silver snakeskin handbag. "Nice work, by the way. Clean." She turns to Levi. "You planning on telling Erwin about this?"

"Yeah," Levi says. He looks at Armin. "We'll give him a fake promotion at Trost or something."

"Suit yourselves," Ilse says. She considers Armin. "Organ theives. Never would have thought of that." She walks back inside with the others.

Armin stares at the floor for a moment and sighs. The backpack hangs off of one of his shoulders. There's a hollowness to his speech and movement that makes Levi feel cold.

Come on, Levi thinks. Come back. Don't be like this. Please.

The feeling of rot in Levi's gut deepens. What if Armin is forever changed, and all that's left is a shadow, or a shell?

Levi steps forward and gently grabs his wrists.

"What the fuck is wrong with you," Armin mutters. He doesn't move or pull away from Levi's grip. "Why did you come all the way up to the north side--"

"Do you seriously think I was going to just sit around and wait while you were up there?" Levi says. There we go. Just a little fire...

Armin just shakes his head. "I have to get out of here," he says. He looks in the direction of the body. "Away from...that."

Levi releases Armin and pulls the tarp back over the dead man's face. He doesn't try to reach for the lid to the box that he can't lift from the floor.

"You need to eat something," Levi says.

Armin rolls his eyes.

"Come on, I know what happens when you're like this. Let's go inside."

"How are you even standing up right now?" Armin asks him.

Sheer willpower, different medicine, and panic about you, Levi thinks. He says nothing and leads Armin inside. "Hange?" he calls.

She stands near the front door. "Hey, I have to head out for a while," she says. "Stay here if you need to. There's more pills in the fridge."

"I...ok, fine," Levi says. "See you later." But what about food?

Levi rifles through the cabinets. He pulls out a plate and a box of crackers. He fills two cups of instant noodles with water and puts them in the microwave. The movement hurts, and he ignores it.

"Levi, what are you doing."

"Would you please just eat something before you pass out?"

"Would you please just take some fucking medicine and quit moving around so much?" Armin's face is still red from crying, and it makes the color of his eyes stand out.

"Armin, come on, you look horrible."

"Are you kidding me? I look horrible?" Armin reaches up and touches Levi's jaw. "Your face is six different colors right now, and you're telling me I look horrible?" Armin's laugh is deranged and unsettled.

Levi shakes his head, but the push back feels good. "Come on. Just eat, just get some rest. We'll finish the burial later."

"We? I don't think you're in any shape to dig."

"I can't," Levi says, and the words feel awkward. It's not a phrase he likes to utter often. "But I'm driving."

"You're not fucking driving! You're practically high on pain medicine! Or at least you will be--"

"If you don't want me to drive, then at least let me watch your perimeter."

"You're going to sit there for three and a half hours and wait while I dig." Armin crosses his arms.

Levi looks Armin straight in the face for a moment. "You bet that fucking backpack full of money I am. And I'm bringing tea."

The microwave dings.

"I actually kind of like the backpack," Armin says.

Levi laughs out loud. It hurts. "Fuck," he mutters, seizing back up.

This time Armin laughs softly, and the relief it brings Levi eclipses the feeling of pain.

Armin carries the noodles to the coffee table along with two mismatched forks plucked from Hange's drawer. He lays the backpack on a chair. Levi braces himself against the arm of the couch to sit. Digging is out of the question.

The condo is quiet except for the sound of slurping.

"Organ thieves," Levi says after a moment.

"I couldn't think of anything else!" Armin looks at Levi with a pained, bewildered expression that makes Levi want to melt.

"I think it's brilliant." Levi stabs his fork into the noodles again.

"I waited until after the creepy assistant left before I got in my car, so he couldn't follow me."

"Do you think they're going to remember you? Or suspect you?"

"I don't know," Armin says. He puts his noodles down. "I pretty much just cried like a faucet the entire time."

"Maybe you ought to consider that an asset," Levi says. "Use your innocent face as camouflage."

"Tch."

"It's tough, though," Levi says. "On the one hand, no one suspects you. On the other, people underestimate you."

"I guess." Armin looks at the floor while Levi finishes eating. "What the fuck did I just do," he whispers. He grips a handful of his still-damp hair. "There's no going back, is there."

"Why don't you wait to torture yourself about this until after that body is in the ground? All right?"

Armin leans forward on the couch and puts his face in his hands. Levi strokes his back.

"I don't know what I'm going to do now," Armin says.

Please, Levi thinks. Don't fall into some abyss of regret. If you do, I don't think I'll be able to pull you back out. Don't quit.

"Sleep. Bury him. Move on with your life," Levi says. He rests his hand on Armin's back for a moment and feels his heartbeat through his shirt. "You're a neutral force of nature. Lovoff kicked a nest of snakes. That's his own damn fault. Pixis is the snake. You're just the venom."

Armin sighs heavily.

"I hate this," Levi says.

"What?"

"I can't even give you a proper fucking hug."

Armin lets out a dry laugh. Levi runs his fingers through Armin's hair.

"Do you want to take something to help you sleep?"

"No," Armin says. "I won't need it." He stands up with effort and holds his hand out to Levi.

There's a very specific way Levi has to stand up in order to minimize the pain. He takes Armin's hand and lets Armin pull him to his feet anyways. He tries not to cringe or squint.

Levi takes an extra dose of medicine and a bottle of water from the fridge. He follows Armin into the bedroom.

Levi starts to take the pills, then looks at Armin, stretched out on the bed. "This is probably going to keep me under for five or six hours," he says. "Armin...don't leave to get rid of the body until I wake up...ok?"

Armin blinks for a second. "I won't."

**

The sky is dark and the bedroom is empty when Levi wakes up. The clock reads 10:50 pm.

Shit.

Levi's body is achy and stiff, but the pain is duller at least. He sits up and decides to brush his teeth.

He looks in the mirror. One eye is a dark crater. A line of sutures follows his other orbital bone. Narrow vertical scabs cover the cuts in his lips. He feels lucky to still have all of his teeth, although they still ache when he clenches his jaw.

When he opens the bathroom door, he hears voices. He walks into the garage.

Armin has retrieved the van from Mitras. He wears his typical black t-shirt and work pants. He and Hange shove the crate into the van.

"Hey," Armin says. "You ready?"

Levi is still returning to consciousness. "Yeah. Let me get my bag."

"You thought I left without you," Armin says as he backs out of the garage and into the dark alley.

"Yeah, for a minute there, I did," Levi says.

"I said I wasn't going to leave without you."

"I know," Levi says. "I believed it until I got up." He looks in his bag, but his thermos isn't there. "I'm pissed off I woke up so late."

"Why? We couldn't get started until now anyway."

"I know, but I wanted to make tea."

Armin sighs. "Do you want to just, like, go to Starbucks, or something? Or is that, like, sacrilegious in the tea world?"

"Starbucks makes a perfectly viable bucket of tea," Levi says. "You just have to take the bags out right away."

"Ok, let's go then," Armin says. "I need the caffeine anyway."

When they reach a stoplight, Armin takes the auxiliary cable from a cup holder and plugs in his phone. A bright, tinny snare and a high synth lead kick in.

"You're listening to Group Therapy with Above & Beyond," announces a breathy female voice.

Levi stifles a laugh. He's not gong to complain. It still hurts to laugh, anyways.

**  
An unknown force had propelled Armin down the stairs and across the street on the day Dina appeared. The same unknown force bound his arms around squirming, struggling Lovoff.

"It was like those stories you hear where a mom lifts a car off a child," Armin says. Or like when I thought you were dead and you headbutted Zeke, Armin thinks.

"Yeah," Levi says. "I don't know what it's called. But I know what you mean. Of course, it helps to have the element of surprise."

"It just makes me wonder...why it happened for me and not for Lovoff."

"Who knows," Levi says. "Maybe you were favored by some higher power."

Armin shakes his head. "I can't even open that can of worms right now."

"Then save it," Levi says. "Or just leave it untouched."

Armin finds an open coffee shop near the state university campus on the way out of the city. Students crowd around the tables. Armin waits in line and peers in the glass display case. The sandwiches and pastries look anemic and sad.

"What can I get you?" the barista asks when he reaches the counter.

"Um...a large coffee, black," Armin says. "And then I'm going to need two large green teas, two large Earl Greys, a chamomile, a jasmine, and an extra empty cup."

"Oh-kay," the barista says. "And what's the name on that?"

"Alex," Armin says. He grabs a handful of granola bars and a bag of chocolate covered nuts from the shelf and lays them in front of the register. He hands the barista a hundred dollar bill, fresh from Rico's backpack. She cocks an eyebrow.

"Is that all?"

"Yeah," he says. Armin tries to look inconspicuous as he waits. Meanwhile Levi babysits the corpse in the van.

Armin isn't visibly dirty yet. He could still be anyone. He still looks like a student. He glances around at all the open books and glowing laptop screens. I hid in that world like a cocoon, he thinks. I don't know if I can ever go back to that world again.

Even if I could...would I want to?

Armin drifted through college like a sleepwalker. Good at his classes, but afraid of everything else. Bury yourself in a book, he thought, and you won't ever have to face your problems. Just get all the points, and make the grown-ups love you.

Armin carries two cardboard containers back out to the van.

"Ok, what have we got," Levi says. They use every available cup holder for the steaming drinks. Levi plucks the bags out of each of them and puts them in the empty cup that rests between his feet. "Damn," he says.

"What?"

"This is the best this van is ever going to smell."

Armin heaves a little laugh. He backs out of the parking lot as Levi replaces all the little plastic lids.

"These ought to be ready to drink by the time we're done," Levi says. "Don't touch them yet, you'll get a third-degree burn."

"I think the coffee's ok," Armin says.

"Yeah, for some reason they save the nuclear water for the tea."

Armin sees another opportunity. "Why do they do that, anyway?"

Levi expounds upon the commercial preparation of teas, how the temperatures of the water affects the oils in the leaves, the grades of leaves that make it into tea bags. Armin is grateful to hear the dam break on the night he needs the distraction the most.

**

"Armin...how much longer are we going to drive?" Levi begins to look suspicious. "This is farther away than all the others..."

"I know," Armin says. "We're almost there." He knows the way out of the city by heart. "No one's going to think to look for him here."

Levi looks out the window as they turn off the highway into the the neighboring town. "This is where you canvassed?"

"No," Armin says. He sighs. "I didn't have time to. I just...remembered this place."

Levi looks uneasy.

"Trust me," Armin says. "There's no one here."

Armin turns in to a dark neighborhood. There are street lights, but they aren't lit. In the moon glow and the headlight beams, Levi makes out the foreclosure signs in most of the yards. Armin stops in front of a single-story prairie-style house with an overgrown jungle for a yard.

"I didn't really want to come back here," Armin says, his throat dry. "But I just...I couldn't think of anywhere else." He sits for a moment with his hands still on the steering wheel. "This used to be my parents' house." He switches off the headlights and looks at the dark street. "But there's almost no one left in this neighborhood."

Armin pulls into the driveway and parks outside the garage. When he gets out of the van, Levi notices he has tears in his eyes.

"This is going to take me forever," Armin says. He pulls his shovel out of the back of the van and reaches for the crate to slide it out.

"It won't," Levi says. "You've gotten faster."

Armin just shrugs.

All Levi can do is watch, and it feels paralyzing. His sides ache sympathetically as Armin pulls the crate along the remaining pavement to the edge of the backyard.

"Don't fall in," Levi says. "I won't be able to pull you out this time."

"Tch." Armin shakes his head, picks up his shovel, and pierces the ground.

Levi brings the carriers of tea out with him. He sits in a wrought-iron chair on the patio next to the emerging grave plot.

"Eren's house is just a few streets away from here," Armin says. He pulls up another shovel-full of yard.

"You knew each other for a long time, then?"

"Yeah, since we were kids," Armin says. "He, uh...taught me a lot of things."

Levi grins. "Yeah, I can imagine." He clutches the green tea impatiently. Still too hot. "I used to wrestle before I dropped out of school...that was my initiation of sorts."

Levi watches Armin work with a mixture of lust and pity. He'd had to stop himself from staring constantly at Erwin and Mike at the gym and, train himself to focus on his own workout. But watching Armin's minor struggle arouses him, too.

"I should be helping you," Levi mutters.

"Levi, it's fine. Don't worry about it." Armin clears the first layer of earth.

"I'm going to worry about it whether you want me to or not," Levi says.

Armin laughs. "Fine. Suit yourself."

Nothing to do now but wait, drink the tea, talk as much as Armin wants to talk. Levi sinks back into the chair and notices the steam against the dark sky. He remembers sitting with Erwin on the balcony of the high rise apartment, smoking a cigar, looking out over the glittering skyline.

"Well, the reason most of them fail is because they have no patience," Erwin said. He swirled his scotch in its glass. "Ignatio couldn't wait for three hours in the warehouse, he moved too soon, and gave himself away." He tapped his ashes into the gold-edged tray. "People take for granted what a skill waiting is."

I can wait, Levi thought. I waited all day for my mother to come home as a child. I waited for Kenny's rages to subside. I have waited on buses in the snow, I have waited in line at the unemployment office. I can fucking wait.

"You have to be a like a spider that looks dead until moves. And then it bites you," Levi said.

Erwin flashed his blinding grin, cleanly bleached of smoke and coffee stains. "Precisely."

**

Armin pierces the ground again and again, and throws the chunks of soil into a heap. The smell of the earth brings back memories. Playing in the yard. Sitting on the patio, reading or studying like crazy.

Dad, how long did you lie to me?

Mom, did you know? Did you even want to know? And even if you knew...could you have done anything?

The grave is about eighteen inches deep.

It's only because I'm burying this monster that I can even afford to bury the two of you.

The smell of the earth conjures images of Dina. Coach Hannes had been planting new shrubs in his yard that afternoon and the ground in front of his house had been torn open to receive them. Armin never found out where Coach Hannes moved.

When the police had gone, the bodies had been removed, and the Jaeger house was just a mess of broken glass and chalk lines, Eren had come to stay with the Arlerts. Those were quiet days, walking on eggshells. Eren clung to Armin at night instead of sleeping in the other twin bed in Armin's room.

None of this ever should have happened, Armin thinks. He clears more dirt from the grave. None of it should have gone like this. This stupid yard...this stupid, fucking overgrown yard...Dad, you were such a maniac about making me trim it...the smell of it now shouldn't make me want to vomit. You were so quick to help Eren, but you never dared ask anyone for help yourself.

I should be here on my fucking spring break, bored as hell with a book on this patio. I should be washing dishes in the kitchen while Mom smokes a cigarette out here, even though she said she'd quit a million times. Eren should have had to sneak into that bedroom.

I wish I could just bury it all.

Armin digs deeper, another stair-step down. The ladder waits off to the side.

There shouldn't be a smell of blood coming from the crate, but there is. Hange had taken great liberties in the back of the van, and the bodies they bury are never embalmed. The smell of blood makes Armin think of Levi. But not the good moments. The moments of terror, panic, not knowing what to do. Levi possesses an entire other library of smells that make Armin happier to still be alive. Incense, tea, cologne.

Armin lays the shovel down for a moment and collapses into the chair next to Levi. His hair is already damp again with sweat.

Levi reaches over to stroke it anyway. Armin swats his hand away.

"Come on," Levi says.

"I'm gross."

"So?" Levi stands up and walks behind Armin's chair. He drapes his arms around Armin's shoulders and kisses the top of his head. "I think I can handle it."

"What time is it?" Armin asks.

Levi pulls his phone from his pocket. "About quarter to one."

"Fuck."

"Armin, you have time--"

"I know, but I want to get out of here." He reaches for one of the cups of tea.

Levi rests his hand on Armin's upper back. "Drink it," he whispers. "It will revive you."

Armin laughs. "Great. This is where you get your superpowers from."

"It is," Levi says.

Armin keeps laughing. It turns into a disturbed cry. "What the fuck am I doing?" he says to the tea. "I shouldn't have come back here. We could have gone back to one of the other sites. What was I thinking, what am I doing--"

"Armin--"

"What the fuck am I doing?" Armin begins to shake and he puts the cup back on the table. He sinks his face into his hands. "Fuck. I can't even fucking cry if I wanted to. Jesus, I'm so fucking sick of crying." A tremor goes through him.

Levi grips Armin's shoulders.

"Everything is wrong," Armin says. His voice is thin and strange. "I shouldn't be here, you shouldn't be here...none of this should ever have happened--"

"Armin," Levi says.

"I made a mistake, we shouldn't be here--"

"Armin. Just finish it. Just get it over with, and we'll get out of here."

Armin just sits, still trembling. He hears a drop. Then another. A curtain of rain passes over the neighborhood.

"Come on," Levi says. He releases Armin and walks over to the dropped shovel.

"Levi, what are you doing?" Armin looks up again. "Levi, stop it!" Armin runs out into the rain and takes the shovel from Levi's hands.

Levi stands still and looks straight at Armin. "Armin, nothing ever goes the way it's supposed to," he says. "It just happens. It just happens, and you have to fucking deal with it."

Armin can't look away from Levi.

"I shouldn't be here either, but here we are," Levi says. He throws his hands up. "Nothing in my life went the way it was supposed to, but here I am, I have to just accept it. And if it hadn't all gone that way I wouldn't be standing here with you and taking you home with me. Ok?"

Armin can't tell whether it's the combination of bruises and rain, or Levi's eyes are starting to tear up.

Levi walks up to Armin and takes his face in his hands. "Just finish it," he says, his voice shaking slightly. "Just finish it. Let's go home. Get rid of this parasite forever, and just be done with it, and we can go home."

Armin shuts his eyes and Levi kisses him.

Rain soaks through their clothes and makes them shiver. The handle of the shovel is tacky and rough.

Armin steps back and sighs. Levi sits down near the edge of the grave, in the mud, stoic and still like a porcelain Buddha in an alcove at Jinae.

"Levi--"

"I'm not going anywhere," Levi says.

**

No amount of caffeine can keep Armin awake. The sun begins to emerge between the buildings downtown by the time he retrieves his car from the Mitras parking garage.

Levi drives them back to his apartment. At this hour, there's no traffic.

They say nothing as they shower off. Their muddy clothes lie in a heap in the sink.

Levi's room is as dark and silent as a mausoleum with the blinds drawn. Armin walks like the reanimated dead up the short flight of stairs. He lies on the bed. Levi kneels next to him and brushes his wet hair out of his face.

"It's over," Levi whispers.

Levi's not above telling comforting lies. He knows they both know, it's only the beginning.


End file.
